I wouldn't, yuck! Just think of all the remarks Bm will make and how the name will be linked back to Bm.

I wouldn't care. Nobody "owns" a name. The only reason to leave it off your list is if it will somehow bother YOU to use it.

DH never told me what names he and BM had considered, except for the really "out there" ones that he thought were crazy!

Yes and No.
Yes if it was in the context of: DH said "I want to name him XXX and BM said, I don't know, that might not work with the middle name I want"
End of discussion

No if, it was the boy name they picked out but he had a girl.
Example: me and my ex picked out a girls name *****, then had a boy. Next baby was a girl and I told everyone were going to name it *****, the name we picked out before. My WHOLE family threw a fit, hated the name, didn't like it one bit.
We picked another name.
When ExH got married and they were expecting, I found out the name they had picked for a girl *****. A little creepy, I thought it was uncomfortable, but I said nothing, not my place, guess he REALLY liked the name. anyhow, it was a boy so it didn't matter anyhow.

I know when I had BS we threw out a ton of names to try and decide. If it was just a name said in passing, then no big deal.
If it reminds you or DH of BM everytime you hear the name...Skip it and go to the next.

Funny story...when XH and I were first dating and "IN LOVE" (YUCK) We somehow got onthe topic of baby names. I mentioned that I really loved the name "XYZ" for a boy (name withheld to preserve privacy haha) Well XH (then BF) got silent. Then he mumbled something about not really liking that name. A few months later he finally confessed he had a "love child" out of wedlock with a woman he dated several years before and the childs name was "XYZ"!!!!! That explained the dead silence.

Kinda makes me think, and laugh a little. My ExH and I had a boy name picked for baby #3, but we never had a baby #3, good thing too!
Because after the divorce I met and married a man with that name!
It was DH's name!

Does anyone have a bio and DH with the same name?

It's been at least seven years since the brief mention of using that particular name if they were to have a boy.

Unless your H is opposed to using it, I'd say go for it.

I think if you both like the name and you are both happy with it then, yes.
Like Ally said no one owns a name.

I wish someone other than BMs had named these skids. I can't stand their names. Too over the top tryin to be girly. My ex stepsons name was a name that I had in the hat if I ever had a son and I would have named him that if I had wanted to. My exH would have just had 2 sons with the same name!

If it doesn't bother you, use it. If it does bother you, don't. THere's no right or wrong answer to this, all that matters is your feelings about it.

It's a name. If you love it, use it. Unless it's a name that BM made up (and since you wanted to use it before you even found out that BM thought about it, we know that's not the case), there is no reason not to.

My opinion is, your DH shouldn't have told you. Lots of people in the world consider the same names, it means nothing.

I never had this issue so I don't know whether it would bother me or not. Is there a nickname that could be used if you chose that name?

I really don't understand why your DH even bothered to mention BM or any affiliation to that name.

When I was pregnant with DS, his father and I went through a baby name book and wrote down all the names we liked. Then we exchanged lists and crossed off the ones we hated from the other person's list. Then we narrowed it down to one boy and one girl name we liked off our own lists. We flipped a coin as to who's name was chosen for which sex. He had some strange biblical names on there that I completely crossed off. It ended up being that he chose Mitchell for a boy and April for a girl. I chose Scott for a boy and Briana for a girl. His name won the coin toss for boy. But when I had DS, I named him what I wanted to name him anyway. }:) Our relationship was pretty rocky by that point and he already showed signs of bailing on DS.

Ugh, this is so typical of step-life! Why did Dh feel he 'had' to mention it to you?

When I was pregnant, I am fairly sure that all names under the sun were 'briefly' discussed. The only ones that stick in my mind were the few that I liked or that my DH liked, 2-3 each for each gender. The rest neither of us were attached to.

So did he mention it to you because he really liked it and encouraged BM to like it, and failed so now it's available for your kid together?

Did he mention it because you brought it up and he wanted you to know that BM loved that name back then?

Or can he just not bite his tongue and leave his former relationship in the past and enjoy the damn NOW with you?