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BM Called DH For Money For Grandbaby Gift

Justme54's picture

Submitted by Justme54 on Tue, 06/30/2015 - 12:26pm

DH and BM have been divorced for 20 years. The youngest of the 3 kids is SS25. His daughter is having a baby due Oct. 10. She stated that SD32's MIL and her are having a baby shower for SD32. AND...We are inviting Justme54. I spoke to her MIL...saying thought it would be nice, If ALL the grandparents went in on a crib.

I told DH you should of never let her know her number was no longer blocked. He said...She has no money. I stated...WTF! She never worried about paying on the 2 big weddings.

I told him...she is using the first grandbaby...to send a message that I am not apart of this new joy coming into SD32's life. AND... she is also dragging SS32's MIL into her toxic behavior. DH agreed...texted her back. NO...we have already purchased.

I told DH that I would not got to the baby shower. We can just mail varies items for the nursery. I stated that her husband is painting the nursery. I would guess the first thing she would like set up would be the nursery. I order the décor for the nursery and crib bedding to be shipped to SS32.

BM is now texting...Did your purchased the crib? The crib is NO longer on the registry. Or was it already purchased? DH told me....WTF, what difference does it make? I told him...I tried to tell you. I told him there is NO crib on SD32 two baby registries. DH calls her back...Tells her to never call again unless it is an emergency in reference to the KIDS!

NOT MY CIRCUS! LOL!

Comments

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Tue, 06/30/2015 - 12:36pm

This is why I always cringe when I hear a SM talk about how they (Her and DH) will NEVER have to deal with BM again once skid is turns 18. That may happen ever now and then but normally it will never be totally cut off. Gag. They always find something.

At least your DH sounds like he has his crap together about it. lol

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Tue, 06/30/2015 - 1:29pm

There will always be times after they turn 18, but the legal responsibility ends.

DSO is very good about thinking kids are adults and need to take care of themselves after 18...yes there will be times even adults kids need help.

This past winter, SS21 wasn't allowed to stay with BM while SS15 was there for 4 months. At first, BM would txt that OSS was sleeping in his truck and it was so cold, hinting for DSO to let him stay with us...NO EFFING WAY. She finally got the hint and stopped after DSO ignored her every time. DSO never even asked me, he damn well knew better.

IamexhaustedSM's picture

Submitted by IamexhaustedSM on Tue, 06/30/2015 - 1:16pm

WOW just wow. How can she even think it is okay to contact her EX to go in on a gift. That is so wrong! I would have no problem putting BM in her place if this happened. Glad your DH has a pair.

Glassslipper's picture

Submitted by Glassslipper on Tue, 06/30/2015 - 1:34pm

NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!! Go in on a gift with a crazy BM!
I do sometimes, rarely, ok only once did I go in on a gift with my ExH and new wife, turned out great. I'm not crazy, he is not crazy new wife is not crazy. The gift was from: Mom, Dad, SM and SD. Happy Birthday kid!

HOWEVER DH used to go in on GIFTS all the time with CRAZY BM! Here is how it would happen:
SD: Mom said you and her and buying me XXX for my birthday
DH: Oh, she didn't say anything to me
_____
BM: you owe me: $$$$$ for half her gift
DH: Ok, here is the check
________
SD: Hey glass slipper look what Dad, Mom and my step Dad got me for my birthday!

?Is there a reason my names not on the card, Yep, cuz BM is bitter!

If you DH bought that crib it would be from mommy and daddy and you would be chopped liver!
Never a good spot to shove the step mom!

z3girl's picture

Submitted by z3girl on Tue, 06/30/2015 - 2:16pm

^THIS^

Been there. I don't exist if BM is involved.

Now that SD24 is grown, I let DH give any money he feels she needs. (I can trust that he won't just give away tons of money. He had to pay money on a wasted college degree for her, and he is still bitter about that.) I handle the small personal gifts. It's obvious that I pick out the gifts and SD24 seems to love whatever I buy her, and she gets what she "needs" from DH. Perfect.

We've already discussed how much DH will give her if she gets married. I'd probably buy a nice shower gift for her (but not attend!!) and let DH write the checks. We will not care what BM is doing.

Justme54's picture

Submitted by Justme54 on Wed, 07/01/2015 - 5:49pm

Sally,

We blocked her number when she was calling 24/7 before we got married. At that time, they had been divorced about 16 years. The youngest at the time was 20. ATT charges $5 a month to block a number. We blocked it for 3 months and canceled and all was good.

YSS25 injured his shoulder at work. BM had DH's EX-SIL(DH's brother's ex-wife) call to tell DH about it. I was like...WTF! You son is a grown man. DH was like...I know. When SS25 had surgery he told SS25...Be sure to tell your mother to call me, if there are any issues with the surgery. I WAS PISSED! DH gets of the phone and looks at me with this puppy dog eyes...DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG? I keep my cool. I told DH...You are opening a can of worms...she will be calling over stupid shit. DH says...OH NO, I will not let that happen.

DH's ex was arrested after married for breaking a peace bond...I think it was in reference to an old boyfriend. Her 2 youngest kids had to bail her out. GET THIS...She is a school teacher! OMG!