You are here

Manipulative scumbag comes to mind

Sweet T's picture

So yesterday he sends me this big long diatribe that if you are a stranger looking in you might think was a nice attempt but if you know how he opperates you would know what the agenda was.

He made a huge point if telling me SS15 had started drivers ED. I knew this as SS15 and BM1 had told me this. He went on to say:

The safety and well-being of all of my children is my number one concern at all times. ( this line had been underlined) I will not allow BS to ride in a vehicle with anyone else driving besides SS17 or myself at any time until I feel it’s appropriate or necessary (and SS17 hardly ever drives BSanywhere by himself). This includes him riding with GF driving (though her “girls-only” weekends coincide with the weekends I have the boys, thus allowing more one-on-one time with the boys and limiting her interaction with the kids). I am usually the one driving regardless of who’s in the car (with the only exception being in SS’s truck or last time they were with me when we drive to Southern MN and eye allergies and fatigue forced me to the passenger seat for the last 45 minutes of our drive and I asked SS17 to drive).

Also, for tonight’s phone call, I am helping GF look at homes tonight, so I may not be able to answer the phone right away. Please make BS aware of this and, if I see that he does call and I cannot answer it, I will call him back at the same number as soon as I can.

So BS calls him and ex lies and tells him he is on call this week at work and gets off the phone, 25 minutes later he calls back and talks to BS for 2 minutes and then has to go ( BS can hear someone talking in the background)

BS goes about his business and goes to bed at 8pm. A little after 8 ex calls back, I was on the phone and didn't answer because BS was asleep ( he knows his bed time) and I was not talking with him. I did text back and say that ... he texts this long diatribe that he had gotten off the phone because GF's was working with her realtor making an offer on a house and he had to go. He didn't want BS to think he forgot about him. ( WTF last week he never returned the kids calls but since GF is sitting next to him he makes it a point to look like a good dad)He is such a phoney.

I feel bad for this poor woman who just bought a home for them to live together in. He is so using her and painting himsef to be such a great guy. Barf.

Comments

Sweet T's picture

Oh and I think that the whole driving thing is his way of passivly aggressivly directed towards BS riding with my boyfriend. Back at xmas he threatened that he would not turn over BS to me if he looked out his window and saw that I was not behind the wheel/ ( decree says nothing about driving accept that you have to be 18 or we both give permission) Ny BF has been a truck driver for 22 years and has a perfect record. He can parralell park a freaking semi, my ex is a shitty driver and has a big bashed in fender to prove it on his new car. He collected the insurance and never got it fixed.

Sweet T's picture

No kidding, he fancies himself a writer and trust me there were way more to the email and texts than this. He love to go on and on about his girlfriends to me. I have crazy assed texts where he tells me how much he loves them and is going to treat them like proncesses. When the relationships end he says they were crazy or had more problems then he can deal with...projection people.

I told BS what he said about last night and he was like why did he say the thing about work if they were in the middle of buying a house? He is 8 and caught the lie. My response was, I have no idea.

Sweet T's picture

HE is so messed up it is hard to say. He over shares, he did it with BM1 constantly and with me to a lesser point ( usually when he does it means he is a little less hateful with me...but odd)

He also has zero boundaries. Our almost 8 year old is his confidant.

fakemommy's picture

Your son's name is in this. Yeah, I got his message right off. I hope you ignored. The whole time I was reading this I was thinking, "And why are you wasting her time with this?"

Sweet T's picture

Thanks for the catch. I never replied back and the only reason I texted him last night is so he can't say I am with holding or not allowing his 2 calls a week.

I never share anything about my relationship with him ever. BS did tell him that my BF took a new job and is no longer over the road, so I know he now knows that BF is around us more.

fakemommy's picture

He's crazy. But you knew that. I guess if you needed to you could make the argument that you drove his kids around when you were married/dating.

Sweet T's picture

I could and I did. However I refuse to engage in his games.

I will confess that it hurts that he has cost me two homes, my retirement, and so much more and that I am raising our son by myself because he is an idiot and desperately saving so that I can afford to buy a townhome for the two of us and this leach latches on to some woman and gets her to buy them a home. He always lands on his feet ( at someone elses expense). His karama train is long over due.

fakemommy's picture

He really doesn't land on his feet though. He relies on a woman to provide a home for him and his kids (when they are there). This means he has zero freedom. He can't just leave whenever he wants, even if she turns out to be crazy. He'll never have a really good relationship with his kids, and when he's of retirement age, he'll live off of social security and desperately call his kids asking for a relationship (and for them to pay for his cell phone). They'll have had it and he'll be miserable. His karma train is already here, but it is hard to see that when you are in it. I guarantee you are 100% happier than him and more secure. You'll get your finances back to where you want them and he'll continue to circle the drain. The kind of security you have from being self sufficient and not needing to bounce in and out of relationships to feel whole is more than he'll ever have.

Sweet T's picture

You are right Fakemommy. I think some people are natural born users and he is one of them. His relationship with the older kids is shot. They see him out of obligation not love and respect.

misSTEP's picture

What a narcissist. He feels like all you are doing is sitting around judging him on driving?? When was that even an issue? If he is trying to refer to your BF in any way, he is going about it in a really convoluted way.

Do you use email with him at all? I would send an email stating: "You called BS at X:XX on whateverday and told him that you were on call and work and would call later. You called back at x:xx and talked for a short time. You called again at x:xx. I didn't answer because BS was already in bed. I texted you and you replied that you were with your GF who was in the middle of buying a house.

Going forward, please remember that BS has a bedtime of x:xx at my house so you can call between x and y in order to talk to him.

Thank you for the idiotic long-ass novel about who and why certain people drive with BS in the car on your time. Not sure what that had to do with the price of tea in China...?"

Well, maybe not the last paragraph. But you get my point. Make sure to have documentation of his inconsistency with what he says versus what he does.

Sweet T's picture

Who knows what he thinks I do. I do not talk with him and only use email or text. I keep everything. Calling him out only will make him lash out at me and is not worth the effort for documentation.. I will document it on my own. It is sad but BS knows his dad lied w/o me having to bad mouth his dad. He is smart and figured it out.

We actually had a pretty pleasant evening after wards. BS played Legos and then he and I played cards till bed time. It was awesome! BS knows that it is paying attention to a person that matters. Every night we either go to the pool at our townhome or we walk our dog or we hang out and spend quality time together. My ex has no idea how to do that if it isn't showy.

Raising kids is not a spectator sport.

princessmofo's picture

Sweet T, I'm still volunteering to five finger ninja monkey nutpunch him. Just wanted you to know my services are still available. Wink

Sweet T's picture

Princessmofo that would be awesome. My BF is italian and always tells me his people specialize in cement shoes Smile

Only 10 more years on my prison sentance :).The day BS graduates I am telling the fucker to pound sand and to stay the F away from me.... well maybe the day after .

Sweet T's picture

and he is back at it. Now he is wanting to make up last nights call, he also is talking about pick up on Thursday and fishing on my plans. I already addressed that the decree says he picks up Friday but I would be willing to let him get him Friday night... he never replied back on that. Oh and he is asking about the swim suit that he made me send with for him to keep because he is too cheap to buy his own. BUT he has never taken the kids swiming at his indoor pool.

This is my response:

We have swimming lessons tonight and then plans afterwards, so tomorrow would be a better night for a make up call.

Between 5 and 6pm on Thursday would be fine for pick up.

He says that he left his swim suit at your house as you requested. Do you want to borrow his life jacket? He thinks he can swim better than he can so I have to keep a close eye on him as he wishes to be in the deep end.