I feel like I don't matter.
How do you deal with a husband who always takes his adult son's side no matter what he does?
My stepson is 30 years old and has a young baby. In the past he has moved in with us and it has never been good. I thought this time he would behave differently because he had a child.
His fiancé is insane and after two days she was having such a screaming fit in the middle of the street, my husband told her to leave and never come back. This was all over the fact that there are rules in our house and she could not do whatever she wants. She took the baby and moved in with my husband's ex wife. The ex has a small house so my stepson stayed with us.
I gave him 30 days to find a job and an apartment. In the past after 30 days things went bad, and I mean BAD. One of the times he moved in with us resulted in him stealing everything of any value in the house. One of the rules was that he was to never go into our bedroom and no stealing. On day 32 he went in our bedroom and took some money to buy cigarettes. I don't think my husband would have done anything if my blood pressure had not gone through the roof. The only thing he did was give him gas money and told him to go spend the night at his Mom's house so I could calm down.
On day 31 I told my husband that I was done dealing with his son and getting an attitude and yelled at every time I had to deal with him. I also told him I was not going to complain to him about what he does anymore because he just gets mad at me like I am the one being a pig in the house and all the other BS I put up with. My husband does not want to deal with his son and had the nerve to say he doesn't like being put in the middle. I am so tired of this. Any advice?
Simple. SS is a grown ass
Simple. SS is a grown ass man with a family. He is not a child, he is a GUEST. And he is a guest that is behaving abominably.
Tell DH that either SS goes, or they both go.
You feel like you don't
You feel like you don't matter because you're being treated like you don't matter. Daddy dearest wants to be a lazy BFF parent to his disgusting spawn and enable his criminal behavior. What a crap father he is. And don't get me started on little Jimmy Stickyhands. I'm so glad the next generation is spawning, because that family lineage absolutely should continue - they're so GREAT for society!
Being expected to function as a hotel for adults, who not only can't get their lives together, but refuse to follow common sense decency rules as a guest (let alone not committing felony theft!) is crazy. Crazy.
This is not the life you want. Right now you are losing your mind, and questioning your own judgement, because the nutters in your life are trying to tell you that you are overreacting. You are living in a false reality right now where up is down and left is right.
You aren't wrong, but you must accept that you are being treated very poorly and as if you have no say in your own home. To be happy, you need your husband to change and value you, and he is hesitant to do that. You can't control him, you can't make him feel anything. All you can do is accept what is, and then make decisions off of that.
Unfortunately, you only have two choices of where you go from here: Stay, and keep going crazy, trying all the while to change others and be heard by people who don't want to listen to you, lest they be inconvenienced. Or leave, and get free of the crazy once and for all.
We just bought the house and
We just bought the house and moved in April 30th, it is in both our names. It was our dream home for three whole weeks, now I don't even want to go home. My husband works 12 hour days, so he is not dealing with it as much as I am. I get home around 5pm and there is no peace from then until I leave for work in the morning.
SS is out of the house and
SS is out of the house and will not be back in the house unless we are here. He got a job and is staying with his real Mom for now. It seems that after the incident with my blood pressure, my husband finally realizes that I cannot deal with the drama. I think he finally realizes that his son is exactly like his ex wife and will never change.
Good news! Glad your DH has
Good news! Glad your DH has seen the light.