Have you disengaged from one Skid but not the other?
I have had more than my fill of SS. His constant whining and ruining every outing was already too much, but his behavior to me since school let out is the straw that broke this camels back.
The kid is now not speaking to me unless he wants something. He walks in the door right past me and doesn't acknowledge I'm even in the room. Then, less than 2 minutes later is asking for something.
I started to take notice and the only time he talks to me is when he wants/needs something. He will speak to SO and SD but not me. Last Friday he walked in the door and I asked him how his week went and if he did anything fun. He was standing less than 3ft in front of me. He ignored me. I asked again, he ignored me again. I said fine and pushed past him.
When it's time to leave SO and SD will kiss me goodbye and SS doesn't say one word to me.
If that's the way he wants to play it, fine with me. I can most certainly save all my money buying him crap for school, taking cupcakes to class for his b day, spoiling on him for Christmas and his B Day. And all the other crap he hates like making sure he bathes, dr appts, homework etc....I'm done.
I'm going to have a talk with him this weekend and explain that he doesn't have to speak to me or even like me, but the street goes two ways. I will no longer be doing ANYTHING for him. Grrrr, the hard part is going to be telling SO because he always says I don't like SS.
So to my question, is it ok for me to stop doing everything for SS and still do for SD. She is a good kid, and actually enjoys spending time with me and appreciates the things I do for her.
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Comments
That's the thing, "I don't
That's the thing, "I don't like his kid" when I ask why he isn't punished for punching a kid in school or I ask why it's ok for a 9yr old to disrespect me in my own home. I don't like SS9's behavior and SO makes it so much worse.
This is such great advice.
This is such great advice. What a great way to turn that comment arouND and back onto the parent. You should post this in a blog.
I think it is completely ok
I think it is completely ok to disengage from one and not the other. However, I would caution to try and disengage in a polite way, maybe how you would treat an annoying co-worker. Keep it business like: sm do you know where my charger is? I haven't seen it.
Just be polite and to the point when he engages you but don't go out of your way to engage him. Don't make him a target or intentionally do mean things to him.
Eventually he will notice or your dh will notice. Come up with a go to reply basically stating in your own words that u don't like having your feelings trampled on by a kid
it's totally possible, and dh
it's totally possible, and dh is custodial!!!
i've never had any issues w/ mss beyond just normal kid stuff. i disengaged from yss a long time ago and it's definitely improved our interactions. he would intentionally do shit to push my buttons over and over and over again. and sometimes (unfortunately) he'd get the reaction he was hoping for.
so we agreed to start over. and MY way of starting over is simply ignoring poor behavior totally. i refuse to even interact with him when he's not behaving right. i just mentally brush my shoulder, say "meh" inside my head, and go about my business. but when he's being normal, everything's fine and dandy. needless to say, there's been MANY more 'normal days' than 'naughty days'!!!