OF COURSE she's "going for" child support. Did we expect any differently?
So here's a recap of what's going on in our home...
Back last November I informed my husband I couldn't take anymore of SD13's behavior and when we went up to my mother's for his annual Thanksgiving hunting trip I was not coming back.
It almost gave him a heart attack. I told him he was welcome to go but SD was not because my health is failing and I can't do this anymore.
Well...I allowed him to talk me into waiting until April. Then eventually he talked me into taking SD with us. I was NOT excited about that part but I felt like I could deal with it better if I was in the mountains near my family who has always been my support and safety net.
We had to go through court, fight BM, etc. to get permission to take SD with us when we moved. DH agreed in court (without even talking to me) that BM could pay ZERO child support if she just agreed to let precious princess go with us to the mountains to live.
Fast forward to May/June, 2015. We are still here. I am sick. I am barely working and we are inches away from losing just about everything we have. And SD13 suddenly has decided she doesn't want to move to the mountains with us. She understandssss that daddyyyy is still going to gooooo..... pout pout sniff sniff. And she has been on a campaign to make him feel guilty and get him to stay here.
And in the meantime I started packing. As soon as I finish (which might take me awhile because I am so sick with fibromyalgia), I am out of here. My mama can and will come get me, with or without DH. He swears he's coming with.
So then BM starts texting me, taunting me that SD wants to come back to her. (uh...???) I let her in on a little secret. I'm ECSTATIC that SD wants to stay here. I am looking forward to cuddling with DH in a snug little cabin in my beautiful mountains that are home.
That was probably a mistake.
Last night BM refused to take SD for her visitation. I don't know what's up but either SD is trying to back out of staying here or BM is going to refuse to take her back, simply to mess with my marriage because that's what she loves to do. So today I'm sicker than ever and having to medicate heavily.
I had another mild talk with DH and he was surprisingly willing to text BM and ask her if she'd started the paperwork to get SD back into her custody (as she had stated she was going to do.) She texted back and said indeed she had.
And then... don't think I'm not "going for child support." LOL did we ever expect any differently? DH is not going to be working, btw. He is going to have to apply for disability due to his back and headaches. I don't know how they get child support out of somebody that can't work, but I'm told it's based on minimum wage.
I am going to try to work when I get up there. I find I am much better able to manage my fibromyalgia when SD is not around.
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Comments
Let's hope that SD doesn't
Let's hope that SD doesn't change her mind again and say she is now coming.
If someone was making me that sick though, I wouldnt want them in my life at all. Nope not worth it. Life is too short. I cant believe you even agreed to it, after you said that you were leaving. And that your DH is okay with it. Doesn't he get upset seeing you so sick?
I have made it pretty clear
I have made it pretty clear that SD is not allowed to change her mind. DH has not said what he would do if she did, but I told him I'm leaving anyway and she is not coming. He was quiet and I know he's sad but he admitted he was fine leaving her here and getting her through the summer.
My mama is retiring on June
My mama is retiring on June 19th, so yes she probably could and might. My sister threatens just about every weekend to come and get me. I love my family<3
I packed two more boxes this
I packed two more boxes this morning:) I am waiting on a couple of things to fall into place or I would have my sister down here ASAP. My brother is moving out of a house very near to my mother and the rent is cheap, cheap cheap. I want to move in there until we can all find land and move onto it together.
I don't want SD in my stuff so I just made her clean. A lot. That was fun.
And I don't know how/when DH is going to pay child support because I am NOT paying it and the laws in this state and the one I'm moving to don't allow them to touch my income.
Just as an aside -- you do
Just as an aside -- you do know that if your DH successfully gets disability, his daughter will be eligible for disability payments also. It's a percentage of his income, but can't remember the exact percentage, and paid directly to her (well, the bank account has to be in her name and a guardian's/parents name).
I don't know how that works in relationship to also paying CS -- is it then in lieu of CS? That part may differ from court to court.
It's probably going to take
It's probably going to take him a long time to get disability because he does not have good medical records (because we don't have insurance) and his diagnosis is not in the "blue book" so he will probably have to go in front of a judge to get it. That usually takes at least two years:(
CS will be based on his
CS will be based on his disability payments.
Are you SURE your DH "agreed to no CS"? I can't imagine a court agreeing to no cs. In fact, I've heard plenty of cases where people try saying they don't want it and a judge telling them they have no choice since it's for the kids, not them.
I hope you get back to your home and feel better soon and that your SD stays with her vile mother.
Yes, he agreed to no child
Yes, he agreed to no child support. She carries SD on her insurance which she gets very cheap because she works at a hospital. And it's minimal, horrible insurance. That's it. She even owed us two months child support from where it got paid after SD lived with us. DH even agreed to forego that debt. Let's just say I was an UNHAPPY camper that day.
Some states count ss
Some states count ss disability paid to the child as child support,some dont. Arizona subtracts the ss payments from whatever child support the parent would pay. So if child supprt eould be $800 a month, and the ss check for sd is $300 a month, then DH would pay $500 a month cs.
If you're in Ny, then you get no reduction in child suppprt, it's based on DH income and the ss is just a bonus for BM.
Those are the only two states I know.
Our state counts SSDI
Our state counts SSDI payments to the child toward the child support the father owes. I'm not sure about the state we're moving to, but since she is under this state's jurisdiction I assume they'll go by the laws in this state?
I am concerned about the 2+ years or so it could take for him to get disability and is unable to work. Not sure what they'll do about that.