You are here

BMH has some balls

stuckinthebay's picture

Recap: SD4 is in H care for 6 months, then goes back to her mom for 6 months. While in his care, SD4 oovoos with her mom twice a week. BM is in Germany so they are a day ahead. We all went to my sisters for the weekend. It was Saturday our time, Sunday BMs time which was also Mother's Day. H prepped SD4 as usual they days when she needs to talk to BM. Before BM and BMH called to skype, H even reminded SD4 it was Mother's Day in Germany. He put her on a quiet room like usual and we all left her alone. What happened after that was out of our hands. SD4 came out of the room a couple Of times. One time was her needing to poop and H told her she can take the phone with her. I helped her on the toilet (she likes privacy and calls is when she's done). She shouted for H, he cleaned her up and sent her back in the room.BM and BMH got a good 20mins with her. SD4 wasn't fully involved because she wanted to play. This happens to us as well. IT happens!! We don't complain. We take what we can.

This is an email my husband got shortly after BM hung up with SD4

" This is BMH e-mailing you,

It's very upsetting that of all days in the year, Mother's Day you decide not to have SD4 at home to talk to her Mom. We had to experience a very bad oovoo session and now I am certain that she is upset as a result of it. It's becoming common place that SD4 is not at home, without distractions for video sessions and it's getting to the point where it's very bad. You can see the way that she acts when she is taken away from that setting and made to talk on oovoo and while it's not completely against the parenting plan it is a lack of regard for her Mom. She is about to come over here to Germany soon and I'm certain you would appreciate the same respect that we are asking for, so keep that in mind when you create a detrimental situation for communication between her and her Mother on Mother's Day. We are asking for you to give us the respect of providing a good experience during these times. When she was here, aside from the time we visited my family in the US, she was always at home and in the same exact setting for her oovoo time so that she didn't have any problems with wanting to talk. We almost always had her eat dinner before, brought her home and had her in a quiet room for oovoo sessions so that there were no distractions. You are going to do whatever you are going to do but we are letting you know that we would appreciate a little bit of respect. If you plan on responding to this e-mail in a negative way then there is no reason to because this is just a request. Maybe you can think about how something like a Mother's Day session like this would impact the way SD4 Mother feels. BM has already gone to bed and doesn't know that I am writing this but you should just think about what I've written here.

Thanks"

This is bull. They act like they are so perfect. They get upset when they can't get an hour with SD4. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. We went through the same thing! Their response was "she is a child". So take your own fucking advice. I tell SD4, show your mommy what you made. She says no. We even tell her things to tell her mom like what she did that day, if she tried something new or ate something new. SD4 doesn't want to. Sometimes she doesn't want to talk to them at all. H sits her down and tells her she's gotta talk cuz they miss her just like he misses her when she's with them. I feel like this email was out of line and not intended for a good reason.

Comments

smomofone's picture

:jawdrop: what a douchebag. I think that sums it up. And who the heck is he anyways! He is just the stepdad. Mom has an issue she needs to take it up with dad. I get that she wants to spend time with her kid but um, when you are in two different counties and there are time issues then sometimes it is not possible. This douche expects you to be home for every call. FK Him. Seriously.

I would be livid receiving an email like this. She is a freaking 4 year old for god's sake, 4 year olds don't want to sit in front of a monitor to talk to someone. They want to be out playing.

Seriously, FK Him! lol

Maxwell09's picture

BM sent DH a similar email a couple weeks ago bc SS, three, doesn't want to sit on the phone with her mid week. Kids this age have short attention spans and after SS is in school for the early part of the day, he's ready to run wild. Like yall we make him sit down and DH will even remind him to "talk with mom" but really he could care less. He just wants to get it over and done with. My DHs response to her email was simply: He's 3, I already make him sit down and talk to you, there's nothing else I can do" and of course she agreed

stuckinthebay's picture

Seriously. BM asks the same questions "what did you do today? Did you eat? What did you eat? Did you play outside?" Then it goes to SD4 asking her to show her all her toys. Then when that gets old she wants to go.

WTF...REALLY's picture

^^^^this is a great idea. That age just can't sit still.

Just remind them of that fact. The step dad is just being overly emotional since it was mothers day. I would not turn this into a fight. Just offer solutions. You all have 14 more years of this.

stuckinthebay's picture

BM remarried to a guy in the military. They're stationed in Germany. Once SD4 starts school, H will only get breaks. Let me mention that these fucking tickets are not cheap.

stuckinthebay's picture

H pays for his way and SD4 way to pick her up. BM pays for her way and SD4 to bring her home.

Disneyfan's picture

I really hope there is a prek program mom can enroll the kid in this fall. This back and forth every 6 months is beyond stupid.

stuckinthebay's picture

Well this's will be the last year H and BM split a year since she starts kindergarten next year. Shorter visits, more money. Oh well

new to this's picture

So every Saturday you are expected to have her at home so she can talk to her mother? I don't think so. I mean I understand this time cause it was Mother's Day but not every week. BMH is out of line big time. It's not his place to email DH. If BM has a problem she needs to address it.

misSTEP's picture

I can understand that the H is upset on behalf of his wife.

However, sending an email straight to you guys is overstepping huge. If BM was upset or had an issue, she should have dealt with it instead of getting all butt hurt.

Secondly, the kid is FOUR FFS! When my son was four, the only way you could get him to sit still for HALF an hour was to put something with monster trucks on the television!

I would not reply to H's email. However I might forward it to BM and ask what she feels you could do to make the sessions more productive for her.