... that I have come to really appreciate the honesty on this site.
I am in a 6+ year relationship with my SO. He has a 15+ yr old daughter. I have a 23 year old son that lives on his own and that I have a good relationship with. my SO has a good relationship with my son too. I have known SD15 since she was 9.
She has pulled quite a few stunts since I've known her and she's been coddled and lead to believe that she is entitled.
It's a really long story and someday I may have the energy to get it all down, but the crux of it is this...

I am now saving my money to move out.
I have disengaged from SD15 and really a lot from her dad, too. He is okay with that. I am not-or I haven't been, until recently.
We still live in his dad's home(another long story)and share the same bed, but we haven't been intimate in months and he is okay with that. I am not. STILL. It's been going on like this FOR YEARS.

I kept reading about disengaging and when I finally did, I started to feel so much better.
She is not my responsibility to ... feed... clothe... care for when she gets sick... buy presents for(which has saved me THOUSANDS of dollars)... etc...

At first, it felt wrong. I have loved this girl and treated her as my own since she was 9.
She has the same expectations as my son, and my nieces and nephews, and any children in my presence and it is one thing - DONT BE AN ASSH*LE.

Well, since her dad and her think she's never an asshole (her dad admits she's sometimes very selfish and entitled-well DUH, you raised her to be that way!) I have disengaged and FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

I hope some day she gets it together because the first time LIFE let's her have consequence for action, she wont like it. I always thought it was better that kids learned these lessons at home, so life wasn't so hard on them when they did have setbacks- but what do I know? I'm just the underappreciated girlfriend/workhorse who happens to have money for things the dad doesn't...

She does not have to apologize for any thing she says or does when it comes to me, or anyone really.
She is now in her 4th, yes that's a FOUR, high school because she has been having trouble with attendance and 'friend issues'- but what do I know, I was never 15 once, and I was never bullied or looked down upon by the same type of girls this girl is turning out to be.

I am over it.
That saddest thing is, once I move out(as soon as I can scrape enough money together- and possibly get a night job- oh joy!)my SO will be left alone because his spoiled entitled daughter will be moving back in with he BM, where she can call the shots again, at the end of this school year. But I'm the assh*le for pointing ANY of this out. I'm the jerk because, how can I expect an apology from her if she is only saying the words, not meaning them? I'm the crazy bitch that thinks it's okay for a 15 year old child of divorce to be told, No, you can't go to the prom (she's a sophmore-it's not even her's-she was invited by older kids that she doesn't even like- I asked her...when she moves back to her mom's she has no intention of keeping in contact with any of these kids here, on this side of the state) because you have a very poor attitude and you still haven't apologized to PPopper for the mean things you've said. I'm the one with anger management problems because I don't immediately forgive and forget how she keeps walking all over me- with her dad's permission.
He is as much to blame, if not more, than her.
Hence, my disengaging from him, also.

These people are takers and this well is dry, so of course, it's okay for me to move out. As a matter of fact, he said, it might be best for us all...
Nice.
Good thing we never got married, I guess.

Typing this out just makes me more mad.
Now I need to logoff(im at work )and go home. ggrrrr

Thank you all for listening, and for being here.
I never knew there were so many similar stories out there.

Thank you for the tips, and support.
I'll keep trying to remain disengaged.
THANKS FOR THAT THE MOST!!!