So to those who say you aren't her real mom you say.... "I took her to her bra fitting and showed her how to use a tampon and picked her up from school every day. I am the only REAL mom she has ever had so instead of opening your ignorant mouths, get the facts straight. Have a nice day."

My bride and I met when our son was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo. Just as you are the REAL mom to your daughter, I am the only REAL dad my son has ever had.

I have never let anyone stand on an opinion that I am not my son's real dad. I set them straight every time. I may not have spawned him but he is mine none the less.

I don't have any advice because I don't know what I would do... but you have my sympathy. This must cut like a thousand knives. Has your DH not said anything to her about her snub?

But I just want go make sure I understand, what do you want to do that she won't allow you to do? Do you want your husband and you to walk her down the aisle? If so, I understand I just want to make sure I'm getting it. Maybe she just feels that's a man's role?? Do you get along well now? Does she know you're hurt? I'm sorry, I dread when my skids get married, if they ever actually find someone to want tot put up with their crap.

I'm so sorry. I do hope this will turn around. This site is filled with bad, but valid, examples. There are step daughters I know that actually love their stepmom, and include her in their lives later when they are adults. It's possible in the next ten years or so, as your SD becomes a mom, she may realize what a true mom you really were to her. It may be little early for that yet.

I'm guessing this isn't so much about any one thing but the whole feel of being left out and not honored for all you've done. She would have done right by you to honor you now.

This too shall pass. Nurture yourself and your family. Don't let this take up too much space in your head. This may change later.

I have to add my comments. I helped pay for my SD36's wedding and there is not ONE photo of me in the album. There was NOT ONE taken. Period. I remember, I was there. My DH was not thinking, he was busy with his other family members - cousins, siblings, etc. and I was in utter shock at how horrible I was treated. That *&^%$ KJ&*^% lived in MY house, that I paid for, etc., for about a year and at that point we were friendly and I helped her shop for dresses because she was stranged from her own Mom at that time. Wedding day comes and I am a 5th wheel, no one even bothered with me.

I spent my day in utter disbelief that people could be so horrible and insensitive and rude to others. I'm a person. But I was treated like I was invisible.

That worthless girl never even sent thank you notes which was especially embarrassing to my DH because he had invited a few work colleagues who gave her monetary gifts. But of course, my DH just let it slide... let it slide, let everything slide, make excuses for poor behavior. And here we are today. Behavior even worse.

She was also driving a car that we paid for. A few days after the wedding, we signed it over to her. (DH insisted, I did not want to...) AND the ungrateful child promptly went out and used it as a down payment on a new sports car. That sports car was repossessed about 8 months later. My hard earned money to the wind...

It was a sign of what was to follow in the coming years. I could go on and on here, with stories that are fit for Jerry Springer. You get it.

...I would just remember what makes a great relationship isn't the title someone holds...It is based on the merit of the relationship itself..what you put into it and what she puts into it...With that being said...you cannot replace bio mom...on the other side of the coin...biomom cannot replace you...stop falling into the trap of comparing yourself to bio mom...Let your relationship stand on it's own merit...

Relationships are all subject to change...that is the way it goes in life...Seasons change...situations change...people grow up...transitions happen...just maintain what you have already established with your sd if that is what she desires also...and try not to feel like you have to compete with bio mom...live, and let live....peace

Why do you have to wear beige? Wear what you want. You are a grownup after all. They don't like it, F*ck them.

As for the mom issues.....I was the only female adult in my stepdaughter's life for 13 years. I did the period crap, the bras, the broken hearts and boo boos. Now I am nothing, and that is fine with me.

Dup post...still learning how to post from my phone

I have been in your shoes. My SD wanted to have me sit in the back of the room so that she could pretend that her parents were still together. I was not included in a single photo. I was not announced. I was never thanked for the thoughtful bridal shower gifts that I had specially made. I was never thanked for finding the florist that would make the bouquets that she wanted. Oh and for the wedding invitations we were sickened that my friends received a hand written invitation on a note card.
I know that it hurts. I was hurt thinking of all of the things that I have done for these skids, bought for these skids over the years and in their eyes I am nothing. I am the woman that their father married. Nothing more. I now keep them at an arms length. I no longer buy things for them. I dread Christmas. The only time DH and I ever argue is over the skids calling here for money. The next one is getting married. I am truly dreading it. The best advise that I have for you is to make sure that you have at least one really good friend at the wedding that you can have fun with. Forget about all of the pain and hurt that you feel, it's the brides day but you go and have fun with your friend. Gotta have a good friend in attendance, it will make all of the difference.

Guess I'm lucky I got nasty behavior upfront with the adult skids, it'll save me thousands of $$$ and years of heartache. I will happily NOT attend any weddings. Will not buy any more gifts for the grandskids since the ones I bought returned to me, DH's gifts were accepted graciously. Disengaging is great, DH's kids and grandkids are his. I take absolutely no ownership and no pretend role. I treat them like distant friends and nothing more.

I once read a quote, "Do not overly invest in your step kids." These above stories are the reasons why!

You have my sympathy, my SD is getting married next year and my wife keeps adding up the $$ I'm gonna have to give her so SD has wedding of her dreams. I'm dreading the final amount.