So I'm trying to be sympathetic to BM, but it's hard.

BM's most recent tantrum was related to DH and I always "doing everything right away and she never gets to".

For example...we are trying to find care somewhere for SS over the summer while we are working, that wont break the bank. Several weeks ago I ran into BM at the store and she told me about a place that was pretty affordable. I passed the info on to DH and he and BM discussed it. They agreed that BM would get the information and set up a tour for the two of them. Three weeks later she still had done nothing, even after several reminders from DH, so he finally took it upon himself to contact the place to get the pricing and set up a tour. He contacted her getting her availability and letting her know he was doing this and she was fine with it. He made sure he made the appointment at a time that worked for her and everything. [[ I had NOTHING to do with this process - DH did it all ]] The day came for the visit and BM was in a terrible mood, she wouldn't look at DH or talk to him and then apparently when it was time to leave she peeled out of the parking lot before SS had even shut the car door completely. So DH waited a while and then text her asking what was going on.... She sent him this big long message about how this program was her idea and DH and I did all the work as usual and she never gets to do anything and she's tired of us always being the better parents. She said she was grateful for all that I do for SS but she's having a hard time sharing him with another woman...and so on.

Now that last part I respect and understand 100%, DH doesn't like sharing SS with BM's hubby, but it's part of life at this point. I also try really hard not to over step my bounds and I have always encouraged SS to have a good relationship with his mom, and they are in therapy working on that (that's a different story for another day and not my fault).

For the first part...sorry not much sympathy there. DH gave her the opportunity, as usual, to handle it and...as usual, she didn't get it done in a timely fashion. DH even explained that a decision for our other option had to be made by the end of this month, so they needed to get the ball rolling on this (DH hates last minute stuff and so do I). And this is ALWAYS how it is. In Spring of 2014 DH asked BM when Kindergarten registration was and she said it's already taken care of. DH was pissed she did that without consulting him but didn't think to follow up (lesson learned) two weeks before SS was to start school, we found out BM STILL hadn't registered him for school. That's when DH had enough and now takes it upon himself to get things done (took him five years, but at least he got there LOL). Also, how is this my fault?!?! I didn't help set it up, I didn't attend the tour, the only thing I did was pass her message on to DH. Obviously a huge mistake!

So now DH and BM are meeting to discuss this "issue" which annoys me so much! If she want's to do these things, then DO IT!!! Don't wait weeks and then get mad when DH steps up (shit, be glad he's helping)

I truly believe a major part of the problem is, DH and I now live in the same town as her and she's no longer getting away with making DH out to be the bad guy (I also think she's starting to realize DH is a decent guy who cares about his son - unlike the image she made up of him in her mind). She used to not tell DH about SS's events, so then when he didn't show up, she made him out to be the bad guy. But now that DH is taking it upon himself to stay informed and talk with the teachers, etc. she can't do that and people are realizing that we aren't (DH in particular) terrible people. The situation's not ideal, but we are making the best of it. We were even told by BM's oldest kids father and his wife (I know) that they were so glad they finally got to spend some time with us because they now know we're good people. That was a huge red flag to me, making it seem like she wasn't exactly describing us in the best light. But whatever, there's nothing we can do about that except do out best and hopefully people with judge us based on what they see and not what they hear.

Anyways - vent over