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This one's for you, Bark or What Happens to Teens Who Don't Bathe

ChiefGrownup's picture

This happened a couple weeks ago. Just posting now.

DH calls me in the middle of the work day, he's heading to the hospital to meet BM who has fetched SD15 from school with dramatic abdominal pain, pallor, overall intense misery.

Next call he's at the ER, confirms the girl looks terrible, close to passing out, clearly in great pain.

So we're all freaking out, of course. The school nurse thought it might be an ovarian cyst. But so many other possibilities from appendicitis to kidney stones to ectopic pregnancy to who knows? Most of these are life threatening. Big stress for all of us.

By the end of the day, what's the dx? Massive UTI. Bleeding into the bladder.

SM sits back and breathes, knowing UTI is easily treated. SM also screams the silent scream of evil knowing that UTI is pretty much guaranteed to girls who don't change their panties all weekend (and who knows beyond?), brag about never showering, and have endless let's not go into the details here refusals to do proper lady monthly hygiene.

Bark, show this one to your dh. If he wants his daughter to go through this, keep her on the track she is. She's just a kid, right? Who cares about her hygiene? Um, parents who don't want their daughters to suffer the malaise and pain of a long term UTI that gets this bad and who don't want to see their daughter on IV antibiotics in a hospital bed, that's who.

SD15 is ok now. But it was very painful and terrifying for her and she had to undergo procedures she was too young for. But I sure hope all those dirty panties etc were worth it.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Yeah, sd15 has been going with the same boy for nearly a year now. He is 17. Nobody knows what goes on between them except those two. During those long hours in the hospital, my head was racing. It could very well be the honeymoon cystitis. But she claims not. Personally, I think she's too lazy to do the wild thing. She's filthy enough to cause this all on her very own.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Thanks for the tribute, Chief! It's "Moon" but you can call me "Bark," because that's all they do to me around here is bark at me!

SD13 just got out of the shower, ironically. I think she has taken 5 showers this week and is getting on track......EXCEPT for one thing.

Anyone ever use Ivory soap? Its so pure it doesn't last for more than a week (the bar soap). DH gave SD13 Ivory soap over two weeks ago (at my urging so she could get into those dark places....) }:) and she is still on the first "bar." She has little pieces of it spread out like Minecraft on her soapdish, about 1-inch square each.

HOW in the name of whatever God you pray to does a skid get clean using a tiny piece of soap?!

Answer is......She DOESN'T!

Going through some heavy shit with DH right now, just posted a new blog tonight, so I hope you guys will chime in and help!

Thanks for the blog and the laugh! I can really use it tonight!

~ Moon

FrackturedBradyBunch's picture

OMG! What is with these SKIDS, mine do the same....spend goodness knows how long breaking up the soap into pieces but never actually using it.

Ever seen a totally desert dry cracked toothbrush or 3, have those also...

ChiefGrownup's picture

Moon, yes, that does make more sense. But barking sounds lovely to me, love the doggies!

I saw your other post and commented. Very sorry. But when you guys are in a bit better place I hope you do tell him what happened to my anti-bathing sd.

Except, wait, what got into yours? Why is she bathing all of the sudden?

ChiefGrownup's picture

Yup. The nearsightedness is astounding. You know she had to have it for a long time for it to get this bad. Who knows what damage was done. Wonder if this episode will come back to bite her when she's middle aged.

I once remarked to DH that she'll likely be diabetic at some point in adult life. He seemed shocked. I said, well, with 2 grandmothers who are diabetic and the terrible eating habits she's developing now, what do you think? I did not mention that her greatest form of exercise involves fingers on a keyboard, too.

That conversation notwithstanding, she still is allowed to eat non-stop junk and play non stop video games. Although he does nag her to eat breakfast and lunch. No matter that it turns out to be ramen all the time.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

SD13 might be bathing because I told her point blank to her face "You stink! Not B.O. stink, that will come later, but you smell like an old sock!"

Said it to her right in front of DH at dinner last week.

I had my first real whiff of her that day because I got too close and forgot to exhale as we walked past each other.

~ Moon

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Lmao }:)

ChiefGrownup's picture

Yes, they can. But when you're 15 and never bathe, change panties, or your used lady items every month, probably not sexually active, let's not go looking for zebras, shall we?

The first thing on the list that the doc's give out for prevention of UTI is: HYGIENE.

Pretty sure you're not recommending teen girls never change their panties, bathe, or get their lady products regularly changed out because it doesn't really matter, right? Because there IS a reason we all DO bathe and change. Trips to the ER for UTIs is one of them.

ChiefGrownup's picture

It was MASSIVE. Bleeding into the bladder. That did not happen over night. She may have had it for months or years before it got to that point. As you yourself have pointed out, she may not have recognized any other symptom until that day. You do not require intravenous anti-biotics overnight unless it's ebola or meningitis or something. A "fresh" UTI can be treated w/o a trip to the hospital. Only one that has gone unchecked for a long time will require the IV.

ChiefGrownup's picture

"Can urinary tract infections be prevented?

There are some steps you can take to reduce your risk of developing a urinary tract infection:

Follow good hygiene practices of the genital area (especially women)."

Your doc examined you and questioned you and came up with that advice. My sd15 was not his patient.

FrackturedBradyBunch's picture

LOL....way too much information in this post....

Don't really understand how you get a UTI from anal though....it's not like your bum hole and urethra are connected...unless...well, lets not mention that option yea?

FrackturedBradyBunch's picture

LOL....way too much information in this post....

Don't really understand how you get a UTI from anal though....it's not like your bum hole and urethra are connected...unless...well, lets not mention that option yea?

mom2futuresuperhero's picture

So which is worse admitting you haven't properly cleaned your hinder regions or you have used your exit hinder region as an entrance not an exit and ended up with an UTI. Apples and Oranges. SD wash your thang and change your feminine hygiene products regularly. Not rocket science.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

SD13 showered earlier but is back in the same clothes/ pajamas that she's worn all weekend. I went downstairs earlier and she was eating dinner in the DARK. Not one light on inside or out. WTF? Made me jump as I went into the kitchen because I could see her silhouette and then I turned the light on!

I am having the BEST night! KoolAid anyone? :O

~ Moon

ChiefGrownup's picture

Those are good details, thanks. I never heard of the baking soda thing.

Didn't know about it reaching the heart. Seems like SD was in more danger than I knew. The pain she felt was a blessing in disguise.

Can't say one way or the other if she's sexually active. I do think odds are against it. Many of her personality traits argue against it and the way she generally spends her time does, too. She talks a lot about hating babies and kids and she's smart enough to know where they come from without any stupid teen illusions yet she has made no effort to ask for or seek birth control. Or alone time with her bf. Outside of school they only see each other about once every 4-6 weeks in a group activity.

Ha! Not to mention we read the over the top love letter her wrote to her for Christmas and there were no suspicious lines in there alluding to private intimacies.

On the flip said, they have been together almost a year now and we all know that genie won't stay in the bottle forever when two people are together for a considerable amount of time.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

SD13 holds it all day, esp if it's #2. She doesn't want anyone to hear her at the school (or smell...?). She's already been accused of being a boy in the girls room by some 6th graders who didn't know her. This was last fall. She replied, "I AM a girl!" Maybe there's hope even though she identifies as a boy......FML

But she DOES hold it until she gets home and then blows up the powder room. I never go in there anymore. EVER.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Well, I'd love it if you would come to my house and deploy them. Just swoop in and take charge. I would love that. No drama between me and DH. Just a masked marauder flying about burning old panties and shoving kids in the shower. I. love. this. vision.

Rags's picture

Sounds like the toxic shock syndrome issues that flew around in the early to mid 80's with a particular brand of tampon being left in too long by young ladies.

Kinda nasty.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Wait for it, Rags..........

"I forgot........" The frikkin answer to everything!

~ Moon

Rags's picture

Grrrrr!!! "I forgot" and "I don't know" are the two default mindless bullshit excuses that make my teeth hurt.

ChiefGrownup's picture

And that's why you are the competent, self-actualized, and successful person today. Big tip-o-the-hat to notasm's parents.

bibleofdreams's picture

sorry to bump but add my SD to the ranks of non-bathers getting UTIs. Its making her vomit more than anything though its pretty frigging horrible

ChiefGrownup's picture

"Friggin' horrible" is a good way to describe it!

Dh and I talked about it again this week and last night I heard him telling her that if he found her asleep in her clothes he would yank the sheet out from under her. I know this is because of our talk and how we both said we observed she was not changing panties all weekend. So he's following through.

He also said he would make her shower while she's here. She stopped showering here at all about 2 years ago. He has seen the error of allowing that. She's here every single weekend and we knew she was barely showering at BM's, too. Such. Bad. Habits. Took a hospital scare to get their attention.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

SD13 still does not smell like soap when she gets out of the shower. Ever. I need to go do a stock check on the bars of Ivory soap.

LOL

~ Moon

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I could put the nuclear Dawn Dish Soap up there. The new kind in the silver bottle. It says that in "three minutes, remove grease just like soaking overnight."

Bwahahahahaha!!

DH went out of town this morning on business, too. Crap.

~ Moon