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Choosing battles wisely

SweetMom's picture

I set us up a weeks vacation thinking it will only be DH, SD11, my son, and I. Looks like it's been arranged by my husband that sd half sister BM other daughter is coming ( the trouble making BITCH.) I really don't want this bitch to come but sd doesn't want to be alone and wants her sister there. Last time she came she stirred the f'ing pot, always BM eyes and ears and gives tours of our time through FaceTime on her cell phone. DH said he sat her down and told her no phone, and no bs. It's always gonna be some type of shit to ruin a wet dream when you got a skid and their other halts involved. Besides me dreading that, this weekend was great. We got out of the car and sd jumps Infront of me and grabs DH arm right Infront of me, not the other side. He tells her that he loves her but she is to old for that and she is growing up now ( she's taller than me.) He grabs my hand and we walj holding hands. She also started talking about her BM . The first she done it he let her have one but 30 minutes later she started saying my mom. He stopped her In Sentence and said he doesn't want to know what her moms doing. He said if it's something she thinks he really needs to know then she can tell him but little petty shit that he rather not hear it because she doesn't run in our circle. It was great, she was quiet the entire time and when she got out of her pouting stage she started asking 1,000 questions about cars and how engines worked, shit DH is Into mostly In his spare time from work. I've remained calm and been choosing my battles wisely and getting the right words to express my feelings with the help of ST. I'm thankful I've found this site. Not looking forward to spring break vacation but that's life. You win Some and loose some.

SugarSpice's picture

its all about strategy. some people thing leaving a bad marriage is good advice, but one should not be too hasty when one has been married a long time. leaving takes careful strategy.

likewise it is important as you say to choose your battles. small ones can be lost. the idea is to win the war.

Rags's picture

I chose to fight them all. Mostly I won because my bride and I remained on the same page for the most part.

Not necessarily the calmest path to choose but it worked for me.

ownpersonalopinion1's picture

I'd have a problem putting up bad behavior and spending money on a child that has no ties to you or you husband at all. The SD can spend all the time she wants with her half sister at their BMs. Why is this ex step kid even involved with your family?

SweetMom's picture

The half sister hasn't been coming because we had to put her in her shoes and tell her that the world didn't revolve around her in our home. She quit coming because she gets her way all the time and at the other home. The reason why I allowed her to come in the first place was that h insisted because he didn't want her only sister at the time resenting her or vice versa but he realized real quick he couldn't control favortism in some one else's home with some one else's kid. The kid started calling him Daddddyyyyy in the fakest ass way but disrespected him. She tried the quilt trip saying her mom tried to introduce her to her real daddy in Walmart but he ignored her. The other step dad at the time was going to be the man to walk her down the isle but then he left the BM. H isn't going to let her put him In a place that makes him look like the bad guy towards his bio daughter. He is basically being a mentor he said and keeping the piece so he isn't in court every month with his x. It's a win loose situation. The little bitch, (yes she is a bitch) is very smart. I have tried to like her but the moment she said she was glad and my unborn never existed because I had a miscarriage. Also when I tried to include her from the beginning of our wedding and she started crying on my happy day because HER BM was sad. I have won for a short time by her not coming and ME being happy but sd11 keeps questioning why her sister can't come. It's a choose battles. That's why she is coming this time, maybe not next. Maybe he will keep SD11 occupied and out of daddy's lap and do what little girls do and that's play, fix each others hair, tan, swim , associate with other little girls and keep out of our hair.