I'm going to explode
I've really, really been trying to detach where my SS is concerned. I have failed this weekend. I came home from the store and my husband had 3 children vacuuming and cleaning (my 2 and 1 of his) but the King SS was in the shower. I asked, calmly, if everyone was going to contribute to the chores and husband looked sheepish. After an hour I really started to lose it. SS was in the playroom on his omnipresent iphone and I let my husband have it. He claimed "all the chores were done"...which is NEVER true in our house. I said the fireplace needed to be cleaned and he said, "Well, go tell him." I snapped. "It's not MY JOB. You are evidently too scared to tell your own child to DO SOMETHING." It wasn't pretty.
Now the little prince is, indeed, cleaning out the fireplace - the first chore he's ever had to do, I think, and husband & I are not speaking. WHY IS THIS CHILD TREATED LIKE A PRINCE? His grades are terrible, he lies about homework, he lies about washing his hair/brushing his teeth, has no friends, and is a bully to my kids. HOW IS TREATING HIM LIKE A PRINCE DOING HIM ANY FAVORS?????????? I'm so frustrated I could scream.
The prince is almost 13. I
The prince is almost 13. I do not have any clue as to why my DH is so reluctant to discipline this child. He certainly has no hesitation telling off my kids! I've had a thought that maybe he secretly find his own son as revolting as I do, and he feels guilty about it. The kid is really, really off-putting. I have recently found that I could manage the weekend with him as long as I NEVER look directly at him. He's so wretched...I have actually gagged at the sight of him before. It makes me feel like a terrible person, to be sure...I wish I could find it in my heart to feel compassion for him. But when he inflicts his misery on MY children and spreads his stink in MY house, it's hard to do!
My kids have devices, but
My kids have devices, but only wi-fi through the house. No phone service. So whenever I want them off, I just unplug the router which is in my bedroom. If they have chores to do and I have to leave the house, I take the cord with me so they can't plug it back in. When they did have phone service, I would text them pics of things they needed to fix. If they left dishes in the sink, I'd send them a pic. Clothes on the bathroom floor, send a pic. It stopped a lot of bitching LOL.
My guess is that this particular child is more difficult and he doesn't know how to deal with it. Anyone can parent an easy child. It's the harder ones that cause problems. Mine got hard at 12 and 13, which is typical. I'm about to lose it almost daily. But because I don't let them get by with stuff; that would be easy!
Time to immediately grab all
Time to immediately grab all of the other kids and take them out for a special dinner each and every time you see DH letting the pampered prince not pull his weight. As you load the car turn to DH and say - I am rewarding the responsible kids who contribute witha special meal and I will each and every time I see you letting toxi-spawn get away with not contributing while the other kids are doing their chores. I will stop the chores, load the car, and all of us with the exception of you and the toxi-spawn prince will have a nice time and you and the prince will rue the evening that the rest of the kids and I come home to anything other than a spotless home with all chores completed.
Zip it, don't say a word to me about it, go deal with the problem. The of our kids will not be your toxic kid's chore bitches.
Then drive off with a smile while the good kids excitedly tell you where they want to go.
Have fun.
Thanks, sueu2, for the
Thanks, sueu2, for the thoughtful comments. I don't agree with everything you said, but I certainly appreciate the thorough response.