It's the teacher's fault???!!!???
SD16 is failing at least half her courses this semester. She is already 3 classes behind from grades 9 and 10. DH has decided to take the passive (ie lazy) approach to parenting. He does not ask about school, does not enforce homework when she's here. Says he is done sounding like a broken record and will no longer talk to her about school.
She and DH are watching the movie 'Here Comes the Boom'. SD16 says, 'if all my teachers were like that I would do better in school'. DH agrees. 'teachers are failing their students. They are too wrapped up in teaching and not interested in kids.'
:jawdrop:
I work in a school. While, sure, some teachers are not as engaged as others, once kids are a certain age it is up to them to do what needs to be done to pass. As I type this the two Einsteins in my life are now teacher bashing in front of me. I know this is going to lead to her calling us this week with her exam results and I will bet my paycheque that she will blame the teachers for failing and DH will go along with it instead of actually parenting her.
Before anyone asks...no, she does not have a learning disability. She is actually very bright. If she doesn't like a subject she just doesn't apply herself. She is disruptive in class and talks back to the teachers. DH and BM's reaction? Not at damn thing.
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Yes, this sickens me and I
Yes, this sickens me and I get a taste of it at my house, too. I would like to know exactly what "too wrapped up in teaching" means? Does your dh speak English? Does he know what the word teaching means? Good grief.
Thank god my husband has not gone this far. He has actually stepped up to the plate and is doing a lot more and is the only person keeping SD15 from actually dropping out of school at this point. Even so, he will drop in little complaints like "oh, the French teacher doesn't keep the website updated so I don't find out about missing assignments until it's too late." So it's the teacher's fault for not updating a tool that was not available to any parent at all until a few years ago? It's not maybe the fault of the person sitting in that class day after day ignoring the teacher and not caring and deliberately not doing a single bit of the homework? Really?! It's not the fault of the parents who failed to instill a sense of pride, of work ethic, of goal reaching, of curiosity, of courtesy in the child?
But your dh takes the cake. I'm sorry, that is sickening and I'm sorry for you that you have to sit through it. Leave the house. Go to a museum and enjoy your well disciplined intellect for the day. And make sure your dh knows you are not going to support a failure to launch sd till she's 35 and beyond.
The most frustrating part is
The most frustrating part is DH used to make her take school seriously. He gave up on her. There's no other way to put it. She has perfected blaming everyone for her mistakes and taking zero responsibility for herself. For a while I was the only one (she has a BM and stepfather as well as DH) that would actually sit with her and help with homework. When I wouldn't give her the answers to her homework, she said she didn't want my help anymore. Fine. I told DH that and he said it was her responsibility from now on.
It pains me to watch a otherwise bright child piss her life away and otherwise good man be a passive parent. But I didn't create this mess so I refuse to clean it up.
I can see the headline now,
I can see the headline now, "Sycophant Father ruins Teen Daughter."
How utterly disrespectful to you, and in your own home, too. SMDH
I never assume what's in my
I never assume what's in my DH's brain but I think he meant he thinks teachers should make learning more fun. In the past I've tried to explain that once kids get to high school, they have to learn the world is not 'fun'. Teacher's are there to teach. Parents are there to get their children ready for the next steps in their life. Students are responsible for doing their part. If a kid decides not to put the effort in, the fault lies right there. Parents can push, threaten, yell all they want but none of that matters if the work isn't done.
It's sad that this generation of kids have been raised to not be held accountable for their actions. They have no ability to see that what they do or don't do now affects their future. SD16 is in for a hard lesson, unless of course BM and DH keep bailing her out. The most frustrating part? DH sees it, but is too afraid to put his foot down. She dangles her love and attention over him like a carrot on a string. She doesn't pull that shit with me. Why? Because I called her on it. She knows I have zero tolerance for manipulation in my home. DH is desperate for her and I to have a better relationship. I think mostely because he doesn't know how to deal with her. I have said for the last 2 years I will to be happy to when she shows genuine effort. She hasn't and I'm not losing sleep over it.
My OSS (in his senior yr in
My OSS (in his senior yr in H/School) got to the 2nd to last month and found out it was VERY unlikely he would graduate with his buds. He was failing English. His mother swooped in and reported back that he had a "personality conflict with his English teacher and she hated him". DH was somewhat in agreeance with this seeing he had a few teachers who hated him. ... Until I pointed out he had not attended more than 2 English classes all year as he was missing his first class every morning which was ta da! ENGLISH! (as we later found out, he was getting high before school). So dear DH, please tell me how he managed to have such a dreadful relationship with a teacher he only saw TWICE for a total of less than 2 hrs his entire year? I mean, how did they have such a tortuous relationship for an entire YEAR and no one picked up on it until now? And seeing both his parents saw his report card (but they never ever discussed anything because they cannot stand each other) and the number of tardies or non-attendances was astronomical and gave one thought that MAYBE there was a problem here?
This is what happens when you trust your child unconditionally.
It's too easy to blame others
It's too easy to blame others for their failures. The troll has blamed the school and teachers before too. Thankfully, DH doesn't.