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For Tommar

a_nessy_life's picture

First, I'm deeply saddened for you and your family in this rough time. Life brings joy and sorrow. It's not for the weak. I wanted to share one of my life moments and I hope that something similar and comforting happens for you.

Be warned, first it's all badness and sadness. Before my first year my father (navy) , mother, sister (10), sister (5) and GrandPaPa ...oh, me too, were traveling to Father's next base. I was with older sis and Father. Mother was driving with GrandPaPa and younger sis. She has a seizure and the vehicle flipped a couple of times. GrandPaPa was injured to the extent that he was forced to retire. Mother and Sis didn't make it. They are buried together with matching headstones. Other life changes happened but the other main points are that GrandPaPa died from the effects of smoking when I was 19 and Gramma died a couple of months later. I believe from a broken heart, in reality her health had been fragile for a long time. At 25 father died in a work related incident. Sis and I have been alone for a long time.

Maternal family stories were that Mother and Father used great-grandma's floral wedding band for her ring when they married in a civil ceremony. After the accident the ring was last seen when her belongings were handed to Father. He was sent overseas within 6 months and Mother's few things that he hadn't given to charity were stored at her parents. Father insisted that he didn't know where the ring was, he had placed it in her pink cosmetic case along with other items and it wasn't there when he looked later. It was reportedly very small so perhaps it fell out. As I grew up I recall playing with that case using it as a Barbie carrier. I forgot about it as I got older.
After my grandparents died, an Uncle kept some of their items. I still have my Gramma's glasses in a curio, my GrandPaPa's bible and nothing else. Two years ago my Uncle passed. He never had children. A cousin was his executor. He handed me some old family pictures, my parents marriage certificate and that pink make up case. I shoved it all back in to the depth of my closet.
A year ago my sis emailed me asking for me to scan the marriage certificate and pics for her. When I opened the case The mirror was lopsided in its holder. When I moved it around I felt a lump under the fabric. Pulling it aside, there was a tiny platinum worn as sin floral band. I'm wearing it right now. Matter of fact, I seldom take it off. It fits my left hand ring finger perfectly.
Such a long story, but I hope that your Mom sends you comfort. Look for the signs, as crazy as it sounds, I believe that things are left behind to find us and comfort us. Bless you, Tommar.

Comments

a_nessy_life's picture

Thank you.

Four years ago my DH and I stopped by to visit my uncle. He was a recluse. Uncle spoke of my deceased father and of how Father gave away all of Mother's clothing and jewelry to women he dated after her death. Uncle was still bitter and mentioned again the old family ring. Uncle had it in his possession all that time. Sad.

Enjoy your memories of a great and patient Stepmom!

No saint's picture

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