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Question: what qualifies you as a single Mom?

mrs.g's picture

Submitted by mrs.g on Thu, 01/29/2015 - 8:53pm

This is not SS related. I just have to ask because personally I think it's ridiculous but maybe i just don't like the woman so it makes everything she does ridiculous. She has a baby that was seized by the child protective services. She lives with her boyfriend (not babys dad) who has a very well paying job. She does not work. She has rallied in our town saying she is a "single mom" asking for donations of clothing and cribs, high chairs, gift certificates for grocery stores in town. SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE THE BABY OUT OF THE FOSTER HOME! The baby has everything he needs at the foster home and she has been told that if he does go back to her, she will get all the stuff the foster family has bought for him. She needs nothing! Is this okay?!?!
I tried telling the people helping her out and givin g her money and stuff about the situation but they think im "being mean to a woman in need"

AM I MISSING SOMETHING?!

Comments

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Thu, 01/29/2015 - 9:13pm

OMG - do people seriously have the balls to do that?

BEG for baby stuff?

Fuck me I've heard it all now..... I am appalled. I mean - if her house burnt down and she lost everything - ok. If she was beaten by her partner and had to leave and lost everything - fair enough.

But - "I had a baby and can't afford to buy it stuff!"

Seriously???? I've heard it all now.

People have NO pride.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Thu, 01/29/2015 - 11:07pm

Let me know when you find out! BM used to post stuff all the time about the struggles of being a "single mother" when 1. She only has SS3 for 8 days of the month so her mothering should hardly be a struggle and 2. For the last two years she's been in a 6-weeks-on/1-week-off relationship with Babydaddy#2. The last time she posted her poison, Babydaddy#2 commented back something about he didn't know she was single. It's the eternal victim card and its overplayed

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Fri, 01/30/2015 - 7:34am

A single parent is a parent who isn't married.

Some single parents do it all on their own, some have help. The woman in the OP is just a loon.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Fri, 01/30/2015 - 11:18am

I lived with my exDF for 5 1/2 years. I considered myself a SM. However, since I wasn't married,(thank goodness I kept putting that off) many would say I wasn't.

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Fri, 01/30/2015 - 7:59am

I don't know. I tend to think a single parent is one who doesn't have the other parent in the picture (for support, sick doctors visits, etc). If you're divorced you're just divorced, not a single parent IMHO. Unless the other parent is MiA.

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Fri, 01/30/2015 - 9:26am

Yeah I get its a contentious topic. But OP asked for opinions. To me the word "single" means only, as in only parent. It's got nothing to do with your marital status.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Sat, 01/31/2015 - 12:36am

Ahhh - I see what you mean - but to me the word "single" in this context means unmarried - as in married person or single person.

Not as in "only"

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Fri, 01/30/2015 - 11:30am

I fit into all of those definitions when my son was growing up. ExDF is the only man I ever lived with and we didn’t' move in together until my son was a freshmen in college.

There are many here who say I wasn't a single mother because my son's dad paid CS and was involved in his life. :?

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Fri, 01/30/2015 - 9:53am

Ok I don't know what definition you are referring to. Its not like it's in the Oxford English Dictionary. It's a societal concept, and I think it's meant different things over time. Originally I think it meant women whose spouses had died or who (gasp) had children out of wedlock. I guess marital status wise one was a widow and one single. It's a term meant to evoke pity in the listener. It implies a general lack of support, both in money and in help. Over time I think divorced women whose ex-husbands were very much in the picture started using it. I think this represents a change in definition from how it was originally understood. I also think it's a not so subtle dig at Dad, an insinuation that he isn't really in the picture.

I Got pregnant very young, father not in the picture. But I've never referred to myself as a single mother because frankly I'm not interested in anyone's pity.

I agree that women are toughest on other women. But why are women so quick to try to invoke pity in others? Why is it so important that any divorced woman be able to label herself a single mother? I just don't get it.