How much do I take of BM's manipulation?

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So, we buy mobile phones for SD 15 and SD 11 as they have been asking forever and BM just switches off her phone or does not answer when DH calls to speak to them. They spend the first weekend with Skids in a long time and give them the phones and make them sign I will not do this and that contract so that they know and understand the responsibilies of a phone. BM rocks up during dinner to fetch the kids. Then she SMS us later to say that we irresponsible and did not consult her now there is porn onSD11 phone? So we say right we coming over to fetch the phones, and she switches off all the phones and does not respond. They just moved that weekend and so we do t know where they are living. Completely ridiculous. What's the right thing to do now?

Are you on a provider that

Are you on a provider that allows you to control the phones? Like turn off all access to everything? I would be making sure that BM isn't using the phone for herself, so that she can not have to pay her own bill. Lock it down if you can, only allowing your numbers to make or receive calls from the phones. If the kids were really doing bad things with the phones, that would also take care of that problem.

That is another reason I check HHB's usage...want to make sure that our bill isn't being run up. HHB has no data access on her phone, and we have unlimited texts and minutes, so I don't have to worry there.

I can either lock it

I can either lock it completely or not at all

I can put a block on the

I can put a block on the internet which restricts age restricted sites

Of course, you have to wonder

Of course, you have to wonder if there really was porn on the phone. I know our BM tends to lie about things or blow things out of proportion by adding her own drama to it. HHB learned from the expert of deceit and manipulation! It could very well be that she didn't like that OP's DH got the kids phones and she didn't...it can be really competitive between ex's sometimes. I know it used to seem like a war at birthdays and Christmas with HHB...BM and DH always wanted to out-do the other on the big gift so that they could be the child's favorite! HHB picked up on it quick, and started playing them. If one said no, she would beg the other...like the saber this Christmas. DH wouldn't get it for her, so she sweet-talked BM into it. Thankfully, the way HHB has been treating DH and he is finally seeing her true colors, he is no longer concerned about beating out BM with gifts! Usually, by this time, DH starts asking me what we can do for HHB's birthday (which is first week of March). He hasn't even mentioned her birthday! She will probably be lucky to get a gift card this year.