Projection???? Stereotypes?
How much do you project your experience from the skids, BM, step life, etc on to other people?
Because your skids are assholes and jerks, you assume that all COD are the same way.
Because BM is a whore, greedy bitch, you assume that all BMs are this way. (of course if you are a BM with a kid with your SO, this doesnt apply to you ;-))
Because you are a SM, you feel for all SMs and dont think they can do any wrong.
I think that our experiences obviously affect how we feel about people and situations.
If we got bit by a dog when we were little, this may put us off to all dogs.
Do you feel that you project?
Do you think making an overall assumption about COD or BM or SM is fair? How does this affect you in your day to day life and dealing with people?
Do you think that making a projection is the same as making a stereotype or being racist/sexist, etc.
Do your views/dealings with BM, skids cloud your judgement on other BMs or skids? Or just kids in general?
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My DH is the same! Because
My DH is the same! Because of BM1 (just a fling), BM2 (dated but never married) and his ExGF directly prior to me, DH sometimes projects their shitty behavior on me. I am NOTHING like any of them!
Although I admit that I tend to do the same with DH. My ExH cheated on me, and it really rocked me to the core. When DH and I were first dating, I didn't trust ANYTHING he did, and he would get pissed because he never DID anything! lol But because I felt like I got royally duped by ExH by being too trusting and naïve, I go to the way opposite extreme with DH.
I don't feel that I project;
I don't feel that I project; I have known plenty of step families that have worked out just fine.
My SD is not an asshole, she is just very immature and dependent on BM and believes everything she says. Plenty of children of divorce are well behaved, respectful, smart kids. Plenty of kids from intact families are ill behaved assholes.
I know that there are normal women who are BMs (our BM is not one of them), just as there are crazy women who are step mothers. The title alone means nothing.
I do not give SMs the benefit of the doubt just because they are SMs. I know how I have been as a step mother (not perfect but not horrible) but I also know, through experience, that there are women who should not be with a man who has children.
I believe all kids are
I believe all kids are inherently lazy, selfish, and greedy. It's what and how their parents choose to work with that is what determines a great kid or not. If you've got guilty divorced mom and dad letting themselves be manipulated by kids, then you're going to have entitled pricks. I just think poor parenting happens most often to COD's.
Exactly the point I used to try and make with DH about SD16. SD16 was A LOT like I was as a teenager. Sure I was lazy, sure I lied, sure I manipulated, BUT the difference is there were CONSEQUENCES when I did these things. With SD it was just EXCUSES... Oh she doesn't know any better, BM1 and the clan fucked her up, she's just a "normal" teenager, blah blah, boo frickety hoo.
I have responded to some
I have responded to some situations with an opinion/recommendation that probably wasn't warranted because I expect ALL the baby mamas to be bat shit crazy. I tend to forget that if all adults are MATURE, they CAN work together with a minimum of drama and without harming the children.