DH filled with guilt
I feel very badly for DH. He HAS contacted the attorney to begin emancipation of his daughter when she graduates college in May. He believes that ex will fight it just to screw him over some more. I don't think so, she has a new job, lives in a new part of the country, etc. She used to send him numerous taunting letters, but they stopped several years ago when she got a big job promotion.
What is eating him up is the lack of relationship with his daughters. He called the youngest about her college bill to him, she ended up hanging up on him, but taunted him by saying that the time she was most happy was when she was in the Middle East last year on semesters abroad. She had told him several months ago that likely she is going to apply to grad school, but defer admission for a year and get a job. He and I both believe she is going to go back to the Middle East in May.......a very unwise decision based on world events...
If that happens, I think DH will be beside himself. Lately he has been depressed and feeling guilty. How did he wind up being scorned by his children?
I did tell him that if his ex fights the emancipation, it is not worth paying massive amts legal fees to save a few thousand dollars. He has done that in the past.......he will not listen.
But again , how can anyone make the case that a college graduate still needs child support?
It really is a crime that one needs to jump through hoops to emancipate a college grad. But the lawyers and judges obviously don't want the system to change.
Well if his ex raises an
Well if his ex raises an issue with it, say she claims that SD is still going to be a grad student and needs financial support, the lawyers will be happy to oblige. I saw dh spend thousands to fight over crazy stuff like cell phones, that clearly were covered by child support. My only thought right now is that ex moved and no longer has her friend, who gave her free legal services. That is critical for dh. But again, he feels terrible about the loss of his daughters. It is really hitting him right now....I guess he sees emancipation as the end of any contact. Which in truth it will be. They likely will be lost to him.....
wNew andimproved, We need to
wNew andimproved, We need to go out and have our husbands meet each other so that they could commiserate. They are dealing with same sets of issues, same sets of disgusting, entitled skids.. who are lost to their fathers ( and thank god for that - they are as disturbed as the psychopaths who gave birth to them, but that's another thread).
I feel your DH's and my DH's pain but i have to say, they RAISED these bitches. They had a hand in how they turned out. Yes, these dads were treated as ATMs and kicked around by their wives but they ALLOWED it. They were fine never getting the respect they deserved and they did not ask for it. I guess this markes my transition from being mad at horrible skids and BMs to being mad at my DH - i will blog about that. Yours should try therapy or read up on alienated adult kids. Amy Baker consults, btw, with parents like him, and pursuing that avenue could be money well spent. She coaches parents who want to restore the relationship with kids who treat tham as dirt. Masochists of all stripes must flock to her office....
"they RAISED these bitches.
"they RAISED these bitches. They had a hand in how they turned out. Yes, these dads were treated as ATMs and kicked around by their wives but they ALLOWED it."
^^^Yup. They keep handing out the money while the kids dangle little bits of affection to keep it coming. Sad sick codependent cycle. DH just needs to stop chasing after their affection. I hope he's able to stop being forced by law to be the ATM. Our court system is disgusting that it punishes divorced parents this way.
You are so right. They do
You are so right. They do what they know they can get away with. His oldest daughter has refused to make payments on a loan he co signed. She refused any contact with him, no explanation. That was 4 months ago! What has been his response, other than to be making the payments? Nothing.......at the very least I would have sent her a letter informing her she could consider this loan her only inheritance she will ever get from him, and then I would file it with my attorney.
My DH is super kind, and that is his curse as well. He allows others to take advantage of him by his inability to get angry. I really think that is a serious issue for him. Maybe he fears loss of control?
These women know exactly whose sperm they want to mix with their great genes! I have seen it happen with dh ex's family. Beautiful seducers, but serious birth defects.......namely, heart, empathy, compassion!!!
bm gave absolutely no money
bm gave absolutely no money to the skids when the left high school. they then moved to our town to live with their father, the one they tormented and ignored while growing up. then they thought they owned the house.
Wow Stepaside, great insight!
Wow Stepaside, great insight! You nailed it.....he never ever has given them feedback about their utterly cruel behavior. I personally think the oldest who through him under the bus for 34 bucks a month...student loan.....is gone. She will get a rich dude to marry her and most importantly, pay her bills. She will make some babies to ensure the gravy train continues for years. Her mother and aunts went that route.
The younger one? I feel she is deeply troubled, and yet is the one who all along wanted a relationship with her father.....but there could not be any other woman in his life.
My dh? I DO see some reasons they hate him.....he is a workaholic, and controlling in that he does EVERYTHING for you. Case in point....big snowstorm recently. My kids and I shoveled out the whole property. Dh came home from a trip, and immediately spent 2 hours shoveling to his liking. I knew he would! I stayed inside and realized that is how he shows his love and caring. But it is not easy. Yet he is very kind.
I hope the emancipation goes quickly and without a fight. I can't imagine fighting over a college graduate getting child support!