Your DH friends and SKIDS (rant)
Since I have married, his friends has become mine and mine just disappeared because I spend all my time with my DH. I have found myself venting to two of his friends significant other because I figure they are female like me so Girl to Girl conversation. One of them just listens but the other one is always not agreeing with me or making an excuse for my DH rude ass daughter. She has two girls of her own and I never had girls in the past except my niece shortly so I try to get a understanding. Since I have been on this site (step talk), it makes me feel not so alone. Why is this girl have to bash everything I say? She says, girls are just messy, sisters whispers and are rude or let then talk and text their mom all day when she is with you, so. When my sd or her sister is with my husband and I in the car we don't like their mom being put on speaker phone and hear all about what great things she is doing. I have told Dh if they want to spend time with her then take them back home. It's just rude to me with anyone if you are visiting them to be on the phone or texting someone else. I'm starting to think this girls advice sucks because she doesn't like me. I really don't want to go over there anymore but my Dh says I'm running his friends away. Slowly, maybe I am and loosing me because being a hermit fits me lately ;/
Quit venting to her and vent
Quit venting to her and vent her instead.
Say what?!
:jawdrop: Say what?!
yucking it up means having a
yucking it up means having a great old time, lots of laughs.... nothing dirty LMAO
Stop venting to her. And
Stop venting to her. And maybe reconnect with your friends.
Just because she's a friend,
Just because she's a friend, doesn't mean she has to agree with you. Her life experiences may be very different from yours. Those experiences will shape her opinions. Not saying what you want to hear, doesn't mean she dislikes you.
It may be best to just stick to fluff topics with her.
Agree that you should
Agree that you should probably try venting here. These women you're currently venting to are the SOs of your DHs friends. They were friends with your DH prior to you and their "loyalties" are probably with him as well and they probably see your venting as attacks on their friend. Do you know if your conversations about SD are getting back to your DH?
Can you reconnect with your friends and why did you disconnect to begin with? To me it's always a bad sign when someone stops seeing their friends and/or family due to a new relationship. I may be wrong but is your DH controlling who you can see or not see?
Totally agree you need to
Totally agree you need to find your own friends. These women have ties to DH and to your skids outside of you. Forget for a minute that these women might like the skids and not appreciate you bashing them (or DH). They also have their own loyalty to the guy they're with. And you're putting them in a position of either telling that guy (whose loyalty is to DH, not you) what you said, or lying (by omission if nothing else) to their partner.
Vent here, stop venting to those women. It's going to bite you sooner or later.
Being an introvert is not a
Being an introvert is not a bad thing. Its how you energize. I would tell hubby that you will attend get together a week, month or about half of what you used to do. He is free to go solo the rest of the time. If he loves you, he will understand your need for quiet time. Afterall, you don't have to attend everything you are invited too.
When you are there. Keep your mouth shut. Be polite like you would to a co-worker but don't say anything more. Your happiness and lack of complaining will drive them nuts. They probably want you to be miserable and they like the fight. If they ask how things are going, say, "good" and smile. Don't give them any food to chew on. It will be your secret and it will drive them nuts.
Renew your friendships at least with the women whom you were so fond of. If they are true friends they will understand why you have not been around and it sounds like you can trust them.
++++This+++ You really do
++++This+++
You really do have to be careful who you vent to. It can come back and bite you in the buttock.
I really like this site too. For years I just felt alone in my feelings and then found Steptalk and finally realize I am not alone.
Get your old friends back.
Get your old friends back. Give DH time with his friends while you take time with your! In my case DH's friends were pretty much split 50/50 in his divorce, but the women are all still reporting back to BM. So to DHs friends he is miserably poor and I have to clip coupons and buy canned vegetables at the scratch and dent to eat... LOL
She will never be on your
She will never be on your side because her DH is your DH's bff. I learned this the hard way too. If he wants to go hang with his friends, then call up some of your friends and go have a wine and vent fest.
My DH ran off all my friends too. I wish I hadn't let that happen.
Yes, never trust anyone with
Yes, never trust anyone with your true feelings. It will most likely be used against you, and it is never forgotten.
My husbands friends, many of whom are still friends with his ex-wife as well, always try to pump me for information. They even try to bait me with "of those kids they are stinkers,I bet they drive you crazy." I always smile and say why no, they are lovely to me and I am fortunate to know them." That always shuts her up.
His friends that are still friends with both I wish we could just ignore. Whenever I talk about trying to find friends that are ours together, he protests. These friends are always polite, but they still make the barbs like above and make a point to talk about the past that I know nothing of… Now that I think of it, they actually do behave a bit like jealous step-kids….
Stop confiding in these people, and as other have said seek out your own people. Who needs his. Sometimes it is better to keep some things separate.
Bes tof luck!!!!
Me too. That's why we can't
Me too. That's why we can't have any friends together.some men are assholes and want everyone on their side, and thinking they are the nice guy married to a crazy bitch
I needed this vent and feed
I needed this vent and feed back more than you gals know. Thanks for your opinions on this. I will take the advice and wear my halo infront of his family and friends!