I'm 38 and only been living with my boyfriend now for 4 months but have been seeing him for almost a year. We started as a casual relationship. .my husband at the time cheated on me so our relationship fell apart and I worked with my now boyfriend who I used to lean on for support. He also would lean on me as he was living with an ex..the BM of his kids. We started as friends but things went further and we fell in love. I've honestly never been with anyone like him. .he really does complete me in every way. We're so much alike and we get along so well. The only problem is our past. .or his past rather. His ex..tho she moved on with another guy..hasn't really moved on. She doesn't even know me yet she's always lying and cursing out my bf or calling me names trying to turn the kids against me. She is a straight up bitch. At first she was jealous my bf moved on..now I think she just wants to destroy his life and our relationship. I can't even go to the kids sporting events bc she starts running her mouth. The kids play basketball at their church and just a couple weeks ago she yells down the bleachers at me that she had sex with my bf..of course this was when she still lived with him and we weren't officially together. She even went so far as to accuse him of raping her and filed charges..which were dropped bc it was so ridiculous. This was all in the beginning when we first got together. Oh and she claimed to be pregnant by him..anything to keep the control she had over him and take me out of the picture. It's been about 4 months and still she's causing problems. Now to the stepkids..which I'm not married to their father but we talk about it and I live with him so I feel like they r my stepkids. Anyway they r a girl 5 and boy 7. At first I thought I could handle being a step parent and pictured this as what I needed in my life. But longer I'm here the more distant I become with them. First problem he almost always caves in. They pretty much get their way on everything from what is being watched on tv..bc they can't ever watch in their rooms they always have to be with us..so Disney is always on..to what they eat. If they want pizza 4 times a week we get pizza. They refuse to eat anything but pizza..hotdogs..cooked rice or noodles..and for lunch a luncheable..the same kind every single day. They won't try anything else. If they want to do something we do it otherwise my bf and I do nothing together. That is unless it's something for the kids. We went on 2 dates before moVing in together and now we do nothing alone together unless it's watching TV when they go to bed. I've brought up to my bf that we never do anything together just us no kids..he has the kids half of the week but it's every day we have off together. I told him we need date nights and time away from the kids. We both work 12 hour shifts so we basically get up work and go to sleep after work so really we don't spend much time together the days we work. He said maybe once a month but I need more than that considering we never really "dated". This alone has put a strain on our relationship. I feel like a horrible person for wanting my own time away from the kids..they aren't bad kids just spoiled. It's just that my bf is very needy as well. .when the kids r here they r always in our face or yelling daddy every few minutes. They can't go out and play by themselves they always want him to go and they need the TV on Disney yet they r on their tablets almost constantly. He wants them to always be in our faces..always want them close..they never just go play outside or in their rooms. Up until recently one kid would sit on each side of him while we did watch tv..i felt like an outsider sitting by myself with my dog. I also guess I've never really been a kid person and the fact that they're not mine and a bit bratty with a father that gives them every single thing they want and an ex that always causes problems I guess it's all just getting to me. To top all that..tho I know a lot of step parents have it much worse than me..I am 3 months pregnant. I have mixed feelings about it bc I love my bf with all my heart but sometimes I wonder if he can love our child as much as these 2 kids. I do worry just bc he is completely consumed by them. Of course I have helped him see this some but it's still bad. Like they have basketball games on sat at 10am..we work 12 hrs all night until we get home around 8am. He wants to go to these games. .all of them weekly and expects me to. So no only have I worked 12 hours..I would only get 4-5 hours sleep and have to have words with the ex while being pregnant. Not to mention any kind of school function they want him to go to..no matter what or time he will go and want me to as well..even if we get no sleep. Sometimes i feel like he only cares about his kids and what they want then second his feelings and what he wants..nevermind what I want or how I feel or that I'm exhausted and pregnant. Most of the time he cares about me and is very attentive but when it comes to them he's consumed to the point where they r going to turn out brats. I tried so hard in the beginning to get close to them but now I think I'm trying to avoid them and the way he is with them. I feel like I can't discipline them bc they won't listen. They barely listen to him not that he disciplines them very much. I just feel like this is where I want to spend my life at times and other times I wanna run away and think I should have tried to prevent getting pregnant. I can't help but just wish I had met him before he had kids. I wish that all the time but feel guilty for it. I can't help but feel that I never come in first and I'm not a priority ever...which I think needs to happen especially at the beginning of a relationship. Every woman needs to be some sort of priority. I am a very feeling and emotional person and being pregnant has really made me go thru the emotions but to a certain extent I've felt this way for awhile. Most of the time I feel alone like I'm the only one going thru this. I have a really good friend I talk to but need someone going thru the same emotions to just talk to..so I don't feel so alone with this.