We haven't gotten to that age yet. I'm hoping DH shuts down that kind of behavior, but if he doesn't, I will be prepared for it.

All the time. SD19 tries to get attention by being the mini-wife and talking down to me like she's the adult. It's horribly disrespectful. She talks down to DH some, too, but he just stays mostly quiet. You know, so Princess can calm down.

See my post from yesterday under Teenage Stepchiildren "SD19 - I'm Walking on Eggshells." (1/18/15)

~ Moon

You shouldn't have your disagreements/arguments in front of his kids or yours even if they are adults and if they are in private these disagreements should not be discussed with them. Problem solved.

Oh hell no!!!! Why do you for one microsecond tolerate this crap? :? :jawdrop: :sick: Were I you and the toxic prior relationship spawn pulled this shit in my home while my SO buried his head in the sand I would have all of them out on the curb quicker than they could possibly comprehend.

The kids would be propelled out the door by their steaming hot rosey red asses that I had just lit up with a paddle and their dear daddy would be ball-less because I would have harvested his giggle berries and fed them to the dog as I tossed him out with his spawn.

Fortunately my SKid knew better than to get that lippy with either his mom or I because neither of us would tolerate it. On a couple of occassion my bride climbed the Skid's ass about speaking her her husband with respect as did I about speaking to my bride with respect.

The kid got the picture.

Your Skids and DH need the same picture and the dog might need the meal.

Grrrrrrr!

Trust me, if this ever happened, and sadly it has in the past, what I did was directly look at the Twit and tell her, point blank, it was none of her business and to shut up. Twit is aggressive, but when confronted with forcefulness in your voice, quickly cowers. That is how bullies are....tough when no one confronts them and marshmallows when called to task. BUT that doesn't mean they give up....they just slink away to come back nastier another day. Revenge is the thing at all costs.

OSD once thought she had a say in a fight that DH and I got into, in front of the skids. (hey it happens, we aren't perfect). She went on to trash me on FB and in texts. Later she said: If you can forgive me for the things I said about you, I will forgive you for being mean to my dad.

Ha!

I made it VERY clear that I dont need her forgiveness for the way I treat her father. That what goes on between her father and I is our business. That what she needs to do is mind her own business next time.

I would not allow this, either. Especially not from adult skids. We never ever disagree about anything of substance in front of the skids at the ages they are now.

But we can usually tell by telepathy if the other one is 'stuffing' something so we will usually maneuver to be alone together within minutes or even discreetly text each other to resolve the thing without them knowing there was any disagreement at all.

My SD would probably like to smother me in my sleep but she has pretty much figured out that she cannot pry us apart. She also knows she can't treat me like her stupid younger sibling because I will rise up like the goddess Athena and smite her with my shining power. She has experienced it. She tries it rarely now.

Well.... my DH and I never have fights in front of the skids (or our bios), but we don't generally fight at all anyway. I'm actually a bit concerned about the way you put it - "minor disagreements and opinion differences". Could you maybe give an example? Because I would find it weird to have a conversation where you guys had different opinions and then expect other people in the room to stay out of the discussion. I'd also find it a bit odd to have a minor disagreement and NOT put anyone else in their place if they jumped in.

So... say you guys were discussing a movie. You loved it, DH hated it. That's an opinion difference. Who gives a crap if SD says she hated it too? That's her opinion. But I'm assuming you're talking about something more than that - an example would help clarify.

Or, let's say DH didn't take the trash out and you say, "You said you'd do that last night!" "No I didn't! I said I'd get to it!" That's a minor disagreement. If SD jumps in and says anything at all, you just say, "This is between me and my husband, SD. He's a grown man and probably doesn't appreciate his daughter feeling like he's too weak to deal with his own wife!" (That should shut BOTH of them up.)

Look, we all know that arguing in front of others is impolite at best, but sometimes there is a public disagreement. No one is perfect and anyone that claims to be is not being truthful, but we all do our best don't we. Doesn't have to be about anything big, just a disagreement. Regardless, a third part....ASK etc., has no right "butting in". The polite thing for them to do would be to look the other way like they hear nothing.