My boyfriend is a great father, he has custody of all 3 of them, for the first year their mother didn't even see them, or send not even a penny for them. We have taken her back to court 3 times in 3 years just for her to have court ordered visitation. I said she wasn't much help cause she just down right doesn't care, cant force someone to be a mother. He doesn't play video games, or sit on the couch all day. he works 2 jobs. I was just looking for advice, not bashing my boyfriend for trying his hardest at helping supporting everyone, we both work full time. My boyfriend has had his middle child in therapy, conferences with teachers, doctors. He has made it to every football game, band concert, and basketball game. He gets the kids up every morning for school, and no matter what makes it to the bus stop every afternoon. He does punish his kids, gets on their ass when they mouth off, or back talk. When he is not home that's when 2 of his kids turn into monsters. I just think his kids resent the fact that my children have me full time plus their father every other weekend and every Wednesday. I am upset that a mother doesn't interact with her children, or has to have a judge set up a date for her to see her kids, but that is what she will have to answer to when the boys get older. I like the cup of cold water idea though thanks!

Thanks so much, your comment is very helpful! I am willing to try anything to make our "blended" family work. I never knew how hard it would be bringing two families together! My parents are still married so I never had any kind of experience with step brothers or sisters, and nobody ever really thinks they will be in the situation of raising someone else's children. I have always been laid back with my own kids, and I get told all the time how well behaved they are, they make straight A's and really never give me a hard time, and I am just at a loss of how to handle 1 child with ADHD, and I am pretty sure the youngest one has it to, he is scheduled for an appointment next week. I want to make it work with this man, because he is a great father, to my kids and his own, and I wish their mother was more involved with them, I think it would help out the whole situation so much better. Thanks for your help, I will try it!!!