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Viral online letter from BM to stepmom

Sadasusual's picture

This should be a heartwarming article, but I dunno... Thoughts??

https://womenwithworth.wordpress.com/2014/11/30/a-open-letter-to-my-daug...

mommy0104's picture

I'm tired of hearing about it. I don't know what the BM's intentions were..who knows..maybe she's seriously a kind person. But I'm sick of hearing about it because it's unrealistic...9 times out of ten things like this will never happened..this is the ONLY article making a BM look like a good person..all the BM's i've read about and the one I have to deal with are insane witches...as soon as I see it on my facebook wall...i remove it...GAG!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

But God has plans that far exceed our own ane when my little family dissolved to form two families I knew you would be coming.

Hey BioMonster, the little family dissolved because you're a dirty lying cheating filthy WH0RE who was too busy looking for the Golden Peni$ to appreciate DH. And I thank GOD for that because he deserves better than you.

As far as me being terrible and you praying YOUR daughter wouldn't look up to me, well, guess what? YOUR daughter (not DH's) DOES look up to me. Why? Because YOU won't listen to her. YOU scream at her and tell her she's stupid and absolutely refuse to listen to her and calmly discuss any problems she has. I, on the other hand, LISTEN and discuss various OPTIONS with her and let her talk about how those options could work for her and let HER make the decision that works best for HER. NOT try to shove my biased opinions down her throat.

You SHOULD be jealous of me. I am a decent, law-abiding, caring, giving woman who believes that life is not all about ME ME ME. I am not about to throw away DH. I didn't marry him as a stepping stone on my way to something "more". I'm not about to cheat on him with countless other men. I don't USE him. He is not simply an INCOME. He is a MAN. And he's a GOOD man, with feelings and ideas and love and compassion and I wouldn't give him up for the world.

Resent me all you want. It's not MY fault you suck as a mother. It's not MY fault you think nutritious meals always have french fries or come in pizza form. It's not MY fault your idea of goodies are things from a box and not things made from scratch. Go ahead and call me Betty Crocker and think it's an insult. It's NOT. I'm proud of my skills. You're just jealous that your kids prefer MY cooking over YOU buying junk food.

Blah freaking blah. I could go on and on and on. That BM is a rarity. The reality is here on this website.

Sadasusual's picture

Lol some of you ladies are upset that I posted this because you've seen it too many times. I posted it because it was the first time I had seen it. I did not know it was all over your Facebook news feeds, and posted on this forum previously. Sorry I don't read every rant and rave you ladies post on here. I don't lurk on the forums all day long. If ya don't wanna read the link, don't. No ones making you, calm down ladies.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Unless you have been cloned and have OCD...LOL! I replied because of poop that went on with BioMonster and her oldest daughter yesterday - that directly affected me because oldest daughter called me crying. BioMonster is a Super Beeyotch.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

My clone drinks... Wink

This letter makes it seem like the sun shines out of the BM's pooper. And that she was nutpunched that the sun could actually shine out of a SM's pooper.

mommy0104's picture

I'm sorry..I didn't mean to sound snippy..I'm not mad at what you posted..Just venting my frustration that one BM tries to make all BM's look wonderful when we all know they're not lol..again, sorry for the way it came off..that wasn't my intention Smile But I don't lurk here all day...just more of a frustration with the same stories popping up on facebook!

intrinsicmemory's picture

Well... I had never read that...

I hate it.

Of course my DH found a younger better looking woman, he is still a good looking man, BM on the other hand, well she let herself go as soon as she unzipped her wedding dress...

ldvilen's picture

I’m busy looking at the comments to the online letter.  One of the first comments was, “It takes incredible courage, patience, humility, and thick skin to truly get along and love a step-parent.”  Why?  And, I can’t help but ‘love’ Meredith, who immediately made the assumption, “The fact that she gets along with the woman who divided her marriage shows tremendous tolerance and forgiveness.”  Yes, there are still !@#$! Idiots out there who think that every SM = a woman who was banging dad behind BM’s back.  This is only 10% of SMs tops.  Here it is 2018 and the unbelievable ignorance and assumptions made by some is absolutely astounding.

Oh, here is a comment from Rachel stating, “Lady, I’m happy that you have this amazing relationship with this woman [SM], but my god you don’t owe her jack shit.”  Rachel goes on to mention that she’s not married, doesn’t have any kids, and grew up with two parents who are still together.  Yeah, she knows it all allright.  Really!  No way in H-.  And then all the comments from there on pretty much deteriorate into the typical stereotyped comments. Nice letter, tho.  Nice to see something that fights the stereotype for a change.

Leilene's picture

Why does it take “incredible patience, courage, humility, and thick skin to truly get along and love a stepparent”?? Because stepparents have hijacked their faitytale. Simply put. For some, that means instant impatience, potential cowardice (to confront specific possibilities), instant pride in what the failed family they created, and plausible thin skin when it comes to a fear the stepparent could replace them or be liked more than them. To mourn the loss of all those beautiful dreams and wonderful ideas they had on their wedding night and felt after the birth of their children is one thing. To see another man or woman step into the spot necessary to carry them out is another. 

ldvilen's picture

I still don't get this?  "Stepparents have hijacked their fairytale"?  Really?  Where's the divorced parents' culpability in all of this?  As a SM I had a fairytale too that when I married my DH, my marriage would be between 2-people vs. 3+.  I had a fairytale that adults own up and move on and teach their children to do the same.  I think BM may have hijacked my fairtale?; either that, or society did or does everytime they try to imply that as a SM I have to suck it up and take it for someone else's divorce, and I have to accept that fact that as a SP I am so unloveable just for being one, that it takes, "incredible patience, courage, humility, and thick skin to truly get along and love a stepparent."

Leilene's picture

And it will ravage any logic or reason. Insecurity when it comes to the physical is one thing. But insecurity when it comes to someone being envious of the way you are loved, recieved, or wanted is a whole nother ballpark. If a stepmother can seemingly manifest something an ex-wife couldn’t, insecurity and self-consciousness will most likely  overgrow and tangle itself within rationale. 

At the end of the day, fairytales aren’t real. They’re simply a clever marketing strategy to firmly grip the minds and hearts of loyal consumers from a young age. The billion dollar wedding dress industry should be enough evidence of that. Another woman can’t hijack a fairytale because fairytales don’t exist. Humans, by nature with our imperfections, are incapable of living up to the idylic standards told in romantic myths. Fairytales are just one layer of the money machine we all play our part in. 

Leilene's picture

You are not unlovable just for being a stepmother. By default, your position as a newcomer in the midst of a journey between a couple that came to an end makes your presence unwanted by some. That doesn’t define you as a woman, an individual, or a partner so don’t let it. It’s not your fault that your husband had a counterfeit life partner and the bond ran it’s course. 

Leilene's picture

It’s clear from the first sentence, “I never wanted you here.” that the letter came from a bitter place of resentment over her failed marriage. If you want to write someone a personal, heartfelt letter, you hand it to them. You don’t submit it online, hope it will get likes, and check back for comments. The letter is disingenuous and a subtle attack on women who end up in the stepmother role after their life partner improves via a failed bond with his ex wife. 

Rags's picture

On one hand this is little more than the usual BM centric drivel.  She "accepted" SM into her family? Oh really.

Pu-lease!  SM probably does not give a flying rat's shit about "your" family and  for damned sure you are not a part of hers.  Contrary to what you are spewing. SD might be part of SM's family.. and yours. But... neither you nor SM are part of each other's family.  At least in the overwhelming majority of blended family situations.

On the other hand... I respect that this BM deems to call the kid in this situation "our daughter" in relation to SM.

My reaction is no doubt in large part jaded by my own Sparenting experience and... nearly 11 years of STalking through the countless experiences of other SParents struggling with the toxic bullshit spewed by the blended family opposition.

But.. it is an intereting read.

Jcksjj's picture

Eh... I'm less offended than I expected to be. Its definitely better than the last couple "dear SM" letters I've seen on here. Still a little too heavy on the "our" crap for me and I think she is still overestimating the amount of her place in their lives. It does read fairly genuine to me though which is a first from a BM that I've seen.

I still dont find it heartwarming though. I personally just flat out don't want a relationship with BM or communication any more than necessary even if I can get along with her. There just isnt a reason to me other than looking good on a surface level. Shes not adding anything to my life so why put in that effort? Shes not part of my family or friend group. And my DH left her for a reason.

Thisisnotus's picture

Barf....major barf!

Who cares? I couldn't care less is BM liked me, loved me, or hated me.. She is not my family. These women need to get over themselves as some permanent fixture in their ex husbands life. MOVE ON.

MissDenise's picture

The letter writer sounds better than my DH's ex for sure. However, it's unnecessary, wordy, and yes time to move on. You nailed it, the ex is not part of DH's family, or yours. There doesn't have to be bad feelings, it's simply over. This is why I parented with my DH, and BM parented on her end. I also found the letter quite forward in thinking the step even cares what her feelings are.  Honestly, I felt the real story was BM still trying to insert herself, by playing the victim card.