"Great" advice that you have been given
I'm bored today and thought it might be fun to hear all those gems that we'll say well meaning people have given you in regards to step situations.
My favorite that someone told me recently.... I'm eight months preggo btw. "you know your going to have this baby full time, its going to be way different then being a step mom. Are you sure you can handle that?"
My response was What?! You mean my sd's mom isn't going too have my DD on the weekends?! I wonder why no one told me....
Let's here your awesome super helpful advice!!
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"This too shall pass" "Wine
"This too shall pass"
"Wine time."
LOL I adore you...this is so
LOL I adore you...this is so true!
Notmine, I take it your
Notmine, I take it your friend thinks being a sm is all rainbows and unicorns playacting, not real work. I want to smack her. I want to send her to an ancient Roman salt mine with a scratchy rusty shackle on her ankles dragging a spiky 90 lb weight in the dusty blazing heat. Then she'll get an inkling of what being a sm is like compared to nuzzling your own sweet baby who will be brought up properly.
Haha its an older lady I work
Haha its an older lady I work with she's one of those been there, did it right, and must tell everyone how they are doing whatever wrong. I have to bite my tongue a lot!
I keep getting advice to just
I keep getting advice to just sit back and take the abuse from BM and GBM.
"They can't do anything harmful to you. Take the high road."
I've discovered it gets you
I've discovered it gets you nowhere.
Mostly from my overly
Mostly from my overly optimistic SIL:
"All this unpleasantness now has to end, the youngest child is 18"
( BM went on a college-related offensive)
"I am so glad the court case is now over! You can breathe a big sigh of relief!"
( BM appealed the next day)
" Just follow everything in the court order and she will do the same" - hahahahha!
" She knows you are not going to back off so she will" - still waiting...
But they look so much like
But they look so much like you doesn't that make it so much better!?! Um no!!
I hate the boys will be boys
I hate the boys will be boys line and well they are just little kids. That'd no excuse to be little disrespectful brats.
"You should love them like
"You should love them like your own!"
OMG. You nailed it. Everyone
OMG. You nailed it. Everyone seems to think they have an easy solution to every thing. #1 As the SMs, we often aren't in the decision making position. #2 It's really easy to be an arm chair quarterback.
On Thanksgiving, facing a 5+ hour ride to see my family, SD refused to get out of bed and was not ready when when we went to pick her up at BM. I ended up sitting in the car with the dog waiting over an hour for FDH to get her out of there. We had to back up my entire family's meal time by an hour. I was livid. What did my friends say? "Why didn't you just leave her there?" Really? It was his visitation with his kids. It's not up to me. I can give advice. I can threaten to drive alone and leave him and both SDs home. But I can't just say "OK, man. Leave your kid. Happy thanksgiving SD!"
Why don't you just shut your trap?
I raised a SD from age 8 (she
I raised a SD from age 8 (she now is grown), and I found if she felt loved, protected and cared for, she behaved well. If she felt neglected and pushed away, she acted out. So, I made certain she felt loved and wanted at all times. This might not work for all children, but it worked for us.
You cannot make a child feel
You cannot make a child feel loved and wanted by their own mother who is neglectful and lazy and selfish. You cannot fix a kid who wants their own mom.
"She's the baby of the
"She's the baby of the family, that's normal". Um, no. I don't care about her birth order. She's a jerk. It's called being "spoiled and entitled".
Where to start?? Be the
Where to start??
Be the bigger person.
They cant help it, they are attention starved.
Court will sort it out dont worry so much!
BM2 will get over it!
She will stop acting out when she finds a man too. She is married and still insane!
Put the kids first always! We do and it gets really hard and frustrating! To have happy kids we need a good relationship and foundation. We are not selfish for taking time for ourselves just like any other married couple.
Take the high road.
He is a package deal.
He has baggage.
You have your own baggage. She is a normal kid with normal parents and no behavior problems that makes it very different.
They will thin out. No they wont! They never have before.
Put her on a diet, ok a diet at our house in the short time we have here will make a difference right? Sure.
If you ignore BM she will stop. DUH!! She has not yet!
Courts will listen to you! Really? Thanks but you are wrong!
Just report everything mom does! Wow thanks let me try that, oh wait no one cares!
"Go to the gym; it will help
"Go to the gym; it will help you disengage and clear your mind!"
Sure I need some "me" time, but between time with SS7 and workout, which I hate, I'd have one hell of a time choosing!
"Go to the gym; it will help
"Go to the gym; it will help you disengage and clear your mind!"
Sure I need some "me" time, but between time with SS7 and workout, which I hate, I'd have one hell of a time choosing!