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Help Everytime I think of my step daughter I get anxious and stressed i don't like does that make me bad?

Spratandmack's picture

Submitted by Spratandmack on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:35am

I have been with my partner for 5 yrs and his daughter is now nearly 15 I haven't really spent much time with her due the fact he was going thru a court battle when we met he didn't see her either. Her mother is a complete mental case and has done some bad things. I wanted to come on here and be able to express my feelings without being judged. His daughter presses his buttons and gets everything she wants it's the fact that every time she is here I get myself so worked up and shut off I make excuses to get out of the way or go to bed early I don't like her even tho she is 14 she knows exactly what she is doing to get exactly what she wants from her dad and he feels guilty from the past and wants to make sure she gets it. I admit I feel jealous but I feel a whole lot of other things as well hate is a strong word but I feel I wish she didn't exist .
I feel angry with her dad for it all to cos she gets away with it all she sly. She will only do something if it benefits her she is so obsessed with herself constantly taking pics and her mum and dad don't know half the stuff she upto and if I bring anything up to her dad he gets all defensive and it ends up in an argument . She plays him like a game. The weekends when she is here I feel stressed and on edge constantly I can't wait for her to leave. Am I the only person that feels this way? I would never do anything bad but she has picked up on my dislike for her and her dad Also knows I needed someone to talk to that isn't him.
Can anyone tell me I'm not crazy ???

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Evil stepmonster's picture

Submitted by Evil stepmonster on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:46am

No you're not crazy, you're not a bad person for feeling this way either. Truth is, if her dad isn't willing to admit what his little princess is like it's not going to get any better. If you're not married, consider that maybe this just isn't the right relationship for you.

Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 11:47am

I'm sorry your so stressed. Besides disengaging and telling your SO that you WILL be respected in your home, I don't have much advice. If daddy doesn't want to see SD is playing him, you calling it out isn't going to do much. SKids are super hard to deal with. I never thought I would want to punch an 8yr old until I had Skids!

Spratandmack's picture

Submitted by Spratandmack on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 12:57pm

I shouldn't let a 14 yr old child make me feel this way. But in his eyes she's perfect obviously. She is here tonight and she gets his sole attention and I just want to scream and run. Thanks for all ur comments they really help I love that u call them skids that's great and I laughed which is good to have humour about the situation. Xx

Spratandmack's picture

Submitted by Spratandmack on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 1:01pm

The other thing that really bugs is the fact that on a weekend when she is here they have to do something extravagant go shopping go somewhere that costs lots of money that's not normal life is it? Y can't she go out with her mates it watch a movie but no it's ice skating or build a bear workshop or Chinese fucking buffet?!!!! Lol it's good to chat like this tho thank u xxxx

Spratandmack's picture

Submitted by Spratandmack on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 2:28pm

It's true sometimes it feels like I'm obsessed. I'm always second guessing. I'm just wondering what expensive treat she's gonna ask daddy for this weekend u know what I mean.? She's just little miss perfect to daddy but in my eyes she's a sly conniving little skid! Anyway I'm glad iv been able to get things off my chest.
Does any know of any step mum groups that are running actual meetings ?
Xx

Evil stepmonster's picture

Submitted by Evil stepmonster on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 3:58pm

Moscato and mimosas help out greatly, so do nice days at a spa, get your nails done, treat yourself. If princess gets nice things, the Queen deserves nicer things. Wink

Spratandmack's picture

Submitted by Spratandmack on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 4:53pm

To true I should treat myself! But I want him to treat me not her she gets enough spoilt by her mother spoilt by him. I don't get spoilt. He listens and pics up on all her likes and dislikes and takes a real interest but I bet he can't remember the last thing I told him I liked! Its a constant battle. X

wickedwitch70's picture

Submitted by wickedwitch70 on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 6:27pm

I have no advice because I have the same problem and I can either deal with it or hit the road. My ss14 almost 15 is a sneaky, miserable bastard and hides and sneaks everything he does. His father is at work all day and goes to bed early so he's clueless (doesn't care anyway). I am home all day and go through his room when he's at school. He's got enough weed stashed in his smelly closet to open his own dispensary. Dad doesn't care that he smokes it. He stashes dirty plates and silverware in his closet...why? I don't know. Just because he's just a naturally sneaky bastard. I can't say anything to his father about anything because he gets defensive and it blows up into a fight everytime. That whole family thinks the sun rises and sets on this kids ass. I can honestly say I hate that kid. Him and his BM have caused me nothing but stress and drama my whole relationship. I wish all the time he'd run away. He ignores everyone in the house and has a stale personality. Never talks or even smiles. Weed and video games have probably rotted his brain.

EFlores90's picture

Submitted by EFlores90 on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 7:18pm

Oh my goodness thats annoying! Why the hell does he stash dishes in the closet? I hate how spoiled these kids are. Everyone but the family sees how spoiled and terrible they are

EFlores90's picture

Submitted by EFlores90 on Wed, 12/03/2014 - 7:15pm

you're not crazy! I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with a teenage girl. Girls are terrible at that age. I am so glad this site exists. I think theres a lot of people on here who can relate to you. When I spend time with my BF and his son like for the weekend I can't wait till we drop off his son, and if we don't get to "get rid of him" I feel super anxious as well. I feel on edge like time goes by so slowly. For example if my BF starts to play video games with is son and I'm making dinner or watching TV in the other room I feel like why the hell am I here? Spend time with me!!! psycho I know

Spratandmack's picture

Submitted by Spratandmack on Sat, 12/06/2014 - 5:04pm

I feel obsessed I'm constantly trying to figure out what sd is thinking and what she's planning for her dad to do for her. Thing is tho this really gets to me he is so eager to please her give her exactly what she wants. He's always asking her if she ok and if she needs anything. Recently since she thru her teddy outta pram and told her dad that he isn't giving her what she needs it's even worse every to
Weekend since she's played him activity dad giving her everything it's laughable and not normal. She knows exactly what she's doing. I have a daughter from previous and we have a son together so this week fun iv stood my ground and said u need to involve the other 2 this weekend cos I'm working. However she still wants to go shopping I mean how much shopping can 1 child do she gets spoilt my her phyco mother at every opportunity! I get so mad. It's Xmas soon and he hasn't made time to go shopping yet but he has made sure he's got her presents. Aaaaaaarrrrgggh lol it winds me up. The thing I need to get over us the obsession with it all it's like it consumes me totally I can't think of anything else. Thank god she is going home early tomorra so I can relax!!!!! Help the other thing us when I do take an interest in her and ask stuff and speak my mind it's like he dunt like that it's just bizzare x

Spratandmack's picture

Submitted by Spratandmack on Sat, 12/06/2014 - 5:16pm

Thank u for all ur comments they are great I'm so glad I found this. It's a big release xx