Just and update and addition....SS19 has been entrusted to sort his housing out...
I spoke with SS19 last night, gathered more info regarding his eviction. It is based on his ignorance and lack of maturity and knowledge (he is a very immature 19 and does have dyslexia). He said he "didnt know" half the stuff I was telling him, told him thats what happens when you swan off for 3 and 4 months at a time with no contact. After speaking with him and OH, neither seemed impressed when I told them the flat could have been saved....
Ive made it clear he wont be sleeping on my sofa for much longer and he needs to get it sorted. The reason he wasnt madly fussed about the flat and didnt come see us, was because he was moving in with his GF...who promptly dumped his a** via a text to SS19s cousin 3 weeks after moving in with GF........he had to see that coming, SS19 was looking for a mother, not a GF.....
So, again, Ive helped him put together what he needs to say and do, again he has been advised that this is the last time....and it is, Im not doing it again....SS19 needs to grow up and see the seriousness if what is apparently his life.....OH has nt said anything about it, think he is kinda glad Im pushing it, again....whilst at the same time I think OH likes having him around....tough sh*t, SS19 not stopping....SS19 was told to go check his emails for the social and then head to the Council House to sort his shelter and such out....OH will know if he is lying, as will I.....and that wont be tolerated.
SS19 did however help out yesterday....he did paint all the nursery, and this is coming on well, and he did tidy round the house afterwards aswell.....although, it doesnt wash with me, he should be doing something since he spends his life dossing at any other time.
- stressedstep's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I really hope for your sake
I really hope for your sake and for SS19s sake that he does grow up. But Im going to share some information about my step-brother, for there are a number of similarities between them from what I've read.
My step-brother was never particularly interested in school, never particularly academic, he had dyslexia but he had NO interest in learning. He left school at 16 and took on an apprenticeship to be a mechanic. Due to poor hygiene and general skin issues he became allergic to oil, stopped his apprenticeship and took on a general job. There were always alot of arguments between my father and step mother regarding my step brother. He was the second eldest, with a 6 year age gap between me and him. He was quite mean towards me and my step sister and it would cause issues, my step mother became more defensive and in the end he was kicked out of the family home when he was about 19.
He had a little flat from the council, it was great at first, family relations were soooo much better. But then he lost his job and didnt inform anyone, became behind on his rent and ended up being evicted. He was angry about it and took it out on the flat, causing thousands of pounds of damage. He was in his early 20s then.
He went back to my parents (by then the rest of us had all flown the nest) and ended up being kicked out again, the council couldnt/wouldnt place him because of the previous flat damage. He was registered as living in his car at one point to gain emergency housing. Got himself in trouble with debts, a credit card that got out of control then a fast loan to clear it, but with lack of work one loan after another to try to fix it. All without letting parents know how big a mess he was in.
He is going to be 30 next year, up until last year he was living at home with our parents, until they kicked him out for the third or fourth time. He is now living with his sister, her partner and their kid, except hes legally of "no fixed abode" so cannot be in receipt of any help.
I love my step brother, it is incredibly frustrating when he is a decent person but my god he is still living like hes 17 with no cares in the world. Yes hes had bad luck but hes also made bad decisions. I would love to see him get himself together but honestly? I dont know whether or when he will be able to.
Wow...thankyou for sharing
Wow...thankyou for sharing this with me! There are similarities!!
SS19 had an apprenticeship, which I got him through my brother. Would have set him up for life. But he chose to just not bother going in and lost it. He had no perm address at that point either. He isnt particularly clever, wasnt good at school and has no GCSE's at all. He will say he has an interest, but he genuinely doesnt. Nice lad, well mannered...normally....but seems to be putting himself further into a rut by simply not giving a toss!
He has a debt, but its turned out that that is the fault of the local council. He was told yesterday that they would sort out a hotel or hostel for him ASAP and then start the process of re-homing, which I will assist and appeal if I need to. Luckily, he has no other debts as he has no ID or anything to create them.
He annoys me with the shoulder shrugging attitude. I told him the other day "This is life. This isn't a computer game that you press restart on and get to go over it again! You have been a nomad basically since you were 16...its time to grow up and get a grip, cos you cant stay here, and you cant keep sleeping on everyone's sofa or whatever!"
He just needs to man up, and everyone else needs to stop wrapping him in cotton wool, otherwise he will never learn and never grom up.....