SS driving me crazy
I have been reading this site for a few weeks now since my SS moved in and he is driving me crazy.
I have been with my husband for 23 years and have known my SS since he was 2. He is now 25. From when he was 2 he came to our house every other weekend. Then when he was 16 he moved in with us full time. That lasted 9 months until we had a fight and I told him to leave to his mothers. We didn't see him for 5 years.
Then he started seeing his girlfriend and they started coming around again. He has now not seeing his mother but that's another story. Anyway their relationship has been rocky and in the last 3 years they have broken up about 4 times and he moves in with us for a couple of weeks and then they get back together. They broke up about 6 weeks ago because he cheated on her and she found out. So he rang my husband to come pick him up and he has been with us ever since.
I can't stand him living here. We don't talk and avoid each other. I am angry I didn't even get asked if he could live here. My husband told him living here was only temporary and SS said he wants to stay 6 months! I can't stand it. I am having so many fights with my husband about it. The other thing is SS has started working nights so I have to be quiet in my own house all day. I am just on edge all the time. My Dh came to me today and said he had good news. In January SS is going to start working away and will just come back every few weeks. I don't see the good news in that. He will probably leave all his stuff here and still come and go as he pleases. I thought he would be getting his own house to rent by then. Now he won't get a house as he won't need it here. So I just lost it at my husband that if he is not out of here by January, then my husband can go. I think I am being more that reasonable. SS doesn't pay us anything and earns more than my husband!
Let's see, SS is 25, employed
Let's see, SS is 25, employed and living with you? Time for sonny boy to get his own apartment, room or whatever. This is another case of failure to launch.
Your deadline of January sounds quite reasonable.
My husband now tells me SS is
My husband now tells me SS is saving for a deposit for a house, he doesn't want to rent. I told Dh I don't care, I will have a meltdown before he leaves and kick him out myself then it will be another 5 years of not seeing SS.
You are not being
You are not being unreasonable at all! That's such bs that you have to be quiet in your in home too! He has to go!
Apparently Dh had a talk with
Apparently Dh had a talk with SS yesterday saying that I don't like living with someone else in the house..Dh said I liked him but just didn't like anyone living with us, which I have said. Dh also told him some house rules like not to wear work boots in the house and be careful with the back door latch as it is breaking. He also said to be nice to me as I am having a hard time. Dh then went on to say to let us know what his plans were, like when he would be home as last weekend he went out Friday night and didn't get back to Sunday. I had no idea where he went and Dh went away for the weekend. I am amazed he said any thing at all. Dh didn't tell me any of this until tonight.
Anyway, today we went through the normal thing of not talking (SS and me) but he sat in the room with me looking like he had something to say, I just ignored him. Then SS said he was going to his ex girlfriend's house, I said ok. A few hours later she rang my husband to say he didn't turn up and wouldn't take her calls,,she was worried about him as he told her he was depressed. Dh tried to call him but he didn't answer. Dh went out and SS came home and same thing not talking. By the time Dh got home SS had gone to work. Dh rang ex girlfriend to tell her he was fine and she said he ended up calling her and had a breakdown and was freaking out at her and how he was so unhappy.
Dh was so worried that SS was going to do something stupid. So I said see he is unhappy at living here and I am unhappy living here so he needs to go and why are you so worried about him having a breakdown when I am also having a breakdown. I think he should make SS stand on his own two feet and his ex girlfriend is a drama queen. I don't care about their problems. When he got home I said to SS your ex has been looking for you and he said I just decided not to go there and went to another girls house! I don't need this shit.