The little things
This is such a small thing but lack of manners drives me insane and she does this crap on purpose. We are out in the woods and SD12 is going to pour herself some coffee from DHs thermos. I say hey let me have some of that. She pours all the coffee into her cup and hands me an empty thermos. So I bust her on it... Did you just drain the thermos after an adult asked you for it to pour themselves some?
The thermos is for the adults, number one. The children have other drinks. Then you disrespectfully hand me an empty f'n thermos? When I bust her she stammers around like she doesn't understand the rules of our family and universe she's been raised in... If DH had been standing there he would have made her give me the coffee. When she offered after I busted her I told her to go ahead because I don't want drink after her... Seriously this kid is going to drive me insane. The other skids I'm always happy to see but she ruins every single visit with her obnoxious attitude about life in general. She complains her stomach hurts. My solution? Stop shoveling food in your face. I'm so aggravated by her that I feel like she is always trying to compete with me.. I am not your competitor you brat. You always lose because I'm the adult. God almighty!
Does your DH normally let her
Does your DH normally let her drink coffee? Does she normally get what the adults get? I think it's time your DH remembers she's a child, and starts treating her like a child.
I can understand why you didn't take it and poor it out, if that were me, and I was trying to teach a lesson or prove my point, I still would have ended up being the adult who acted like a mean bully and poored all the coffee out just to be mean. There is no peaceful ground for us. Sigh
I should have at least taken
I should have at least taken it from her, that's what DH told me when I told him about the ordeal. He said I wasn't making a big deal out of nothing that her behavior has got to stop. So we got a game plan. Today after work he's sitting her down and telling her that if she can't respect our rules and lose her shitty attitude then she won't be welcome in our home. Her and BM would like nothing better than for him to whip her ass and leave a mark. They have grown up with whippings but I know through this custody battle they will bring out anything to get us in trouble. So he's working as short days as possible to come back home because I've hit my limit with her attitude. While he's gone if she gets an attitude she gets put to work. Feeding our 40 hunting dogs. Mixing milk and feeding puppies. Feeding chickens and watering them. I'm gonna work her lazy ass every single time she rolls her eyes today. When he gets home he can have his talk with her. She wants nothing more than to stay with her mother? Fine, go. DH has hit his limit too and I am glad for it... I don't always know how to handle a situation and I wanted to smack her in the mouth when she pulled that crap. DH even said last night that's what she needed everytime she got an attitude. Now he is doesn't to whip her because of the custody crap so she just won't come over anymore. Good riddance!
If "whippings" worked, she
If "whippings" worked, she wouldn't need to be whipped at this age. It doesn't sound like the adults are acting like adults, but she sure is expected to. Interesting.
I can see you don't agree
I can see you don't agree with our discipline which is fine. To each their own. She is expected to have respect for her elders and have a level of maturity that she lacks. All in all telling me I'm not acting like an adult because of the way I deal with things is the least helpful comment I have received.
I agree with you in the
I agree with you in the relationship between a father and daughter. I will not be a champion for someone who is constantly at me all day. She hates me and I know it's because of BM. At the end of the day it's not my choice if she stays or goes. She is old enough to decide where she wants to live and DH has made her to come to his house. If she wants to be with her mother then so be it, have fun. I know from my own personal experience how important a solid relationship with your dad is when it comes to life choices. However she isn't going to be disrespectful in his home and he's making that clear. I agree with my DH that her behavior has to stop. It isn't my choice they aren't my kids. I'm not standing with a torch ready to run her out of the house and our lives. I am not going to tell him how to parent his children I've never had to put myself there because I agree with him in most things. Even if I didn't agree again they aren't my kids. I won't be upset if she goes and lives with her mother and doesn't come back. She is the reason all of the drama started. If she wants to behave like she is supposed I would be glad again to try to have a relationship with her. Until then I'm done with her and her bratty attitude.
You know are right there
You know are right there shouldn't be one at all. I can assure you though you think I am the problem in this situation I am not. No she isn't supposed to be drinking coffee but I'm stepping back an not getting onto her and her dad wasn't there. Soooo regardless of the spanking which has become the issue everyone is looking at instead of what I actually posted. Notice I dont spank her. She is not my kid and again it's not my choice if she gets her butt whipped. Tell me how many time you other step moms call out a skid in front of a crowd of your friend and some strangers? Me asking her for thermos was so I wouldn't have to be ugly about it which didn't work at all. So after his talk with all of them last night they changed their tune incredibly and I hope it lasts. Don't worry everybody nobody got a spanking!
" I told her to go ahead
" I told her to go ahead because I don't want drink after her" a missed golden opportunty to have then taken the cup and dumped the coffee. A golden opportunity for a teaching moment and to have some fun too. }:)