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My DH has been my rock...and he even stood up to BM and impressed the hell out of me.

hangingbyathread6's picture

It's been a trying couple of weeks. Right after returning home from my SIL's funeral, two days later my father went in to ICU and remained there for four days. Afterwards he was hospitalized for three more before we were able to take him home. They wanted us to put him in a nursing home. He's 64 and has end stage liver disease. I made some calls and he was eligible for hospice and his insurance would pay it 100% so I asked the Dr to discharge him and brought him and my mom home with home hospice. He's actually doing quite well at home. You always feel better in your own house. We don't have a lot of time, but we got him home. Through all of this, my DH has been so amazingly supportive. Picking up all the slack of me not even coming home after work and just going straight to the hospital. Running our five kids around, making dinner, getting them to bed, etc. And still hugging me and telling me if I want to talk he'll listen or he can just hold me. I had a really hard time for a few days, but I pulled myself together and am at peace with what is coming. I'm just enjoying my time with my father while I have it. I do know though, I sure wouldn't have made it through this without the love and support of my DH.

And of course within all the chaos of this BM starts some more drama. YSS likes to hunt. BM makes a big deal about how SHE is the one who promotes that and SHE is the one who supports it. Well deer season started with opening day last Saturday. YSS didn't hunt. Why? Because BM's boyfriend was hunting with his buddies (i.e. drinking and smoking pot) and it's really the b/f who will take YSS NOT BM. So no hunting opening day. B/f took YSS hunting for three hours the following day. YSS returns to our home from his weekend visitation on Monday after school and BM sends a message on Tuesday asking for a favor. Asking for extra time. DH and I had stopped giving her extra time to do things with skids on our time due to her not following through on the requests we ask i.e.- bring them home when you are done (instead she brings them to a friend or MIL etc) or make sure they are back at such and such a time because we do have plans for later in the evening and she of course doesn't bring them. So DH told her that's it...no more. Done. Well she asks if YSS can go to her house Thursday after school to deer hunt. She would pick him up from school and bring him to her house. DH talks to me about it and we both agree that if YSS really wants to go for a couple hours before dark, we had nothing else going on so why not. DH texts BM and tells her that is fine. I still have reservations regarding the whole thing, since she had YSS all weekend and he didn't go at all on opening day and only three hours on Sunday, but hey...DH that's your decision. BM then texts and says great, I'm going to take him out of school early so be sure to send a note with him to school. Whoa...back the train up....there was nothing about picking him up early. DH texts back "If you want to take him so he can go hunting for a couple hours AFTER school, that's fine. He is NOT to miss school. He has two C's and some missing work he's still working on from missing school for SIL's funeral last week. He missed two days and he hasn't been able to catch up because we had a snow day thrown in there also. His grades aren't where they should be and he will not be leaving school to go hunting." BM says fine.

Skids go to BM's for Wednesday overnight visitation and OSS comes home Thursday...YSS went to BM's to hunt. Except that's not what really happened. DH and I were checking all the kids grades to see what they were still needing to work on due to the funeral absences and there is a notice that YSS missed part of the school day that day. Yes...she went and took him out of school anyway. DH says something to me, OSS is in the area and says, "yeah Mom went and got him, she didn't want you to know for some reason and told us not to tell you, just to say school was fine when you asked about the day". BM then texts "YSS wants to just stay here tonight" This is at 7:10. She was supposed to have him home no later than 7:00. DH texts her back and says, "NO. You will bring him home NOW. You are already ten minutes late" So BM calls, YES CALLS DH. He answers and she says "he wants to stay, why can't you just let him stay? Why are you being such an asshole?" DH says "This is why you don't get extra time with the skids. You don't follow through with the plans and what I say about it when it IS MY TIME with them. You took him out of school after I explicitly told you he is NOT to miss school, I also told him he is NOT to miss school, and then you tell our sons to LIE to me and be sneaky and deceptive to their father. You bring him home now" Bm starts ranting and raving (I can hear her yelling from across the room through DH's phone) and DH abruptly says, "I am NOT arguing nor fighting with you. This is my time, he is supposed to be in my custody. You have 15 mins to get him home or I will call the police and have them pick him up. You are in violation of the custody order." and he hangs up. WHAT??? Did you really say you're not fighting with her? Did you really not allow yourself to get sucked in to an argument with her? Did you REALLY say you would call the police because she is in violation of the custody order? WOW!! Look at you!! Standing up for yourself. Putting her in her place. Have to say, as run down, exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally, that moment right there...I found my DH INCREDIBLY sexy...and if he hadn't had to take off for his night shift job after the kids were in bed...I would have shown him just how sexy he was.

So DH gets big high fives and gold stars for this past two weeks. And a little forgiveness and patience when he may get a bit cranky and on my nerves...he deserves it. He's going through a lot too.

Comments

Needalifeboat's picture

Love these stories!!! Yay dh! I'm happy he's being there for you and I'm so sorry about your father, thank goodness you have support at home.

hangingbyathread6's picture

You bet she did ripley. Of course she followed it with a long ridiculous text which was ignored but saved for documentation.

And wouldn't ya know...YSS gets home, goes to bed, hubby leaves for work, I wait up because I have to pick up my OSS from hockey practice at 11:30 pm (yes PM...sigh) and when I get back home YSS comes to me and says "hanging, I woke up and didn't feel good. I puked." Okay buddy, I'll be up in a minute. I go up with some gatorade, re-tuck him into bed, ask if he's feeling any better, wrap him up in another blanket and walk into the bathroom because he said i had a little problem in there. I walk in...my sink FILLED with vomit. He was on the toilet and felt like he had to puke so he jumped up, leaned forward and puked in the sink (rather than the garbage can on side of the toilet) and I was the lucky winner who got to clean it out. I'm not good with vomit of my own, let alone any one else's, and to top it off I don't even want to tell you the shit that woman fed that kid before she brought him home.

I felt terrible for the kid, but I'm not going to lie...there was a part of me that thought, for a quick minute "Dammit!! Why didn't she keep him!!?? She gets out of cleaning puke and sanitizing the whole bathroom at midnight. grr"

But whatevs...I took care of it and he felt alright the next morning.