To sum it up, I have spent the last 2 days telling my DH to man up or I'm leavin and trying to track down a missing skid

My new Year's Resolution is not to allow anyone else's drama to control my life. SD17 came home from staying with friends for New Year's Eve and told me she was giving it 2 weeks for things to improve or she was moving out. "I'm just not happy here, and it's not a good environment for me."

We have primary custody, and when an issue came up in October, bio-mom didn't even want to take her then. I am sitting on the bed, reading about disengagement practices when she announces this. I ignore her, hoping she'll go away. This annoys her, and she tells me she has lots of places she could go and stay.

I tell her I am happy she has so many wonderful friends. I call her father on the cell and tell him to get in the house cause she's planning to move out.

Moments later, he comes in and wants to know what I DID!!!

Oh, no. I just look at them both and announce I'm leaving. I told them I wasn't taking it anymore.

While waiting for the car to warm up in 14 degree Midwest winter cold, he comes out and crawls into the car. I let him have it. I tell him after 11 years, I am to tired to go on. I tell him I am fed up with the bull$%^& the 3 skids dish at me every day. I told him I love him with all my heart, but I don't like him very much right now. I told him I was sick of them disrespcting me, but worse, I was tired of them doing it to him.

I went on and on and on. I said it all. Every last piece.

And he cried. he said he was sorry. He says he's afraid they'll turn out like bio-mom. I told him that by letting them get away with crap, he was giving them permission to be like her.

He said he loved me. I laughed at him. I told him it was time to prove it, and I went back in the house.

So like an hour later SD17 asks to visit Grandma. She often goes over there when she doesn't want to face life. Dad says yes thinking it will give her time to cool off. 2 hours later his mother calls and asks where SD is, why isn't she here yet.

I could have just killed her- lying to us, lying to Grandma. And it was premeditated- I checked her room and all her favorite things were gone. She knew what she was doing... We spent 3 hours calling everyone we knew, posting on FB, driving all the back country roads, texting her and her boyfriend.

After about 4 hours, the boyfriend texts that they'd been in a movie with his parents. he didnt know she was supposed to be at grandma's and now she's all flippin out. He texts that he is scared for her because she is acting like her mother...

2 more hours pass where we ahve communication with her boyfriend and not her. he's a good guy and tries to bring her home. But at a stop sign, she hops out of the car and tries to run. Her dad finally tells the boyfriend to take her back to his parents' house for the night.

I wasn't home when she got home this morning. She came by for a change of clothes before going in to work. Her dad told her to finish her weekend job assignments and then tell them she had to quit because he was taking away her car and she'd have no way to get there.

So that's what the first 2 days of 2010 have been like for me. I think it can only get better from this vantage point at the bottom of the barrell...