Why is a 20 month old having overnights with dad? Why are you the one trying to comfort the child?

He should be at home with his mother at night (imho)

It annoys me, and I know that many here will disagree, to expect from a 20 month old baby to be ready to cope with being in two homes.I JUST DON"T GET IT.
That little person misses obviously his mum .In my opinion (unless we are talking about a horrible BM)the child should simply stay with the mother until he or she is a bit older to cope with being in another home.It seems to be the selfish thinking of the parents demanding a week on - week off schedule !! It can't be any good for a young child.

Yes guys. Can I plead with this poster.

My ex wanted to punish me and have week on and week off of a 14 month old child. I had to spend every last cent I had to prevent that situation and that was the right thing to do. Luckily I protected my child from this.

Even when he was away for a night at that age he was stressed.

I offer my ex daily contact so that my son and he could have the same bond they had previously. he just wanted week on week off and to re partner.

the judge saw through him and thank god it did not happen.

Please see the world through this small child's eyes. Please please please. He does not know a thing and is doing his best to adjust.

Your partner is no doubt telling you that his mum spoils him and is a bad mother. Just stop and think about that. most of us try our hardest to be good mums.

Here is the other side. My DH insisted on week on and week off with his daughter. It is a disaster. He was a Disney Dad and this girl is going to have adjustment problems for the rest of her life. How will any bloke match up to daddy who was her hang out buddy for 2 years. Evey movie and concert and whim entertained.

Please I really empathise that you are not getting sleep but this little fellow is being messed around by this separation. Not your fault but be the voice of reason. Step parenting is thankless. i have been the voice of reason for my SD19 and she will never know it but I am the reason she was pushed to catch a bus for the first time, learn to drive, get a best friend and have her over. You can do a whole lot of good here.

Sorry you are having a rough time.

GRIPE WATER!!! Make a run to the N. border to Canada and pick up a case of Gripe Water. A very good friend of mine who lives in the northern US swears buy the stuff. Apparently it will render a screaming toddler comatose in minutes and calm even the most heinous case of teething induced tantrums.

If you can't make a run to the Canadian border my understanding is that it is primarily a low proof whiskey with some herbs and vitamins thrown in.

My friend and his bride swear by the stuff.

Yes you took on too much. It takes strength and courage to know your boundaries and limitations. Bowing out of a situation like this is ok. Being a step parent is not for everyone.

If you read around on these forums, you will see that skids are maddening. If you read fairy tales, you will see that step mothers are evil. There is a reason for this, and that is because taking care of someone else's children is extremely difficult. Although there are undoubtedly many wonderful exceptions, I would venture to guess that step parenting is unnatural. We simply do not want strange chicks in our nests. This goes doubly and triply for babies. A baby is a huge, annoying burden, but it has big eyes and a round little face so that its mother finds it cute and adorable and takes care of it rather than strangling it when it wakes her out of a sound sleep for the umpteenth night in a row.

You are not this baby's mother. You will never find him cute and adorable. Please, before you do him and yourself terrible harm, get out of this relationship. You could try leaving while Dad has him, but Dad will resent your bailing.

I am sorry, but the relationship is doomed. Just go.