Let me give you a little history before I ask my question.

We have a small rental property (900 square feet) that we rented to my bs, dil, & granddaughter for 8 years. Then they moved to a larger house.

SS had not talked to us in about a year & 1/2 . He comes back into the picture and started college. We let him stay in the rental property rent free. All we asked of him was that he paid the utilities. This was our way of helping him while in school. He wanted a longtime friend to live with him and we agreed that was fine. After staying in the house for several months he decides he wants to move to another town about 40 miles away. We find out that he had a girlfriend going to school in that town and he had been dating her for a year and we had never even met her. We also discovered he had already introduced her over a year earlier to his bm and our msd who has not talked to us in five years (that's a whole another story). Before he moves he tells my dh that he will be sure and leave the place cleaned and pay the last utility bill (which was in my name so that he would not have to come up with a deposit). We provided a washer & dryer for the rental and an electric stove. He moves out and leaves the place horrible. He left trash, a bunch of broken down furniture that needed to be thrown away, but took our washer and dryer. Before he had moved out he asked if he could have the washer & dryer for his new place and my dh told him that if he took it we would have to go and get them replaced and that it would be just as easy for him to go and find himself a washer and dryer. Anyway he took them. He had a pet dog and there was dog pee & pooh all over the carpet. It was VERY nasty. My dh called him and asked him why he took the washer and dryer and all he said was "you said I could have it". DH tells him I did not say you could have it. DH does not even mention what a filthy mess he left. SS told him he did not want anything he had left and that he could just throw everything away. So we go and clean up the mess and haul off all the junk. I was very angry to say the least. He also left me with a $185.00 utility bill.

He had only talked to my dh a few times in several months. On one occasion my dh asked him why he had never introduced us to his girlfriend and his reply was "She's afraid of you". I told my dh that it is obvious that he has been trashed. No one would be afraid of someone they had never met unless they had been poisoned. bm has pas'ed the kids & now msd trashes us to anyone that will listen. In the mean time my dh and I purchased a new home for us to move in. We still own the old home but it was the marital home and the skids made me feel like a live in maid and as if I had no rights as a homeowner. When my husband and I married we had about the same in assets. We immediately put each others names on our property and then sold my home and I moved into his. We have joint checking and do not separate anything as his or mine, it is ours.

Okay, so we are now living in our new home and ss calls his dad. one question he asked his dad was if I liked the house (our old house needs lots of repairs) and typically when we purchased a house (rental property) it would be a fixer upper. That is just my dh nature. My dh told ss that the house we purchased was a nice home and needled little work and that I really liked it.

A few months later he calls his dad and wants to come over and introduce us to his girlfriend. My dh is on the phone with him & ss asks when would be a good day to come over. My dh looks at me and asks if the next day would be ok. I tell him no as we are having some friends over for a get together. Now ss is pushing for that day. He tells his dad it is the only day he has off and would be the only day he could come and dh tells him it would be okay. ss then asks dad if he and girlfriend would be welcome and of course dh tells him we would love to see him. I am angry, I have looked forward to seeing our friends for a couple weeks now and NOW I have to put up with ss and act like he is such a wonderful person and never confront the issue of stealing and leaving our property in a mess.

SS & girlfriend come over and they are very polite as was I. They still made me uncomfortable. I tell them a funny story about grandkids (ss nephew's) and I get blank stares and awkward silence. They stay a couple hours after our friends leave. We have not heard a word from them since. He will not return his dads phone calls. It has been 6 months and he did not call for fathers day nor dh birthday. DH called ss on his birthday and wished him a happy birthday but gets no reply at all.

So I would like your opinion on "Why did ss even want to come over?"