Nothing in particular, just the usual dissension
This is the dreaded weekend with the SSs 16 and 18. (not sure why they continue to follow custody agreement so closely considering their ages. They can pretty much do what they want but feel the need to make my life hell.
I have a one month old baby and I've been busting my butt to keep our house clean and keep up on everything all while taking care of him. Then these fools come over and destroy our house. My relationship with them wasn't always bad but they turned their back on me once they found out I was pregnant and treat me horribly now. I have never seen a 16 and 18 year old act so childish in all my freaking life. They won't look at their baby brother, haven't held him, and wont really acknowledge his existence at all. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. On the weekends they come, I think to myself, where can I go stay to get out of here? My DH just buries his head in the sand. He never wants to say anything to them for fear they will never come back (heaven forbid).
So last night as I'm running myself ragged to get the baby breastfed, pump, get dinner on the table and fold laundry (all while the 18 year old sits on his computer in the dining room.) I try to make life easier for my husband since he works in agriculture and gets home later this time of year. I then get a text from him saying "my mom's coming over tonight to see the baby, hope that's ok." I absolutely lost it. Just what I wanted to do: add my mother in law into the mix too.
Finally the other skid walks in from football practice. We waited another hour after my husband got home to eat dinner and he informs us "oh I already ate, I went out with the team." GOOD TO KNOW ASSHOLE. It didn't stop him from eating again however. (that kid is going to have some seriously health issues into his adulthood if he keeps up his eating habits.)
SO now I sit her thinking about how much this weekend is going to suck and how the laundry pile is huge from them already. I'm not touching it though. The 18 year old is in college now but still feels the need to live at home where everything is done for him and he doesn't have to lift a finger. It's going to be a rude awakening when he has to be on his own someday and doesn't know how to do anything for himself. These are the monsters my DH and his hag ex have created and now I have to deal with it.
How may hours till Sunday night? ugh
Stop trying to make
Stop trying to make perfection. When my BD11 was one month old I was going through a cheating husband, financial problems, and very intense post partem depression. Looking back now I wish someone had set me down and said, Accordn2L this baby will only be little once and you need to quit worrying over everything else and simply eat up this precious angel and cherish every moment.
I get that you still have to do house work, dinners, etc... Make your life easier, dinner is at X time, if you miss it, you are on your own. Your laundry is yours, if it's not washed, you wear dirty clothes.
And as for the husband, just tell him that you are feeling overwhelmed with a new baby and that he needs to run any visitors past you before he says yes.
Enjoy that baby and stop letting the spawns of satan take that away from you! Good luck!
^^^^ THIS THIS THIS^^^^^ You
^^^^ THIS THIS THIS^^^^^
You have a one month old - cut yourself some slack. Tell your DH that in order to keep your sanity, this is the way the house will be run from now on. You will do XYZ (cook dinner, do laundry, whatever), but you will NOT be doing ABC (cleaning the bathrooms, other people's laundry, grocery shopping, whatever) and that you need him to pick up the slack. Then, if it doesn't get done, it doesn't get done. Take care of YOU and that sweet little baby, and let everyone else figure it out.
Oh, and when IL's visited and I got too stressed out, I'd retreat to my room saying it was time for baby to eat.
Sometimes we'd just go upstairs and watch TV for a while. 
The 18 year old is in college
The 18 year old is in college now but still feels the need to live at home where everything is done for him and he doesn't have to lift a finger.
Why is everything being done for an 18 year old and who is doing it? If it's you, stop. Give him the rude awakening now.
Both are old enough to be doing their own laundry, among other things.
I agree everyone. They've
I agree everyone. They've been so spoiled their whole lives that they are helpless now. My husband always says "well show them how to do stuff or remind them" no freaking way. It's not my job.
You guys are right. I'm going on strike. I'm just going to take care of the baby and everything else can just sit there. I pride myself in having a beautiful home but it's not worth my sanity.
This morning I walked downstairs to see the 18 year old eating cupcakes for breakfast. There is chocolate all over the table. I'm leaving it.
There is only so much a SM
There is only so much a SM can take, and with your newborn you have met your limit. I have an SD13 and SD19. I disengaged in July after SD13 faked taking showers. I told DH that they had been with us FT for 18 months and I couldn't do anymore. This was mainly with SD13. SD19 is at college but is a lazy, entitled primadonna who thinks of no one else in this house except for herself. She will be a piece of work as usual when she returns for breaks.
Do you currently do the grocery shopping? Stop going if you can. Let the Skids run out of food. Unplug the computer router or change the password. I understand that farming is toughest this time of year, my best friend is from a farming family and gets up at 3am in September and October. Sometimes he'll work 20 hours in the fields.
Do the least you can do to get by for you, DH and your baby. Be happy the Skids leave on Sunday. Also, if DH is NOT there to see the boys right now because he is working long hours, then suggest that they don't come over. You don't need them coming and trashing the house. Maybe you can have the custody agreement rewritten for this time of year, or make sure DH is around as best you can. They aren't coming to visit with you. You don't need the aggravation. Hang in there.
~ Moon
I appreciate it. Even if it
I appreciate it. Even if it doesn't fix things, it helps to come on here and hear encouraging words. I plan to leave crap to pile up all weekend. It's really hard for me to do but I'm committed to it. That's why I'm always torn though when my husbands working such long hours but he needs to teach his children to do things for themselves.
I went through the same
I went through the same guilt, esp when DH got a new position at work. His commute went up to 55 miles one way from 18. I knew he was exhausted when he got home, but hey, so was I, and I sure didn't get any love from the Skids like he did. I have diabetes, fibromyalgia and terrible chronic back pain. I finally realized that it didn't have to be all on me. DH would get home and I would go down to the kitchen only to find crap everywhere from SD13. I would ask DH calmly, "Once you get settled in, this that and the other thing in here needs to be cleaned up." I would say it right in front of SD13. At first, DH would clean it himself. Then he started asking SD13 to get her butt in gear. He'd be tired, hungry and just wanted to chill out but he had me parenting him to parent SD13. It has worked for the most part.
Lazy doesn't work in our house. Some SMs actually throw out the toys and clothes that the Skids leave around the house. I have done that a little bit with stray socks etc. How I would love to do it with SD19's laptop or car keys...... }:)
~ Moon
Speaking of throwing crap
Speaking of throwing crap away. I did some laundry and found a scan disk from one if the skids. I threw it straight in the trash. He looked for it for a week. Didn't say a word. Ha. Maybe they should keep track of their crap
I had a talk with DH and told
I had a talk with DH and told him it's not ok to just have his mom come over without asking me. He seemed to get it. We will see in the future.
I should mention that after
I should mention that after boycotting the laundry all weekend, the 16 year old did two loads. I about died of shock.
Nice to hear that the enabled
Nice to hear that the enabled generation is learning basic coping skills in your home lol! Glad to hear you threw out the scan disk thingy, too. I found all kinds of crap under my bsmt sink AGAIN yesterday, including a pair of SD13's underwear :O , so I took everything and threw it out, including her toys. Oh well. If I do a little at a time, all of her shit should be gone by the new year!
~ Moon
ETA: I don't even let my renters come by to drop off the rent at my house on a week night anymore. It is MY time and I have a very small window in which to get ready for the next work day. My renters keep screwing up the automatic payment online, and then they text and text asking if they can bring it by. So annoying. I will not open that door in my PJs and no makeup for your payment. Put a stamp on it or learn how to use your online banking. I have 5 dogs and the renter likes to come by at 10pm. Um, DH and I are in bed at 9pm. Early to bed, early to rise....you know the phrase.