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SD's first Preschool Field trip... and No BM.

MdMom's picture

So, Last Thursday was SD Pumpkin Patch day with her preschool class. At the beginning of SD's school year BM and FDH had a talk about 'Turning a new leaf' (I posted about it)
After that conversation between FDH, BM and her BF (I was not involved, I have TOTALLY disengaged from BM) BM told FDH during this conversation that she would like to 'get know me better'. *eye roll*
So she told FDH that if I wanted to attend ANY of SD's School activities that I was more than welcome to. I DO NOT attend anything without FDH.
ANYWAYS, So Pumpkin Patch day was on a Thursday, BM texts FDH on the Sunday before, 'I can't Make it to SD's Pumpkin day, I have more important things to do, and we have already taken our son to get pumpkins... BUT BF wants to take her, are you or MDmom going to go?'
FDH had asked me to go with him (he is easily overwhelmed in crowds when there is little to no organization) I said Sure, we can make it a family thing, and get the pictures I need for baby books, photo albums, Scrapbooks ect.
So BM texts him this, at first FDH told BM that her BF was more than welcome to join us at the pumpkin patch. To which BM's reply was 'Well, BF thinks it would be Weird if he were to go and you guys were there. So could he just take her and drop her off when they're done?'
I laughed at the request, Because I think it is VERY overstepping for BM and her BF to request such a thing! FDH was PISSED that BM would even ask such a thing. again I just giggled to myself because this is the monster HE had created!
ANY time BM asks for SD on our time she gets it, Father's day she asked for SD for a few hours so that her BF could 'Have a full father's day' I told FDH I wouldn't do it if I were him, But I'm not him. and BM's BF got 4 hours with SD on Father's day. and FDH was upset the whole day because of it. I said nothing to him to try and cheer him up, because he did it to himself.
FDH text BM back and told her that we need to get past the weirdness for SD. There are more activities/field trips in the year, and that BM and BF need to get over it. FDH and I would be attending mostly all of her school things (If not me than FDH), and that if they didn't want to because it's 'Weird' then that was on them. But we will not not attend something for SD just because of them. and he reiterated that her BF was more than welcome to join us.
I had a little party in my mind for FDH, Just when I feel like he has let go of the reins he pulls them back with all his might!
*Clap*clap*clap* FDH.
Needless to say, Bm's BF never showed.
Later that evening BM text FDH and said that if it was just him going her BF would have gone. but because I was going too he thought it would have been too weird.
again I laugh, cause they don't know me, a side from my name and what other people have told them (which is mostly False anyways)! hahaha! If they want to try to make shit weird, I can make it WEIRD! hahahaha!

Has anyone had something similar happen to them? If you have what have you done... OR what WOULD you do?

Glassslipper's picture

BM asks for SD on our time she gets it, Father's day she asked for SD for a few hours so that her BF could 'Have a full father's day' I told FDH I wouldn't do it if I were him, But I'm not him. and BM's BF got 4 hours with SD on Father's day. and FDH was upset the whole day because of it. I said nothing to him to try and cheer him up, because he did it to himself.

been there done that! ^^^ Every year DH complains because SD and SS are on an annual father's day fishing trip with BM's husband and not him, but he is the one who agrees to let them go! WTF.
I would never!!!! so creepy to think of kids remembering Fathers day as an annual fishing trip with their Step dad???? REALLY?

NoNo, not for me!~ I don't like it one bit, but hey, BM gets what ever she demands in my house...

MdMom's picture

That's how it's been for me too!
BM asks for a few days/hours on our time ALL the time. FHD will say yes and then he gets all tore up about SD not being here... The last time he did this was when the fare came to our town and BM asked for a full Thursday (we get SD on Wednesday AM) to take SD FDH said okay (we're not 'fare' people)then moped around the house for the WHOLE day! I just told him he did it to himself... She could have taken SD Mon, Tues OR even WED, since he is at work when SD gets dropped off she could have taken her that whole Wednesday and SD would have been home before FDH got off work... BUT NO! he had to agree to BM taking her on his day off.

Hey though.. SD isn't my kid, so she just has to go along with the Schedule changes that BM and FDH agree to. I've learned that getting upset about every Schedule change is:
A) Tiring and I have enough to deal with in my life. No point in losing energy over something I have no control of.
Dirol Pointless... again, there is nothing I can do to change it.
And C) Just plain silly, Why exude so much energy in getting angry or upset when I can use that energy stay happy. Also I don't want my kids to see me in such a state, so I would rather just stay happy!

I just have a little party in my head every time BM doesn't get her way... She dropped the topic once FDH told her what happened about not making things Weird.
It also gives me glimpse of what it would be like if FDH had his ball attached at all times. AND I LOVE IT!! lmao!

Glassslipper's picture

BM asks for SD on our time she gets it, Father's day she asked for SD for a few hours so that her BF could 'Have a full father's day' I told FDH I wouldn't do it if I were him, But I'm not him. and BM's BF got 4 hours with SD on Father's day. and FDH was upset the whole day because of it. I said nothing to him to try and cheer him up, because he did it to himself.

been there done that! ^^^ Every year DH complains because SD and SS are on an annual father's day fishing trip with BM's husband and not him, but he is the one who agrees to let them go! WTF.
I would never!!!! so creepy to think of kids remembering Fathers day as an annual fishing trip with their Step dad???? REALLY?

NoNo, not for me!~ I don't like it one bit, but hey, BM gets what ever she demands in my house...

ChiefGrownup's picture

We have the opposite. Every year since I've known dh we've offered Mother's Day to BM (we have them every single weekend). She has never, ever said yes. She's always "busy." Funny, because she has a minimum wage job with no weekend hours, it's not like she's been called in to arbitrage a deal or perform brain surgery on a Sunday.

She never goes anywhere, her house is always a horrid mess, she's rarely in contact with her family. Can not imagine what is so important that she can't spend one jolly hour with her own kids on Mother's Day.

There is no evidence of her "doing" anything whatsoever at any time. What the hell is she "busy" with? Oh, yeah. Watching Ancient Aliens episodes and Pride and Prejudice for the 1,978th time.