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SD Threw Dinner in Trash

Frustr8d1's picture

Full-time SM here. Weekends are pure hell no matter what. SD11 is in the habit of going out to God knows where all day all evening. Every day I ask DH if it concerns him. Or maybe at a minimum he might at least wonder where the hell SD goes, where she pisses, where she eats...?? Every day, DH yells at me for asking. Tells me not to ask him. Tells me not to let it get to me. Ummm ok. I guess if DH doesn't care (and obviously BM doesn't care since she abandoned SD years ago) then I should not care, right?

Well, Sunday dinner rolls around. I made one of my gourmet Italian meals (I'm going to chef school and I put a lot of effort into cooking) and, as always, I made a plate for SD. I was feeling extra sorry for SD today for some reason--her being so awkward from being abandoned and all--so I gave her the 2 biggest pieces of prime meat. She said she'd be home at 6 but finally came here at 6:45. By then, we were done eating and watching a movie on the couch. SD walks in at 6:45 and says, "Can I go back out until 7?" DH says no, go eat your dinner and get ready for school. SD is pissed so she sits at the table, slouches, puts her hand over her ducked forehead, and keeps giving DH & I the stink-eye.

I'm just irritated inside but I let it go. After a few minutes, SD gets up, puts her plate in the sink and stomps away. I go to the kitchen to pour a much-needed glass of wine, only to find the trash lid open and 2 full pieces of expensive meat in the trash! The pasta was in a container in the fridge. In other words, SD didn't eat anything (Where the HELL did she eat and piss all day today I have no idea) So now I'm fuming inside. I take the meat out of the garbage and show it to DH. He calls SD to come explain but as always, that punk stands hiding behind the wall out of my view and yells that it was all fat and no meat. Look bitch...I have proof right here in my hand! DH tells her next time, she won't get anything if she's just going to throw it away. What does the brat say?! "Oh, so you just want me to starve to death?"

I couldn't stay out of this one so I told her if she's really starving, she would eat the fat! Still, it was meat NOT fat. And this kid is dumb enough to seriously wonder why in the world SM just does not like her much.

Comments

oneoffour's picture

She is 11 and can call the shots? Oh honey, you need to keep your money separate because she will be in jail or pregnant inside 5 yrs. BTDT.

FMSL's picture

Holy crap! Sounds like my SD exactly! All I can say is I am so so so sorry. If you're anything like me, you just wonder where your sanity went. For me, I always feel guilty because I can't stand the sight of SD then I question myself and where did my life go.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

"Oh, so you just want me to starve to death?"

As a veteran of many food wars with my own very oppositional son, now 15, the pickiest eater you will ever meet, i can tell you the last thing you want to do is engage in a battle of wits with an insubordinate (pre)teen. I feel for you, and i would have the same response to a kid who threw my food into trash - the food i made, or the food that is on the table due to the money i made. Establish rules, pin them to the frindge, point to them when confronted, and do not give her the satisfaction of a prolonged verbal sparring match. You are the adult, you determine the parameters.

Tell your DH that it is his job to get an apology out of your SD (my preference would be in writing). I typically used to tell my boys under similar circumstances that a 5-paragraph essay is what it is going to take to make up for this offense.

The matter of your SD being AWOL on weekends is a cause for concern and a different kettle of fish altogether...

ItHasGottenBetter's picture

I can relate to 'where the hell is SD'.

In the past 3 weeks, mine has been gone a week, spends nite home then gone another week. I questioned and preached to DSO last school year and it had 0 effect. BM bitches SD doesn't come see her, but since her Mother has made no effort in the 4 years since she lost custody, SD doesn't give a shit about her. Her grades are good so no worry there.