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Are you married to SD21 or to me?!

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Fri, 09/19/2014 - 12:56pm

Yep, DH pulled another one. He and BD8 are traveling to SD21's town for family weekend at her college. I posted the other day about how I'm the very last person to know plans, behind random strangers at this point.

Well, DH told BD8 he was going to pick her up from school (changed work schedule, didn't infom me until a couple days ago). I finally asked about it yesterday, he confirmed he is picking her up.

Today I get a call from BD8 around noon, she is at home with daddy. What?! So he picked her up from school several hours earlier (as opposed to at end of day, like both BD8 and I thought). Why? So he can get to SD's town sooner. I can GUARANTEE he has told SD21 he will take her out to eat or shopping or both, so he HAS to get there on HER schedule. I can guarantee it. I KNOW this man and I know SD21, and the only way/time she is happy is if you are spending money on her. He HAS to buy her things so she will give him the gift of her time. Otherwise they could have left when school was out and been there by 8 pm.

BD8 is looking for her swimsuit, I don't know where it is, nobody (meaning DH) told me they were going anyplace that had a pool so of course I couldn't pack something I didn't know she needed.

Sorry, just venting, so sick of being the last person to know absolutely everything. I said to DH: "How many parents does BD8 have?" He said "Two." I said "And how hard is it to inform the other parent, who needs to know about plans that affect the other parent?" Silence.

Comments

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Fri, 09/19/2014 - 1:06pm

Good one! "Well, since you seem to communicate first and foremost with SD21 and allow her to take the lead on plans that affect MY BD8, then perhaps you need to work with HER instead of me (who is just BD8's MOTHER and therefore not important enough to consult or even keep informed) to ensure BD8 has everything she needs for this trip." Grrr.

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Fri, 09/19/2014 - 1:33pm

Hmmm, you noticed that, did you? Yes, if this was SD she would HAVE to have a new swimsuit. BD8? She'll probably get told, Sorry, you just get to sit by the pool and look because YOU didn't keep track of your swimsuit. (Can you tell I'm a bit bitter?)

Poodle's picture

Submitted by Poodle on Sat, 09/20/2014 - 4:34pm

Yes and why are you permitting this? If he takes BD8 to hobnob with SD21 who from the sound of it is not friends with you, you are setting up conflicting loyalties for BD and that will come back to bite you in the butt. I STILL don't allow BS16 and BS11 to meet any of the difficult members of DH's family without me being present. It's one thing disengaging, another protecting your daughter's welfare and development.
Stand up to DH! BD comes before this nonsense with SD.