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DH Puts too Much On BM Apparently

GoodBye's picture

DH and BM got a notice from the school that SD is way behind on her reading skills. Seriously, the poor kid is SOOOO terrible at reading it's sad. So whenever she's here, DH spends hours sitting with her while she reads. It's a painfully long process but bless him for his commitment. So anyway...Tuesday night BM comes to pick SD up and this was their convo (I was in the kitchen listening to this ridiculousness):

BM: I don't know what we're going to do about SD's reading.
DH: What do you mean? We have to practice with her.
BM: Well she has a desk in her room (as if to imply that simply putting a desk in her bedroom will miraculously help her read better. Is this a magical desk?)
DH: She needs parental guidance while she reads
BM: so you're putting this on ME now??
DH: No, not YOU. US. As in her PARENTS.

Is she fucking serious?? If I were DH I would have said "actually yes, I am putting it on you...you know, since you're the one who doesn't want to do joint custody, you're the one who is going to have to spend a majority of the time reading with her. I'm sorry...is this inconvenient for you? Would you like to renegotiate custody?"

Ugh, I seriously wish I could telepathically send these thoughts to my DH...as it stands, he usually can't think of a good comeback until long after the fact. What a lazy twat though!! I don't understand...

Comments

Teas83's picture

Some of these BMs are so clueless. Yes, to help a young child succeed in school you have to actively participate. So many parents think that kids will just learn everything they need to know in school without help at home.

It sounds like your DH is doing a good job.

GoodBye's picture

The sad part is it doesn't even matter if she is a moron. The court will side with her anyway because they always do. She actually pulled SD out of swimming lessons (the only activity she was in) because it was "too much of a hassle". She just wants the perks of being a parent without actually being one. It's no wonder SD gives up on everything halfway through with such a poor example to follow.

hereiam's picture

I think you just have to look at it and presto! you can read. Or maybe touch it. Or just be in the same room with it. In any case, you don't actually have to open a book, just having the desk is enough.

I can speed read, as I have two desks at home.

hereiam's picture

My SD had a hard time with reading (and everything else.) We did what we could but EOWE was not enough to make a difference. BM refused to do anything. She would tell people, "SD is retarded and will live with me forever." SD is NOT retarded, just a little slow, which could have been overcome with the proper help. BM was/is just lazy.

SD is now a 23 year old high school dropout who does, in fact, live with BM.

GoodBye's picture

Oh dear, I hope that is not the case for us because I know for a fact BM wouldn't let SD live with her because she can't be bothered. And no way am I having a 20 something skid live here!

Lady Danger's picture

A MAGICAL READING DESK! Where can I find one of these?? Good thing BM is on top of things and got a magic desk. Phewf.

My SS7 is struggling to read as well, notes sent home from teacher, BM is primary custodian.. problem is BM can't read/spell to save her life, so she won't spend time with SS teaching him. (Seriously, I found a shopping list she had written? She spelled "toilet" three different ways, three different times... all ways wrong.. toliet, toilett, toilette.)

Stand by DH and support him against BM's idiocy. Or stand behind him and roll your eyes Smile

GoodBye's picture

I will find the name of this magical furniture store...perhaps they have a magic bed. Oh, and maybe a magic stove that makes meals for you? Really, the possibilities are endless!

Tuff Noogies's picture

i applaud your dh for his effort.

yss10stb11 cant read worth a shit. and dh doesnt give a damn.

GoodBye's picture

Trust me...it's pretty darn frustrating for him. Especially when it takes her 10 minutes to sound out the word "that" which appears about 15 times in any book. "T...ttt...today?" "No, stop guessing. Sound it out" "t...ttt...tomorrow?" Lol, I'm not making fun really, I know lots of kids do it, but she is particularly bad for guessing the words instead of actually trying. Takes her about an hour to finish a simple book. Poor DH.

Tuff Noogies's picture

ooohh the guessing. i HATE that.

yss is all "reading's STOOOpid." *sigh* i used to help him with it, i had much more patience that that sort of thing than dh. then he started with his shitty attitude. so he's fairly illiterate and guesses at a lot of words.

sad thing is, he's supposed to read a little something daily as part of his homework. but he doesnt do homework, so i guess he'll just learn how to cope in life on his own.

GoodBye's picture

Yeah she's in grade 1. I'm totally aware that it's all part of the learning process...it's just the fact that we've all been alerted by the school that she's behind (in other words...time to make her practice more), yet BM doesn't seem to think it's fair for her to have to read with her? Like what did you think having a kid was going to be like? Skipping around, going on ferris wheels and eating lollypops 24/7?

GoodBye's picture

Omg, BM is a medicine mom too. I'm sure soon she'll try to blame it on ADD or something invented and demand she be medicated.

Teas83's picture

BM taught SD to "read" once. She had this picture book with only a few words on each page. She brought it to our house and "read" it to us. I pointed out to my husband that she had memorized the words of the book based on the pictures - she wasn't actually reading the words.

My husband took the book and wrote down all of the words from it on a piece of paper, then asked SD to read them. She could not.

GoodBye's picture

LOL omg we did the EXACT same thing! We have a book that her mother also has at home, so she picked that as her book to read last time she was here and ripped through it by memory thinking she was tricking us. So DH wrote some of the words on paper for her to read...same thing. Couldn't do it.