Does anyone have SDs who do not suffer from Mini Wife Syndrome?
I am very happily with my DP for 7 years now. Having had an OKish relationships with skids, I have recently (and successfully) disengaged from the skids mainly due to the fact that when they were around it was like being with a man who had two mistresses and I always felt like the "other woman". Now I have disengaged, I am rarely in their company so the situation has become tolerable for me and they get their dadddeeee time without the wicked SM being around. SDs are 17 and 19 so no longer kids really.
This is the second man I have had a relationship with who has daughters - the first relationship broke up mostly because of his daughter's extreme mini wife behaviour and him indulging it.
Just curious, are all SDs mini wives or have I just been unlucky? I'd dearly love to have a good relationship with skids - I have a great relationship with my teenage nieces, my DP's nieces (who love me) and the teenage kids of my friends and I think I am generally good with teens so it's a shame I can't have this situation with DP's kids.
sorry need to remove my post
sorry need to remove my post for privacy reasons
Mine aren't mini wives. They
Mine aren't mini wives. They do have very close relationships with their dad. They know they can confide in him, talk to him and that he'll be there. They each spend one on one time with him. He has a motorcycle they love to ride so they take turns going on it with him. All three (dh and SDs) love it, as do I. It gives me more time to myself
They know they can talk to him about anything and go to him for support and love in tough times. He tells them "no" and doesn't spoil them. But they know he'd walk over hot coals for them.
A lot of these mini wives are created by these poor excuses of fathers. IMHO creating mini wives is child abuse. It's putting kids in adult situations and roles of power they shouldn't have. So the blame put on the kids kind of baffles me. Put the blame on the jerks who made them that way.
I agree with this.....I feel
I agree with this.....I feel it stems from guilty feelings, which to me starts with the dads molly-coddling the skids and then giving in constantly because they "feel sorry for them" when they have no need to be......
Then it just grows as the skid does.....
My SD is only 7...and Ive
My SD is only 7...and Ive been coming on here on and off for some months now....I have come to the conclusion that if allowed to develop, this would occur in my relationship too.....I have also realised that it starts fairly early, and with certain signs (from what I can gather) which are present in different degrees at the moment.....so, after reading this, I have decided to do all in my power to ensure that I...STRESSEDSTEP......is THE dominant female of MY household.....and that thi is understood from the off!!
I hope I never have to go through this mini wife thing, Ive read so many that have been through and are going through it, and it sounds truly horrid!!
My SD23 is not a mini wife
My SD23 is not a mini wife and never has been. I've been in her life since she was 5 and she has always known her place.... and my place.
But my DH has always treated her like a daughter and not a partner.
Could be worse. SD24 tries
Could be worse. SD24 tries to act like she's the man of the house whenever she's around. Constantly have to keep putting her ass in check.
My older 2, no, never. My
My older 2, no, never. My youngest might have gone that route - except DH refused to allow it. Thank. GOD. She was 8 when we first started dating, and she'd try to maneuver so if we went out to eat SHE was the one sitting next to him. DH told her to move over so he could sit with me. When I would go over to visit, she would follow us around, even trying to come outside when DH walked me to my car to give me a kiss goodnight. DH yelled at her to get her butt in the house. She would argue with me about *anything* - math, grammar, world events, whatever. DH always told her I was right and she'd be smart to listen to me. (Sigh. Sometimes I wish he'd take his own advice!!!!) Fortunately she got the message AND she started to accept me. She's 17 now, and by far my favorite of the skids.
It really depends on the
It really depends on the guys. If you like the "quiet type", that means that they are easily manipulated by these girls (that almost always resemble their dominant mothers).
I cured this behavior when it got ridiculous. If DH asked for a cup of coffee, SDs would jump to get him one, cut me off, spill hot coffee all over. It was stupid. Now, I say "Daddy wants this-or that" and I let them be his minions
Oh, and grab me a cup while you are at it too 
Make them work for it.
^^ this is the same for
FDH is a gentle giant, and is affectionate towards our children. But he knows boundaries with whats okay and what's not for our daughters and SD too. He lays with the kids on the couch, and I do too. we kiss and hug and the kids are very affectionate with each other. When SD comes home everyone gives her hugs and kisses, DD2 tells her how much she missed her and calls SD her best friend.
and the same goes for when she goes to BM's
SD is in a fase where she want Adults to play with her, but she's not all over FDH about it, she has two little sisters and a baby brother she can play with, so she does that until FDH is ready to play with the kids. and they all act like a unit as well, SD isn't the only one who gets to play with FDH, they all do. Sure she chooses what they play usually, but DD2 and DD18mo don't mind they just go along with it.
I am VERY thankful that we wont have the mini wife problem... I know I wouldn't be able to handle it!
My SDs are not miniwives at
My SDs are not miniwives at all but mostly because my husband doesn't allow them to be. His ego is not stroked by 2 young girls (7/5) wanting to hang all over him and being needy princesses. He is a loving father, but he has made it clear that a wife and a daughter are not the same relationship or even at the same level and it is not a contest AND if Hungryeyes ever wants the spot next to Dad, you better move your butt out of her way.
He loves them, but he will not tolerate the miniwife behavior.
I think this stems from a restaurant visit a few years ago and SD was really whiny and 'Daddddy this' and 'Daddddy that' and when we went to be seated, I asked for two separate tables much to my husbands surprise. So they were sat behind us and SD laid all over him. And she was still whining and trying to get his attention.
My son dropped a fork on the ground and he turned around and asked 'Having trouble over there?' and I looked him up and down with SD laying in his lap and said loudly,'Are you on a DATE OVER THERE?!' And he was immediately embarrassed.
Mini wife behavior has not happened since.
Loved my first SD (BS17 1/2
Loved my first SD (BS17 1/2 sister)...we had a great relationship...no mini-wife at all. SD14 that I have now is awful. I think it is more a personality thing and how these kids are brought when it comes to what determines the outcome of mini-wife or not. I feel for you...when I read what you wrote it could have been me writing it.
No miniwife here. Sd and dh
No miniwife here. Sd and dh are very close, but more like buddies. Which can still be annoying, but not creepy. lol
Sd was a baby when bm & dh divorced and was still a toddler when I met him, so idk if that keeps that kind of thing at bay.
Geez.. I wish!!
Geez.. I wish!! Unfortunately, SD is pure mini-wife and is still pissed off that she cannot control her daddyyy.