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I just can't like my step-daughter!!!

sjd2111's picture

I am a divorced mother of 3 girls. 7,3,and 1. They are very smart and caring. They follow directions well and rarely fight. Then comes my perfect boyfriend. He has full custody of his 11 yr old son and his 7 yr old daughter. They were abused by their mother and we have had them for the past year. His daughter is a nightmare. No amount of counseling has helped this child. She is vindictive, possesive, and down right MEAN. I have tried loving this child but it is extremely difficult. She is a product of her mother who is a psychopath. His daughter is so obsessed with my 7 yr old. My daughter was sick and stayed home from school, his daughter hit someone just to get kicked out so she could be at home with my daughter. I love my boyfriend. He has seriously gotten the raw end of the deal on this situation. Our parenting styles are very similar. He is just as sick of her. We both want what is best for her, but she is ruining any sort of sane life for everyone involved. HELP!

Ughugh's picture

You nailed it. These skids are INCORRIGIBLE. Normal kids adapt, change, fight the system but eventually adapt. These skids are like lost causes. I get the feeling we are all on here because our skids are what they are: Sociopaths.

kathc's picture

No matter how much you love him, if his child is that bad then you are doing your own kids a disservice by making them live in that situation. You really should live separately until he gets her under control.

AVR1962's picture

You sound like me as a young stepmom, I was so in love with my husband, thought he had got the short end of the stick and that his ex was psycho. He had custody of his two sons, then 5 & 7. the 7 year old was much like you described your SD. With years and time I learned that part of my SS's issues were due to his father's lack of stepping to the plate as a father figure and being a stronger role model in his son's life. Even though I still do not get along with his ex, I do not believe she was the horrible person my husband had painted her to be.

I think SS had trouble accepting that his mom and dad had divorced and that bio mom was not a daily part of his life. This caused him to act out in all sorts of different ways. He saw me as the easy target to blame, too young to understand what he was dealing with.

Sounds to me like you are dealing with the same type of situation.

ctnmom's picture

Your "perfect" boyfriend has custody of a child who could very well end up hurting *your* child, or at the very least emotionally scarring her. I wouldn't subject my kids to this mess. Move out, and date him.

Rags's picture

Solution: When all else is not working, consistent, liberal, and increasingly stinging application of corporal punishment.

If SD can't be reasonable, listen, and comply then she has to feel.

IMHO of course.