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My turn in the barrel

Most Evil's picture

Ok well things have been really bad for a long time and today my h. said he is leaving me. We have had horrible fights and said horrible things and I guess this is really it. The sad thing is that I do not have a soul to turn to, to help me survive. Sad

We have said this so many times, in fact really almost daily since the beginning, so it has been an unhealthy relationship and not the norm, but it was all I had. Now I am at the point of having to let people know, cancel some commitments where people are going to be mad because I can't afford them and have no car.

I am so embarrassed to tell anyone. But I do need support so feel forced to contact my sister, and tell her my most embarrassing and shameful moment. Her husband is an attorney and can hopefully help me get an attorney.

It is going to be so ugly getting through this and I am not sure I will survive. I want to just give up but of course I can't. Sad

Comments

B22S22's picture

It will get better.

I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. You may not be able to see that "reason" today, tomorrow, next week, or even next year. But something sometime will come along and make you think back to this moment, and it'll all be crystal clear.

I've had my share of moments like yours (not divorce, but my first DH passed from a terminal illness when we were fairly young and had 2 kids under the age of 6)

You're at that moment right now where you are pretty much rock bottom - the only way to go is up. And that is exactly where you will go, as long as you keep focused on it.

Good luck.

Steppy MN2's picture

I know exactly all the feelings you are talking about. The loneliness and the shame. My heart goes out to you. Not sure I can give you any sage advice as I haven't found any answers other than to put one foot in front of the other.

Most Evil's picture

I love you ladies- thank you for helping me!! I did contact my sis and she was a big help, so feeling a little better, thanks to you all Smile

DPW's picture

You want to know what I know? I know that you are incredibly special, with a kind heart and wonderful personality. I also know that you are strong enough to go through this because of everything you have gone through with your DH. It's time for the next wonderful phase in your life, it really is. I can feel it. Hold your head up high, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.