Fulltimers & Resentment
Last week I felt like I was going to die of depression. Suddenly I'm feeling resentful. Do any of you full timer SPs, male or female (with ZERO support or visitation from the Bio) ever resent that you have to provide 100% when the kid is completely rude toward you and ungrateful to both you and your spouse? It would be different if my SD actually showed she needed and appreciated what we do for her. BUT, SD is rude and even downright mean to DH and I. We have tried every approach with her. Rewards. Compliments. Punishment. Praise. Help. Support. She just doesn't respond to anything. I know, I know....she's a pre-teen with hormones....But still, we have taken all kinds of abuse from this kid to try and help her become a normal adult and still she has not learned one damn good thing from us. I thought I would be able to teach SD by setting a good example. But all the efforts I have taken to be a good example have been in vain. SD just doesn't see or hear or follow the good I'm trying to do for her.
Example: Don't get me wrong, I really don't mind SD, or any person in my house, helping themselves to food. But, when SD11 has done nothing but shit on and betray DH under the roof and nice life he provides to her, it just pisses me off when SD comes out of her stink cave of a room at 10 pm and says, "Can I make a sandwich?" Right after we already provided her a big dinner, and after I tried to teach her about picking up her own plate and helping with dishes. So then, she makes a PB&J sandwich WITH honey. Uses the entire last half of the jar. Gets honey all over the cabinets. Overlooks the completely full sink of dirty dishes and full garbage EVEN THOUGH DH has made it perfectly clear to her that is her one and ONLY job in the house. Shuts herself in her room (even though we tried to tell her the importance of talking and hanging out with family) then comes out later to ask for more...
Just a rant....can't help sitting here feeling resentful.
- FMSL's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Married to a widower here so
Married to a widower here so I'm it FT
I so get your post! I'm tired of the rudeness, disrespect, lack of teamwork..
Today we made a full pound of bacon. I asked if by some miracle of god he was cooking breakfast for the entire family, 3 dogs and neighbors? He said no it's all for me.....
Dishes left, grease everywhere...DH yells and then it's over....
I'm resentful, I'm hurt, I'm tired of being angry, I'm tired of being a doormat
I feel it! BM died last year
I feel it! BM died last year of cancer. The SDs were 11 and 17. OSD is now 19 and is an entitled POS. Seems normal and sweet until you ask her to do something or say "No" to one of her requests. DH has made up every excuse in the book for her, but I'M the one who says she needs therapy to grieve her BM and deal with the guilt she's feeling. BM was just as difficult as SD19 is now and DH keeps blaming it on OSD's "environment." Well, maybe if she had respected her BM and done what she was told to when BM was alive, then maybe now it wouldn't be so bad. BM is gone and SD19 is still a POS, so now what is the real excuse?
YSD just turned SD13 and told us last week she wants to be a boy. May or may not be related to death of BM, but this Skid still hasn't cried over her BM's death. Therapist will be digging at that next week so stay tuned. SD13 has started lying and being a space cadet this summer with the onset of puberty, but we still get along.
SD19 just left for college and I dread when she comes back to visit. After 1-1/2 years since BM died, SD19 has only been under this roof 4 months out of the year because she's away at college. I am going to blow my top the next time she is home and starts up. I can't be quiet, or try to talk it out with her because she is an immature, disrespectful, lazy bitch who has played into DH's hand her entire life. I will kick her out this winter if I have to. I will not tolerate her attitude ruining this family anymore. DH keeps saying I don't like her, and I reply that I don't like her disrespect for DH and I. She thinks the world revolves around her. The family does better when SD19 is away.
Go take a Benadryl and go to your padded room already. You make my f*cking stomach hurt. Yeah, I'm a little resentful, I guess.
~ Moon
No offense but I'm glad to
No offense but I'm glad to hear someone is experiencing the same thing that I am. I have my ups and downs, sometimes I even think I'm the problem. I resent my husband because of what comes out of my SD11 mouth. I just wish these kids had one ounce of respect and the DH just doesn't tell me to ignore it.