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Ring at the pawn shop......... I'm leaving the pain behind

cloudySM's picture

If you recall my last post. My DH took advantage of me sexually. You all opened my eyes. I didn't want to admit that he assaulted me. I said I wanted to stop , I cried but he finished anyways. Now I have to live with the pain of a short failed marriage. I have to deal with knowing someone I trusted with all of me stabbed me in the heart. I can't get that night out of my mind. I've been talking to some people at a women's shelter for a little while now. My friend and her husband went with me to get my things. They stood right outside the door waiting for me.

There was another woman there wearing my shirt. I didn't make eye contact with him. I told her to please be careful. He was as cold as ice. He told me to hurry up. He followed me rambling on about how she is wild in bed , more confident, 100 times more lovely and special than I ever cold have been. He married pathetic , weak, ungrateful me out of pity. The other woman just stood there watching me. I didn't cry, I didn't respond and I didn't let my guard down. I got my stuff. I offered him the wedding ring back. He threw it at me and told me to keep it.

not even an hour later I received this long email. He is so sorry. The other woman means nothing. It was a mistake. She came on to him. He was just saying all of those nasty things because he was mad I was leaving. He didn't mean them. Any thing he has ever done to hurt me was a mistake. He is so sorry. His life is nothing without me. He feels like he is dying inside. bla bla blah. message sent to trash bin and deleted.

I took that ring to the pawn shop. I think I'm going to use the money for a luxury cruise and a s mall shopping spree. I'm flying home tomorrow. I'm going to be going to therapy twice a week and staying with my parents for support until I feel healed enough to get my own place again.

I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be. This is hard for me. But in a way i actually feel blessed that I saw his true colors before things got a lot worse. I feel like I need to hit the ocean and sail far away. Just relax and sip a few martinis by the pool. Maybe watch a play or two, get a massage and just feel free again.

Thank all of you so much for your support. It truly meant the world to me. I read your replies over and over again feeling empowered. I encourage you to keep encouraging each other. you truly have no idea how much a kind word over the internet goes such a long way. keep spreading love. xoxo

Comments

misSTEP's picture

not even an hour later I received this long email. He is so sorry. The other woman means nothing. It was a mistake. She came on to him. He was just saying all of those nasty things because he was mad I was leaving. He didn't mean them. Any thing he has ever done to hurt me was a mistake. He is so sorry. His life is nothing without me. He feels like he is dying inside. bla bla blah. message sent to trash bin and deleted.

In other words, the woman heeded your advice and left him.

Sorry this has happened to you but glad you saw the light. You are stronger than you know and your life will be so much better in the long run.

queenofthedamned's picture

He deserves not one ounce more of your worry, thoughts, attention, etc. Fuck him. Move on, and be happy. Better to have a failed marriage than be dead.

hereiam's picture

I am so sorry you are going through this and that he did that to you. But I am glad that you had the courage to leave.

Just know that you are better alone than with him and that he is nothing, period.

oneoffour's picture

And in a few days he will fire off another hate and spew email to you... followed by remorse-email.

You got away from him. He no longer has something to control. And just maybe that other woman saw how he treated you and in a corner of her mind there was an 'ah-ha' moment. If this is how this man behaves it will eventually reach out and get her.

Divorce him. Know you made the right and safe decision. Take a self defence class, see the therapist to make sure your mind is clear and you see the warning signs in the future to avoid such men.

Your life is shining again and full of positive blessings.

heartofdarkness's picture

I'm happy for you! I think the scenario oneoffour mentioned is highly probable, so if you have a way to block him... That may be for the best.

Best of luck! It sounds like you are well on your way to taking care of you and moving on. Smile

z3girl's picture

I'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling, but I'm so proud of how strong you are! Congrats on getting out of a bad situation. You have your whole life ahead of you!

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

Holy shit. You made it out alive!

Congrats on being so strong!

Your life will be so much better and you will be so much happier!

This experience has made you a stronger person. I hope your confidence continues to grow.

You can do anything you put your mind to!

lily11's picture

Stay away! Far away from this POS! He clearly has done this in the past and will continue to do it in the future to somebody else. Somebody else will come along and put up with it.

You are blessed to have supportive parents to help you. Good luck to you!

Delilah's picture

Good for you. I am sorry this weasel of a man has behaved this way, but what doesnt break you only makes you stronger. Cliche but true!

Btw, get that email out of the delete file and keep it as a)reminder of what a f*cking abusive arsehole he is should you have a moment of weakness or doubt and b) as proof of what a cheating, abusive arsehole he is for your divorce -he admitted it in writing so nail him with it.

Anon2009's picture

I'm so sorry for what happened to you.

Please see if you can get a RO on him and call CPS on him anonymously. He shouldn't have custody of his kids. He's pure evil.

Shaman29's picture

Never....ever....ever be alone in a room with him. Always have someone with you.

Good luck. I'm glad you got away from him early. For some people this goes on for years.

I wish you all the happiness in the world.