So I am trying something new..

I have always had a problem with the BM. She has always been rude, vindictive, and has no respect for really anyone in her life. My FDH has recently become fed up with not only her but me having a problem with her, and wants to just run. So I have made the decision that since this is the man that I want to be with, that I need to make a few changes myself.

1. Be more accepting of the new situation that FDH is going through and try to help him through the divorce and child custody issue.. But I also need help doing so, or more so advice as to how to help him through this difficult time instead of pushing something that pushes him over the edge.

2. Rather than saying no to taking the girls when neither of them can, spend the time that I can with them and bond with them. Since the beginning I guess you could say that I have been rather resentful towards the children and even my FDH because they aren't my children, and I do not and will not ever have the same bond that they do with them. Not to mention I do not have any children of my own, so it makes it hard for me to feel a certain way (What ever that way is supposed to be).

I guess what I am asking is for advice for new step-moms and how to just contain the anxiety I feel about the divorce and the kids and be more understanding. I have never been in a relationship with kids involved up until the last year, or with a man that was going through a divorce. I am extremely hard headed, but am willing to take any advice I can get. The relationship is not bad, but it also isnt the best that it could be. And I would like help to get it there.