SD controls the relationship
Forums:
Hi!
I am brand new to this.
I have been dating my SO for over six months. We are engaged, but no one knows (separate issue).
She has two daughters, one (18)away at university and the other (15) at home.
I got along with the younger daughter very well until the past week.
Her Mom and I broke up, for the third time, and are now trying to reconcile. The daughter has announced that she is through with us.
So now I am at my house, after having lived with them for the past 4 months.
My SO will only see me when the SD is out. Or like this morning, when the SO came to my house at 5am for a 'booty call'.
I HATE this.
The kid is 15, but still needs to be read to at night!
She is needy, has no friends, and expects to be in every adult conversation!!!
I think you HAVE lost
I think you HAVE lost count...I believe it was closer to 2,775?
...couldn't resist
You had me at cheesecake!
You had me at cheesecake! Yummm!
Engaged but no one knows ???
Engaged but no one knows ??? Red flag ~
If you are willing to be a booty call man ~ that's your deal.
Children don't call the shots in a relationship. Why is she do afraid to declare your are together ??
My kids will never make my decisions in my life.
I bet when keeping the
I bet when keeping the engagement a secret because she knows her family and friends will think she's crazy for planning to marry a man she just met.
I don't blame the kid for being done with this. You've only been together for 6 months, yet you've already had 3 break ups. The kid may just be sick of all the back and forth.
Dating six months while
Dating six months while living together four of those months...and , broken up 3 times, not to mention 'secretly' engaged. Yeah, IMO the teen is thinking 'damn, Mom, get your sh*t together before dragging home a stray for a 4th time'. Can't say I blame the teen.
You have broken up 3 times in
You have broken up 3 times in 6 months?
I am curious as to why you
I am curious as to why you broke up 3 times in 6 months ??
I've advised on many an
I've advised on many an occasion that people contemplating becoming a step-parent not do so. You're doing what I advise which is to physically stay out of the kids life. But you also need to stay out of the parenting.
They've got 15 years of parent/child relationship going for them, for good or for bad and its not your place to say if its good or bad. You let Mommy do as she sees fit and ask that you not be included or hear about any going ons when it comes to the kid.
Listen a million kids are growing up right now in the U.S. without your help and 99.9%+ are doing and will do just fine. So will this one. Once the kid is off on her own, past college if she goes, then you two can consider marriage or shacking up.
You will be 100% happier if you stop trying to be Daddy, you're not and never will be.
At what point did I say that
At what point did I say that i was trying to be a Daddy???
You have moved out so move
You have moved out so move on. This lather rinse repeat move in, move out, relationship should have given you absolute clarity by now.
Four and a half years of
Four and a half years of dating????
Congrats?
Judgy lot aren't ya?
You know things are bad in a
You know things are bad in a step relationship when the one person using common sense is the teenage SD.
She's the only one mature enough to say let me off of this crazy train.
UM.....wow. Just wow....
UM.....wow.
Just wow....
I think we all understand the
I think we all understand the "Just wow...". Sometimes advice is not what we are expecting.
Take care of yourself.
So many red flags with this
So many red flags with this relationship, before we even start talking about why the daughter is acting like that. Get away from this situation for a while, being engaged after only knowing someone for that long, and after already breaking up 3 times, is not a great idea, if it was you would bothy be happy for it to be common knowledge.