Way to Care, SD...As Always...Way. To. Care.
Normal self-centered pre-teen attitude doesn't even begin to describe it. SD11 (almost 12) is unusually selfish. For example, she can be standing right in front of someone watching them fall and break an ankle and she will just stare at them and ask, "So what am I going to eat? I'm hungry." True story. DH has even joked that someone could be on fire and she would just stand there and watch. I wouldn't trust her to pull a splinter out of a stuffed animal!
So DH has had a horrible case of food poisoning for 3 days. Finally today, he reached his limit and was near collapse. This morning, I had to partially carry him to the car to go to the ER. On our way out, SD was sulking on the couch upset that she was bored. Didn't even notice DH in dripping cold sweat and shaking. Dealing with an emergency and just looking at that rude shitface, I felt so upset I just told SD "We'll be back. Going to the hospital." She still just sat there then muttered Bye as we walked out. The whole time we sat in the ER with DH hooked up to an IV (an IV that they missed the vein and there was blood everywhere) I was worried about DH and at the same time, so bothered by SD's demeanor and was dreading going home to hear SD asking inappropriately timed questions.
After DH was discharged, I drove him home, only to find an empty dark house. I thought SD was creeping in her room like always (I swear I feel like I live with a Bat!) Instead, we find a note ON THE FLOOR that said "I know I should have waited but I'm at my friend's house. I'll be back at 8:30 p.m. Thanks."
Anyone who says, "I know I should have done...." it means they are admitting that they KNOW they are doing the wrong thing! SD knows she's uncaring, selfish, and unthoughtful but she continues to be like that anyway.
As I helped DH sit on the couch so he could start the meds, eat and sleep, I go to put some water on the table next to him only to find the entire table just FULL of crumbs. What a way to shit on the only people who have stepped up to raise and take care of her. First, don't even care to find out if her own dad is ok or if he is deathly ill. Second, leave your mess behind as you carelessly and selfishly walk out the door. If this was my kid, I would feel sick inside for having such an unthoughtful child.
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I have an SD19 and an
I have an SD19 and an SDstb13. FT for the past 1-1/2 years. Ugh. It seems as if your SD is devoid of emotion. Does she get upset and throw tantrums? When she does, does she cry? I had a friend like that when I was a tween, and I thought it odd that when she was overjoyed she didn't smile "really big." When she was upset, she didn't cry. It's like she was numb and I don't know where she got it from. She was spoiled and selfish and doesn't hold a job of her own today. Lives off parents' money and CS for a 12yo she has. She is 45yo now.
Maybe the paper flew onto the floor when she breezed by or shut the door on her way out?
I can't imagine your frustration with this SD while your husband was so sick. I know the worrying about him must have consumed you these past few days. Is he feeling any better?
Do you walk on eggshells with your SD? She sounds more like my SD19 who thinks everything is about her, but not to the same degree as yours. DH, myself and SDstb13 try to avoid confrontation with SD19 because she turns into a full-on bitch. I'm at the point where I don't care. I've been disengaged for almost a month and unfortunately most of my probs have been with SDstb13 as she enters puberty. She lies all of the time now. It's her new thing. Oh and she doesn't shower or brush her teeth.
Maybe you could tell SDstb12 that there will be consequences for her attitude and for her going out, if that was breaking the rules. Take her stuff from her, let her starve, let her get dirty. Disengage? I'm doing it, and I have gained more respect. Hang in there.
~ Moon
ummmm does she see a
ummmm does she see a therapist? I think she should. Your example shows that your SD doesn't have empathy for others. Does she form emotional attachments?
I asked because people who
I asked because people who have no empathy, no emotions but pretend to have them are psychopaths. They are good at pretending so most people don't even know it. That's why people say "I would have never guessed he/she was a serial killer. They were a loving husband/father/etc."I didn't want to come out and say that because it may not be the case.
I seriously don't think she
I seriously don't think she will become a doctor. You can't tell me that she's only a slob at home. Doctors have to be clean, I think they will notice if she doesn't scrub. Also, compassion is part of your doctor training. I know I manage the training of several fellows. I've got one on probation right now because she's a selfish cow. She seriously told an 11 year old patient she developed type 2 diabetes because she was fat. Despite the fact that it was true, there are other ways to say that. UGH!
That's horrible! The doctors
That's horrible! The doctors who have no compassion for people became doctors for the wrong reasons (usually money). I'm a little more strict on the compassion part because I manage pediatric specialties. You just don't say stuff like that to kids. I hope your new doctor treats you better and helps you deal with your medical issues. *HUGS*
I must work with an unusual
I must work with an unusual group of doctors then. Because all the doctors I work with are fabulous. We went and had dinner at the chief's house last weekend. It was a blast. We goofed off until well after midnight.
Nice. So clearly she is just
Nice.
So clearly she is just nasty at home. Which is very puzzling. Why can't you wash at home like you do at work/school?