Maybe you and DH should sit down and discuss what the expectations are for the children in the house. Write up a list of chores for each girl. Then discuss with the girls. Then when the list is not followed your not picking you are simple enforcing the house rules

Why don't you set out a list of chores and put it on the frig. Make it very clear whose job is what and the consequences for not getting it done. Also lay out the rules for disrespect and not picking up, hitting, not eating their dinner and post in on the frig. We do this and that way no one feels like they are getting picked on because all the chores and consequences are out for everyone to see. The thing is that you have to enforce them or it is a big waste of time.

I am wondering, your situation is very similar to alot of womens on here...Does your husband enforce the chores? Does he make sure that the house is clean and the kids' bedrooms are tidy?
If not, then why do you? DOn't worry about his daughter and I know that sounds stupid and I know it may not seem fair, but either you and your husband join an alliance or you let him worry about his daughter and you worry about yours. At least your daughter won't be classified as a messy little piggy.

" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore

Hi,
Does both daughters live with you guys full time?

I would do it this way.
Each Girl ( child) is responsible for their own room ( if they have their own rooms ) IF they share, One week, your Daughter does it, 2nd week his daughter does it. And rotate the weeks. this way you will see who is actually doing the work! Another way about their rooms. close the doors. OR Take the door off the hinges. So everyone can see the mess and she is embarrassed, this works well, AND HAVE NO PRIVACY , THEY HATE IT... NO PAY for their OWN ROOMS.
DISHES SHOULD BE ROTATED , EACH WEEK A DIFFERENT CHILD. SO IF YOU HAVE THREE KIDS, THEY DO DISHES, EVERY MEAL FOR ONE WEEK AND ONE WEEK OUT OF THREE.<

Sus As for household chores for common area's, ( living room, kitchen baths etc) a list would work. Make a list with each job and the discription of what needs to be done and completed in each room, plus what you are willing to pay for that job to be done correctly AND leave boxes for the dte & who cleaned it to sign their name..for pay day!!!
Make sure you keep each room pretty equal in price.
if you can afford allowances,
Start off with the list & a certain rate per job. Pay each child, lets just say $10.00 "credit" and pay day is every "Friday" (weekends when kids want & need money to go do things with friends ) start by paying them in advance, then start deducting the ones who aren't doing the jobs.so the next week their pay will be zero or short some money. that they did NOT work off.. They have a set amount of time to get the work done, you decide and write that in too.
IF it is NOT done by the time you set, and work description, written on the chart, you deduct a certain amount from the $10.00 credit each child has....another words..each chore is a set price. Then when it comes time to PAY the child you deduct the wage, for incompleted work.
And the child who does the work ( properly) & completes it GETS all the money on Friday !!
Pay day is ONLY on Friday. ( or what ever day you choose BUT Friday works well) because if weekends !!

They MUST clean it ( that room or rooms they pick) the entire week to get paid.
EXAMPLES BELOW:
kitchen- $5.00, clean kitchen for a week, WIPE MICRO, FRIDG, floors, counters, etc.
Bath #1- $3.00 Scrub tub/shower, sink, clean floor, etc
Living room 5.00 Vacuum, dust, windex TV, water plants, etc
Laundry- $5.00 collect, wash, dry, fold and place, etc( OR THEY DO THEIR OWN WASH) MOST TEEN GIRLS LIKE TO DO THEIR OWN !
Bath #2- $3.00 scrub shower, sink, floor,

anyway these are jusT idea'S I'VE USED, depends on how much you can afford and how many children you have. The lazy one's will NOT GET ANYTHING!!!

The one's who do the work and complete it GET PAID.
DO NOT GIVE IN TO THE ONES NOT WORKING!!

I had one daughter who did most of the work, boy were the other jealous when she made $20.00, $25.00 a week and got to spend it & go places.
The lazy ones got to sit home , and got ZERO !!

So instead of HANDING your KIDS Money..Make them EARN IT.. IF YOU HAVE THREE Kids, THE limit would be say : $30.00 divided between the household chores. All THREE can earn it or ONE can earn it..Depends on who is willing to MAKE SOME BUCKS!!
DO NOT PAY THE CHILD FOR CLEANING THEIR OWN ROOMS.. USE THE TIP UP TOP FOR THAT..THEY ONLY GET PAID FOR COMMON AREA'S EVERYONE USES IN THE HOUSE.
YOU CAN ALSO HAVE EXTRA STUFF LISTED TOO. YOU SET THE AMOUNTS.
LIKE CLEAN:
SWEEP OUT BY FRONT DOOR $1.00
GARBAGE $2.00 WEEK
FEED DOGS & CATS $3.00 WEEK

Sus- THESE GIVE THE CHILDREN INCENTIVES TO EARN MONEY, ( since they can't get a job yet due to age) AND THEY ALSO LEARN RESPONSIBILTY.
AFTER LEARNING TO WORK AT HOME, THEY DESPERATLY WANTED TO EARN MORE AND WORKED SINCE THEY WERE 15 YRS OLD. ALL WORKED THEIR ENTIRE LIVES. BECAUSE THEY WANTED THAT FANCY 80.00 PAIR OF SHOES OR TO GO TO DISNEY ETC.
THEY WILL ALSO LEARN HOW TO SAVE AND SPEND MONEY. I MADE ALL MY CHILDREN SAVE 20 % OF WHAT EVER THE EARNED, WEEKLY.
AT 15 THEY WORKED FOR THE COUNTY WE LIVE IN, ONE DID COMPUTER WORK AND THE OTHER TWO WORKED FOR WIC. AND HEALTH DEPT. 15 YRS OLD.
IF THEY FELL BEHIND IN SCHOOL..NO WORK, NO SPENDING.
YES I HAD TO DRIVE THEM OR MY HUSBAND DID. BUT IT WAS WORTH IT.

THEN THEY WORKED ON THE BEACH BUSING TABLES AT A EXCLUSIVE RESTAURANT. STILL 15 & 16 YRS OLD. THEY WORKED 3 NIGHTS. EARNED BETWEEN 45-130 PER NIGHT(WEEKENDS MADE MORE $$)HOLIDAYS 200 A NIGHT..THEY LOVED THEIR MONEY.THE ONLY DEAL WAS WHEN THEY STARTED EARNING A LOT IN TIPS THEY HAD TO SAVE HALF.
THEY NEVER GOT IN TROUBLE, OR DID DRUGS ETC. EVEN THOUGH THEIR FRIENDS DID. THEY KEPT BUSY, EARNING AND LEARNING.
THEY SAVED HALF THAT MONEY, WHEN THEY TURNED 16 YEARS OLD & OPENED SAVINGS ACCOUNTS...AND WE TALKED AND MADE A DEAL..TO GET CARS, AT 18 THEY ALL HAD HALF THE MONEY FOR DOWN PAYMENTS( SAVED THOUSANDS TOWARDS THEIR CARS OVER 3 YEAR PERIOD ) ON BRAND NEW CARS/ NOT USED. WE MATCHED WHAT THEY SAVED.
THEY ALL WENT TO COLLEGE, AND HAVE DEGREE'S AND ALL OWNED THEIR OWN HOMES OR CONDO'S BY TIME THEY WERE 25 YRS OLD.( VERY SUCCESSFUL GIRLS) ONCE THEY GRATUATED COLLEGE WITHIN 3 YRS, THEY ALL MADE HIGH 5 FIGURES, AND ONE, MADE 6 FIGURES BEFORE SHE TURNED 25 YRS OLD.
MY OLDEST IS NOW 37 AND HAS A FREE & CLEAR HOME. SHE PAID OFF HER MORTGAGE ALREADY.
ALWAYS TELL YOUR KIDS , "THEY CAN BE ANYTHING THEY WANT TO BE, THERE IS NO LIMIT", YOU JUST HAVE TO EARN IT.. AND YOU'LL END UP WITH VERY SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN