Acceptable Phone Calls
Last Monday was SD's 6th birthday. SO got her this year. This is the first year that he was allowed to have SD on her birthday. SO and I took the day off of work, and had plans to take her to San Francisco to spend the day going to the beach, parks, and museums, followed by dinner at a place that SD had yet to go too.
When we picked SD up at BM's for the day, BM demanded that we answer the phone at exactly 6 PM for her to wish SD Happy Birthday. SO told her we would be in the middle of something, but that he would have SD call if when we were done. We were in the middle of dinner when 6 PM rolled around, and BM called 20 times, including calling my phone a couple of times. We do not answer the phone during dinner, since it is rude. We had SD call BM about 20 minutes later after we finished eating.
They do not have anything in the CO about phone calls, and SO believes that both mom and dad have a right to call the child to wish them a Happy Birthday.
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BM does this. So she's
BM does this. So she's blocked from my phone. DH just ignores her and sd calls back when we r free.
You already told her you were
You already told her you were going to be busy at that time and would call afterwords. She's just trying to play control freak. Good for you for not enabling such behavior. You didn't prevent her from talking to her mother, it was 20 minutes later. She's just playing drama queen.
I don't understand the phone
I don't understand the phone BS either. My ex and I have a great relationship (him and his wife are coming over Sat night for a BBQ / Back to School Schedules meeting (on SM's request). We will drink beer and BBQ.
If I have kids, exH can call them on my phone, their phones, whatever to speak with them. He can call. If I don't answer, he'll request a call back and I'll try to give him an estimate on when kids can call. He'll also ask for me to have the kids to call their grandparents (his parents) on their Bday's, etc.
But this is a very civil situation.
With BM. DH has an RO against her. She is permitted to call between 7 and 8 pm on Mon and Wed. Depending on her level of drunkenness, she will text at varying times, "it's 7. where's my son?"
Then of course there's the times he is not going to be home at 7 so he calls her earlier in the day and she explodes, "I'm going to call the police if you don't call me at 7 pm"
... someone needs some new meds, clearly.
We picked her up at 8 PM the
We picked her up at 8 PM the night before. She also told her Happy Birthday before we left her house on Sunday.
My issue is that if it was 10 years, we wouldn't have been home to accept the call anyway. Cell phones are nothing but a hassle, and I feel she has no right to call me if she can't get a hold of SO.
We also only had her for a
We also only had her for a day before she went back to BM's. BM felt that SD was born at 6 PM, and since this is the first year she didn't have SD on her birthday, it was really hard on her, and she should be allowed to interrupt our plans to make herself present. She also had SD beg to have us invite BM to participate in our plans. I put my foot down the moment those words came out of her mouth.
20 calls would be met with an
20 calls would be met with an email explaining that it is excessive, will not be tolerated and would warn that if it happened again, she would be blocked.
BM's actions were trying to control your home. F that! SD called her back in 20 mins.
... and perhaps a petition
... and perhaps a petition for a restraining order for harassment
I just feel sorry for BM's
I just feel sorry for BM's like, and by extension, their child/children. Is the definition of controlling, and I MUST be the most important thing in your life at all times. (And I'm a BM-Ex-wife as well).
What I loved was when SO
What I loved was when SO called her to hand SD the phone, she tired to keep him on the line to complain about how "Today is the day I brought her into the world." Go ahead BM, make it all about you.
SO let her get one line out then told her to be quite and speak to her daughter, or hang up.
We had to request
We had to request modification for that before we got full custody. In a 'normal' world it wouldn't be an issue but if you dealing with a monster you need to set ground rules. Since it is not in the CO there are no rules. I would highly recommend setting up the ground rules via email so you can have documented proof. You always have to show you went to extra mile, were more than flexible and let her look like the crazy one by being inflexible.
I think you guys handle that
I think you guys handle that wonderfully. BM's like that and I know, love to be in control and push all boundaries. It was great that you guys set the boundary and followed through. Wish my DH was that good!
It's always a control battle.
It's always a control battle. You have to protect yourself. Any time we deal with BM I ALWAYS think with my 'going to court' hat on. Every single time. She is to NEVER be trusted.