You are here

Advice on Birthstone Necklace

coping's picture

Submitted by coping on Fri, 07/25/2014 - 4:51pm

I really want a birthstone necklace with my BS's birthstone and his initial. I don't want to include my SD because she hates me. (hates me b/c I'm not her bio mom, no abuse or anything). Because she is so hateful, disrespectful and down right nasty, I just don't want her stone included. But if I don't, she will complain about that as well. Since I can't win anyway, I want to do it. Has any one else done this?

Comments

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Fri, 07/25/2014 - 4:55pm

Don't tell her it is her brother's birthstone. It is just a new pretty necklace that you like to wear.

Frustr8d1's picture

Submitted by Frustr8d1 on Fri, 07/25/2014 - 5:06pm

I did that! And I still don't feel guilty! My SD hates me too for no other reason except that I'm not her biomom....so I hinted to DH that I would love a ring with BD and my birthstones in it. I told DH I love dark green and light green together.....so one year for Christmas, he gave me a ring from Tiffany's with Emerald and light green Peridot....I love it and I treasure it! I don't feel one bit guilty because BM can do that with her own daughter (my SD) if she really wants to connect with her in that way. I have a right to do that with the daughter I carried for 9 months and sacrificed for.

I look at it like, well if BM gets a birthstone with SD, then she should also include my BD---NOT NOT NOT!!!! So, why would I include BM's kid with MY bio??? LOL.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Fri, 07/25/2014 - 7:04pm

Look, if you DID put sd's birthstone and initial on, you'd likely get some pissy message from BM -- "how dare you, I'M her mother!"

katielee's picture

Submitted by katielee on Fri, 07/25/2014 - 7:12pm

How about a grandmother's necklace? I am considering an Origami Owl locket for my mother for Christmas, and I want to get birthstones of all her grandchildren... 10 of them. I do NOT want to include SD12's birthstone. For starters, my mother hardly knows her and what she does know she did not like.

ashica's picture

Submitted by ashica on Fri, 07/25/2014 - 10:47pm

Step kids aren't your kids period. That is the cold hard reality of being a step-parent to these kids. They have their own parents and nothing will change that. I have 4 step kids and one 4 yr old of my own. I have lots of pictures of him and I and lots of things I do with him. When my step children come around and ask if they can do it or I want one like my sons. Then I say, well ask your mom to take you, or get you one. We as parent's aren't their to be their own parents. We are their to guide them, and accept them as just small adults that look up to us as guidence for life and to set good examples.

stepinafrica's picture

Submitted by stepinafrica on Sat, 07/26/2014 - 2:25am

You don't have to include your SD. You also don't have to make a big announcement about the birthstones. Just do it quietly.