I just got a reality check that has shattered my faith and confidence in the strength of the relationship I had with my step daughters.

Stepping back a moment, I am a 61 year old average guy. I have a good job of which i am proud. I'm not an abuser or a nasty person or alcoholic monster by any means and have been living together with my wife (their mom) for 10 years - married last year. Throughout their school years I supported the girls ambitions, both spiritually and by some modest contribution financially within my means. I do not have children of my own so the whole parenting thing was a real tall learning curve for me. The girls now range in age from 31 to 24 yr old twins and are all university grads who live in their own homes. To be clear the older girl is not at issue (I think).

Over the years I thought I was building confidence and trust as our relationships matured. Some recent events have shaken this faith and have left me truly confused about what comes next. After the recent death of my mother I heard one of my siblings lament that they had no children or family to depend on in their later years. I thought I was the lucky one because I did have what I believed were strong family connections in the framework of my marriage. I now see just how fragile that connection was and I'm asking myself, "Who will be there for me in my declining years?" Like my sibling, I now question this seriously.

Now to the point, a recent dispute among one of our girls male friends (platonic friend) has caused a dramatic upset to our family stability. I have befriended this young man as a peer and mentor and due to the upset cause when he broke the so-called bro-code with another of their female friends one of my step-daughters tried to impose on me a moratorium of not associating with this young fellow. I stood my ground and tried to encourage moderation and tolerance so that this 'drama' would not escalate. In spite of this my step-daughter has chosen a course of provocation and confrontation. The young man in question has decided to accede to these demands in an effort to depolarise the environment. The daughter in question is now treating this as a vindication of her mean spirited attack and has continued to pursue her attacks with me as her new target. Her twin is also telling me to give in and admit I was wrong. Regardless, I see their attacks as being juvenile and unwarranted.

The net result of the upset is that the twins have now adopted a posture with their mother that I must admit I was wrong or they won't be coming to our home. Credit of my wife, she is saying that this is a petty dispute and they should let it go. There is no indication of that happening. The one piece of emotional blackmail they are using is that I'm not their "real" father. A fellow who by the way did not and does not provide any material or emotional support for them.

The bottom line is that they have betrayed my trust and confidence to the point where I've now believe I need legal counsel as part of a consideration toward ending this marriage and protecting myself. I don't feel I can even confide in my wife about my feelings. I feel hurt and angry that they are trying to drive a wedge between my wife and I, and they have forgotten altogether the times when I backed them up or came to their rescue. I've had a few damn good cries about this, but still this feeling of betrayal sticks with me.

I don't see a way to reconcile what was a petty squabble outside our family but has now become a power play. It bothers me immensely that these girls have such a shallow view of me that they feel it necessary to poison the well being of a happy couple to make a point. This is a very dark time for me and I feel backed into a corner where there is no more space to retreat.

The purpose for this expression is to shout out loud about how painful this has become to me. In a short span of time I went from feeling loved by my new family to having lost it all over a stupid petty drama. This has really made me feel like I must now take steps to protect myself and I feel guilty of sensing this need to insulate myself against a woman who has given me her love and respect because of her petty and mean girls.

Just a damn shame.